Fund Moss's Life-Changing Surgery

Hello everyone! My name is Moss, I'm a 30 year old trans costume enthusiast and full-time self-employed artist and I could use your help.

I've been on testosterone since February of 2021 and earlier this year I was finally able to start the journey of getting gender affirming top surgery. This surgery is a big deal, it's going to provide a significant improvement in my mental and physical health in numerous aspects.

--------- Why surgery? --------

As a transmasculine and masculine-presenting person, my large chest causes an enormous amount of dysphoria and discomfort. My chest is always in my peripherals and my awareness of my body and is a visual and tactile discomfort that I currently have to live with 24/7. When I'm at home I don't bind my chest because it's unhealthy and genuinely too uncomfortable to tolerate on a daily basis, so I have to live with the dysphoria of my chest not being bound. In order to leave the house I have to wear a restrictive binder which is very uncomfortable, and since my chest is so large it unfortunately still doesn't help much in terms of flattening the unsightly appearance. Binders are not a long-term solution for chest dysphoria, they cause restricted breathing and can also cause damage to the ribcage and internal organs over time, especially for people who have large chests like mine. They also get sweaty and retain moisture which not only smells bad but also can lead to a number of skin issues including chaffing and topical or systemic bacterial and fungal infections.

In addition to the overall dysphoria, having a large chest causes other obstacles for my physical comfort. After a struggle of gaining and losing weight repeatedly since being a teenager, largely due to a hormonal imbalance and eating disorders caused by insecurities about my weight, I gained weight to the point of being over 300lbs by the middle of 2020. I'm incredibly thankful that my hormone replacement therapy fixed a number of problems that the imbalance had caused, within 2 years of transitioning I managed to lose a massive 100lbs doing a tiny fraction of the exercise and dietary changes that I'd been previously doing. While this has been a massive improvement for my self image and my overall health, it has unfortunately left me with loose and sagging skin, especially on my chest. I experience numbness, tingling, and issues with blood flow to my chest while wearing a binder and especially while trying to sleep. Back, neck, and shoulder pain are a significant part of my daily experience and the weight from my chest causes poor posture, which makes it harder to prevent pain.

In the current world where there are so many people who have hateful prejudices against queer and especially transgender people, being able to "pass" or present myself in a way that fits into societally acceptable gender norms is also important for my personal safety. Multiple states have passed laws banning transgender people from using the bathrooms that align with their gender presentation, so having a very noticeable feature that does not fit with my gender presentation puts me at risk of even being able to safely use the bathroom while I travel or visit my out of state friends. My chest being noticeable puts me at risk of physical violence when using the men's restroom if I'm noticed and identified as being trans. Despite the fact that it would already be a punishable criminal offense to use the men's bathroom, my appearance is also too masculine for me to be able to use the women's restroom without causing discomfort and concern to the other bathroom patrons, which would likely also result in police presence and potentially being detained.

--------- Why am I fundraising?------

I've had consultations and have found a surgeon whose work I love and has amazing feedback from other patients. Unfortunately the surgeon and his facility are out of my insurance network so I'll have to pay out of pocket for the entire cost of the surgery. His facility is also located out of state so I'll have to pay for travel expenses for myself and also for someone to accompany me who will help with my recovery and the travel back home. There will be a pre-op appointment before the surgery, the day of the surgery itself, and post-op appointment several days after the surgery to make sure there aren't complications. We will have to stay in the area for between 10 and 14 days before being able to fly back home.

I'm a self-employed artist. Unfortunately the pandemic took a large toll on my business, getting back on my feet financially has been a process multiple years in the making and I'm not at the end of the journey yet. Being able to fully earn the money by myself for the cost of surgery and travel through my business income alone would be an enormous feat, and in addition to that I will be unable to work and earn more income for a period of time between 4-8 weeks after the surgery depending on how fast my body recovers. I have amazing, kind, generous, loving, and supportive roommates who have taken care of me in numerous ways including making sure I was well fed when I couldn't afford to buy my own food and waiting patiently for me to be able to pay back rent that I owe. They've been helpful and generous in every way that they can, but there are also bills that have to be payed every month without delay that they can't help me with.

My upbringing taught me to strive to be as self-reliant as possible, I've made a point to do as much as possible to live my life and accomplish my goals on my own with minimal or no help. As I've matured and grown as a person I've realized that no one in society can live without ever needing help, and just because someone might be able to do something without help doesn't mean that they have to do it alone. I'm still working to get rid of the mentality of not being worthy of help and trying to get over the fear of asking for help when I need it. I'm not sure if I can do this alone and I know how enormous of a gift it would be to have help.

-------What's the goal?-------

The total goal for fundraising is $11,000.

I'm very fortunate that the surgeon I like the most is also offering the most affordable quote I've received, the price I was quoted for surgery is just shy of $9,000. As far as I've been told that price covers the cost of the surgery itself as well as the pre-op and post-op appointments and facility expenses. $9k would cover the big show itself.

Travel is a separate set of expenses. I will need to pay for plane tickets for myself and the person who will be caring for me, food for both of us, and a car rental. Fortunately a friend has very kindly offered to let us stay with him during the entire period of time so there won't be a hotel/Airbnb expense, which removes a significant portion of the travel expense. It will be a 2+ hour drive each direction to and from the facility and with there being multiple appointments it would be far too expensive to Uber, so we'll have to pay for a car rental and gas. Between the plane tickets, the food, the car rental, and the gas I expect the travel expenses to be above or around $2,000.

As previously mentioned, I will also be unable to work to earn new income during my recovery period, which is likely to be 4-6 weeks but could be as much as 8 weeks. There are bills that will still have to be paid during that time so if I end up managing to get fully funded any additional funding will be put towards bills during my recovery period.

It would be an enormous surprise to be able to hit the funding goal, but literally anything would be incredibly helpful and immensely appreciated. I will be doing everything in my power to raise my own funds in the meantime. I've been working overtime on nights, weekends, and holidays in my studio to create things to sell to cover current expenses and try to earn enough for the surgery expenses too. I do not want to take new commissions to cover this cost, so I'm dependent on my ability to sell things that are already completed and any support I might get through donations.

If you're not able to donate, spreading the word would also be an enormous help. Thank you for your consideration and support. ♥️