Funds for Forrest

(Updates Below)

Many people told me, in many different words, that motherhood would be the greatest spiritual journey of my lifetime. This told to someone deeply devoted to her spiritual path! This told to someone who spends her work and her spare time with children – I thought to myself, piece of cake.

When I declined my initial ultrasounds and opted for midwifery and a home birth, I was asked at that 20 week mark a question: If there were to be abnormalities, would that change your decision to birth this child? My answer was absolute: No.

Forrest Wayne was born to our family on September 10th of this year. He was 6 lbs 7 oz and beautiful, with a steady heart and healthy brain. His first cry was a miracle, as is and will be his existence. But he is not what any of us would expect.

Acceptance of both Forrest and our story requires a certain degree of courage and grace. It requires us to set aside our own views of “normal” and biases that, at least in my case, I wasn’t aware I was holding. Biases that make us think there’s a way things “should be,” and should they arrive any differently, that there’s something wrong. There is a degree of heartbreak in this as in anyone’s story, but please don’t mistake:

He’s a miracle. And he is remarkably healthy and whole.

Please continue if only you’ll see him this way.

Forrest was born with a condition that, as of yet, the geneticists and doctors cannot explain. As I mentioned before he is healthy, but was born missing both of his legs and one arm. His right arm developed full size, but the bones in his hand are fused, as you’ll see in the pictures above. We won’t know until 6-months whether they can be separated, and would have to make a decision about this at that time.

I can speak for the lot of us when I say we’ve been through the emotional gamut. And I expect that, for those of you who know and love us, it may be the same. We experienced the terror, the heartbreak, a tinge of rejection that very soon gave way to the most unconditional love; we experienced the grief, the longing, and the feeling like something had gone terribly, terribly wrong.

If this is your experience, honor it. But by the time you meet this child, please embrace him with the attitude that we’ve settled into: that for reasons unknown, this is the body that will best serve his Spirit, and that there is a Great Mystery at work that we’d be silly to question or try to understand. Our work is to surrender and accept, and to love with hearts wide open.

I’ve been quiet until now about sharing this story, but a few friends approached me after they met him and said they’d like to organize a fund. While this terrifies me and makes me feel shy, I realize that Forrest is a community baby: it will take a true village to raise this son.

The funds that we raise through these efforts will go towards ensuring Forrest’s safe and future care. He will need things like specialty car seats, physical and occupational therapy, super sweet wheelchairs to help him get around, tools to help him use the bathroom and navigate the home space, potential operations and prosthetics should he opt for that route, and more that I cannot imagine quite yet. It will be set aside in an account just for him, to be used when time arises.

Your collective desire to help has shown me that my biggest fear – the fear of rejection, that for some reason people wouldn’t love him the same – is unfounded. Your love and support will be healing us.

I look into his eyes and I’m laughing. I thought that I knew what Love was! Something tells me that when you meet him, you will feel the same.

With love and blessings for this beautiful baby boy,

We thank you, we thank you, we thank you.

Alexandra and Forrest