Let's get Ken a kidney!

Short version:

Ken is a father of five who desperately needs a kidney. I have never met Ken, but through a series of pretty neat events found out that I am a match to be his donor. I live in Texas, he lives in Mississippi, and the transplant is scheduled for October 14 in New Orleans. While the surgery and care are covered by Ken's insurance, the travel expenses are not. We're raising money to cover the cost of the trips so Ken can finally get a new kidney!


Long version:

Ken is a father of five who desperately needs a kidney. And I  want to give it to him next month. How that came about is a pretty cool story. A story I'm hoping you will consider becoming a part of as well.

But first, more about Ken....


Ken has been living with diabetes and kidney failure for quite some time.  As both have gotten worse, it's been determined he needs a kidney transplant. Despite being on the list, though, he has not been able to find a donor. Not a single friend or family member has been a match. It's only because dialysis, a multiple-times-a-week process that requires being hooked up to a special machine that filters his blood, that he's still alive. With each treatment he and his wife Debra pray for a donor. So far, that's meant a lot of praying and a lot of waiting. And as they've waited, Ken's health has deteriorated.  

In fact, his transplant hopes had to be put on hold recently because his health took such a bad turn.  Due to complications with his diabetes, both of Ken's legs had to be amputated within the last year. 


But today, after undergoing those surgeries, he is finally healthy enough for a transplant and has been put back on the list! That's where Ken's story intersects with mine...and hopefully yours.

I have never met Ken. I don't really know him. I have never talked with him on the phone, only through texts. So how did I get to the point of being his kidney donor? Great question. 

In the fall of 2018 my dad posted on Facebook that a good friend of his — a woman named Kandy —  needed a kidney. She was going downhill fast and they were looking for donors. Like Ken, they couldn't find one. It caught my eye. See, my step-dad suffered from kidney failure when I was little. I remember going to dialysis with him many times. I know what life is like when your kidneys started failing, and it's neither pretty nor easy. But because of the kindness of his sister, my step-dad got a new lease on life when she donated her kidney to him. A year earlier, my niece's life was saved because of a heart donor as well. All that came flooding back as I read the post. So without talking to my wife (not recommended, by the way), I signed up to be tested. 

Lo and behold, as I went through the process the signs were pointing to me being a match. I was a little surprised but very excited. However, at the last minute someone else that was being tested ahead of me was confirmed to be a match for something called a "swap," where donors who may not be a match for their actual recipient swap for recipients they do match. (It's a little complicated to explain, but it's pretty neat.)

I was no longer needed. And I'll be honest, I was bummed. I had become really excited about the idea of giving to someone and putting my faith into practice. So, I decided that I would stay in the program and see if there was anyone else I could match for.

That's when I got a text.

It was from Kandy, the woman who I was originally going to donate to. She said that her husband had posted on his work forum when they were looking for a donor and got a response from a woman in another state (Mississippi) who was in a similar position: Her husband also had kidney disease and they were having trouble finding a donor. The wife asked if Kandy's husband would keep his ears open for anyone that may come forward. 

That's what Kandy was texting me about. She was wondering if she could put me in touch with this woman to see if I was a match for her husband. 

"Absolutely," I said. 

The woman who had sent the message was named Debra. Her husband? It was Ken. 

I quickly texted Debra to introduce myself and see what Ken needed. Here's our very first exchange: 


From there, I started the process of getting tested for Ken. And at every turn, the news I got back was good. Until finally, in the spring of 2019, I got the news that I was a match for Ken!

Because he's located in Mississippi, the closest transplant center to him is in New Orleans. Later that spring, then, I flew out there to meet the doctors, get some more tests done, and finalize my status as a match. It was a great trip, filled with a lot of hope.

But as we were finalizing the transplant after the visit, that's when Ken's health took a turn for the worst. Everything was put on hold. We waited and waited and waited. 

Finally in April of this year Ken got a clean bill of health. But this time it was my turn to put things on hold. See, a year earlier I had been losing weight, which was necessary for the surgery. But during the year Ken was getting better, I was getting worse. I took a u-turn and I put all the weight back on...and then some. That meant that I wasn't healthy enough to donate. So this spring the doctors told me I had to lose a minimum of 20 pounds before I could be cleared to donate. 

It wasn't easy. See, when the doctors gave me my goal weight, I was actually in the process of burying my step-dad — the same one who had a kidney transplant when I was younger. He had gotten sick at work, came home, and in the matter of hours was unconscious in the hospital. We would find out later he had the worst stroke possible. Within a few days, he died. That made losing weight a little harder than I anticipated, as I fought through the grief and the emotional toll it took on our family. 

But my step-dad's death also made my resolve even stronger: My family got 25 extra years with him because his sister, my aunt, made the selfless sacrifice to give him a part of herself. I want Ken's family to experience that same new lease on life. And as a Christian, I also can't think of a better way to model what Jesus did for me and the love he's called me to show to others. 

When the weight loss didn't really happen from April to July,  I sought help from a personal trainer. He kicked my butt. He changed my diet. He changed my life. And now, over the last two months, I've lost over 20 pounds. This week, I was finally cleared for surgery!


So that brings me to this gofundme.

While I live in the Dallas area, the transplant has to take place in New Orleans where Ken's doctors and transplant team are located. While the transplant and the medical care are completely covered by Ken's insurance, the expenses surrounding the trip are not. Those expenses include flights, food, and lodging for a week minimum. And not just for me. Because it's a major surgery, my wife has to go with me because I'm not allowed to travel alone. We need to be there on a Monday for pre-op, the surgery will take place on Wednesday, October 14, and then we're required to stay until the following Monday for a post-op follow up to make sure I'm healthy.

That means we need to raise money for the expenses the go with both of us making the trip and the donation. According to our initial estimates, the cost will be around $3,000. 

So why is the goal $5,000? First, to give a little cushion, especially if there are any complications. Second, and more importantly, I'm hoping to also help Ken and Debra with any expenses they are going to incur that are not covered by insurance. They have to make the trip to New Orleans from out of state as well!

Would you consider becoming part of this story and helping me make the trip to give Ken my kidney?

Thanks for considering it. Now let's get this kidney out of me and into Ken!

(P.S. If there's any money left over after covering the expenses, we'll be donating it to the National Kidney Foundation and the American Kidney Fund.)