Funds for Linda's Peaceful Goodbye

A letter from Linda’s foster/forever mom:

Linda came to BFPA on February 25th with her three puppies, Tina, Bob, and Gene, after being dumped by someone in Wilson. It was evident that she’d endured abuse and neglect, but that’s my favorite sort of dog to foster. If you’ve ever witnessed an animal go from completely defeated to loving and trusting, then you know that helping return the light to an animal’s eyes is a reward like no other. Her first few days with me were rough to say the least, and it became clear that her past trauma had done some likely irreparable damage to her, both mentally and physically. She snarled and barked for two days straight and at one point, I told BFPA’s foster coordinator that I didn’t think I could do it. But eventually, with some love and a lot of patience (and lots of cheese cubes and Vienna sausages), she began to settle into life here. I told her I was sorry for what other people had done to her and her puppies, told her what a good mom she was for getting them to safety, and promised them that they would know only good things from then on. It took a couple of weeks, but she finally accepted that a human could be kind, and then it was like she was determined to make up for lost time. She had decided I was her person and wanted to be anywhere I was, preferably sitting in my lap.

Given her cough and evident past, I was prepared for her to be heartworm positive, but heartworms could be treated, so she’d be fine. I was not, however, prepared for the sad reality that our help had come too late; despite her relatively young age, her heart was enlarged due to the advanced stage of her heartworm disease, and she had a severe heart murmur. I couldn’t believe the cruel irony; after finally being saved, she was in heart failure. We started her on medication, but all the love and medicine in the world can’t undo what years of abuse and neglect have done to her tiny body and soul. Adoption was no longer a possibility and we didn’t know how much time she had left, but I was determined to keep my promise that she would know only good things. After a call with BFPA’s medical coordinator and a good cry in the vet’s office parking lot, I got ready for our drive home. As we pulled out, I said to her, “let’s go home,” before suddenly realizing that it was now true; we called it a hospice foster, but to Linda, she’d finally found her person and her forever home.

In the nearly four months that she’s been with me, she’s gotten her own bed(s), her own room, and a yard where she can play with her daughter, sniff new smells, and lay in the sun (while her daughter tries to eat her ankles, of course). Just like her mom, Tina quickly worked her way into my heart and her own forever home. Linda’s favorite part of each day is right before bed, when we have a good snuggle and watch an episode or two of Bob’s Burgers together. She’s gotten to experience joy and safety, probably for the first time in her life. She’s gotten to give and receive love and has learned that people can be kind. And best of all, she’s gotten to have her daughter by her side, and Tina’s gotten the chance to stay with her mom, right until the very end.

I am heartbroken to say that we are now at that end. I’d promised her only good things and since that phone call in the vet’s office parking lot, BFPA and I agreed that she would stay with me as long as that remained true. We’ve known for months that the day would come when we’d have to give her one last act of kindness: a peaceful ending. Given everything this sweet, tough mama has been through, we can’t bear the thought of her final moments being spent scared in a car or in a strange vet’s office. We want to be able to let her go in her own home, with her daughter and her person at her side. To do that, though, we need funds to cover the associated vet costs. We know that there is no magical fix to what she suffered before she found her way to me and BFPA, but I promised her and her babies only good things, and while she will be terribly missed by Tina and me, we know that this is the best ending we can give her. We know that in the end, no matter how briefly, she’s gotten to have the life that every dog deserves: one where she is loved, understood, happy, and safe.