Grabowski Family
Donation protected
On September 8,2020 Mary was taken to the Emergency Room for abdomen pain, this is where our journey started. After several tests, scans and x-rays it was determined that she needed emergency surgery and was transported to Portsmouth Regional Hospital. It was there that we learned she had a collapsed lung, swollen and perforated bowel that was pinching off one of her kidneys and about 2 liters of fluid in her chest. Dumbfounded to say the least. Mary was taken for surgery, due to COVID I was sent home to wait, hope and pray that my wife, best friend, and mother of my children would be ok. The surgeon finally called in the early hours of September 9th to inform me that the surgery went as well as it could, but while making all the repairs he found a blockage in the bowel and cysts in her abdomen. He believed this to be cancer, but obviously needed to confirm with a biopsy and we needed to wait for results of pathology. Mary would remain in the hospital to recover from the surgery, about a week after surgery our life blew up. Cancer was confirmed, and it was Stage IV.
A woman that never took a drink, never took a drug, lived a clean and healthy life was just diagnosed with stage IV cancer...what the hell?! I immediately started to cry, but my love told me to stop, that she needed me to be positive to be her rock, as she had been for me for 30+ plus years. We both agreed we would do whatever it took to beat this beast. Mary remained in the hospital for 16 days, needed a chest tube placed to continue to drain fluid from her chest and would need nursing care at home. Mary came home on September 25 into the care of her family and visiting nurses.
The following week was a whirlwind of doctor's appointments, follow ups and to speak with the Oncologist. The oncologist was confident that Mary could be treated with chemotherapy not to cure but extend her life. It was there we new our time together was a hell of a lot shorter than we ever imagined, but we both remained determined to do whatever it took for as long as we needed to. Mary had a PET Scan to hopefully determine the origin of the cancer and to see how far it had spread. On October 8th the oncologist reveled that the cancer did originate in her small intestine, but the scan showed massive spreading into the abdomen, chest cavity and to her bones. No Words! We gathered with our family and told them the results and the plan moving forward with her chemo treatment plan.
Mary started Chemo on October 19th, a three and a half hour treatment and came home with a chemo pump that was supposed to be for 2 days....but we never got there. Mary woke up in the early morning of October 20th saying that she needed to go to the bathroom. I prepared the bathroom, got her the walker to help stabilize her, my wife, my love took 2 steps and collapsed into my arms. She was soaked with sweat, breathing hard and heart was beating out of he chest.
I called the doctor, they said get her to the ER, called 911 and the ambulance took her to the ER. Once again tests, scans and x-rays. They struggled to draw blood as her veins we non existent. I could feel in my heart we were in for a fight. Scans in the ER reveled air in her bowel again and needed surgery again. Transported back to the hospital for surgery. Once again in the hospital ER they unable to find veins to do blood draws. The surgeon came in and took me aside, it is now that I am most frightened. He told me that he didn't believe that surgery could save her, and that if we went ahead with surgery she would have maybe a 50/50 chance of waking up. Her heart was weak, her breathing labored. Our other option was to not do surgery, surround her as best we could and let her pass on her terms. I asked him how long she had......24 hours if we were lucky. I consulted the family, we were in agreement that we said whatever it took, we were going for surgery and notified the surgeon. Mary was sent to ICU in the meantime, family around her waiting for her to go to surgery. As we waited we could see her condition continue to deteriorate. Her heart rate high but blood pressure very low, continued to breathe irregular and labored.
The surgeon returned, knowing her condition he gave us an update along with Mary so that she knew exactly what was going on. 5%. Based on her condition he gave her 5% chance of ever waking up if we went ahead with surgery and not having the time to spend with family in her final hours. 5%! Mary decided that she did not want the surgery, wanted the most time she could have with me her sons, and family. I stayed by her side to the very end never leaving her alone. Mary passed peacefully October 22 at 6am.
Now that her story his told, we never were prepared for any of this, while heath insurance has covered most of her medical expenses, there are still deductibles, and out of pocket expenses that need to be covered. Every little bit helps and we are so appreciative of the love and support Mary has been shown, we are blown away by the amount of people who have reached out to let us know how she affected their lives.
Thank you for your support,
The Family of Mary Grabowski
A woman that never took a drink, never took a drug, lived a clean and healthy life was just diagnosed with stage IV cancer...what the hell?! I immediately started to cry, but my love told me to stop, that she needed me to be positive to be her rock, as she had been for me for 30+ plus years. We both agreed we would do whatever it took to beat this beast. Mary remained in the hospital for 16 days, needed a chest tube placed to continue to drain fluid from her chest and would need nursing care at home. Mary came home on September 25 into the care of her family and visiting nurses.
The following week was a whirlwind of doctor's appointments, follow ups and to speak with the Oncologist. The oncologist was confident that Mary could be treated with chemotherapy not to cure but extend her life. It was there we new our time together was a hell of a lot shorter than we ever imagined, but we both remained determined to do whatever it took for as long as we needed to. Mary had a PET Scan to hopefully determine the origin of the cancer and to see how far it had spread. On October 8th the oncologist reveled that the cancer did originate in her small intestine, but the scan showed massive spreading into the abdomen, chest cavity and to her bones. No Words! We gathered with our family and told them the results and the plan moving forward with her chemo treatment plan.
Mary started Chemo on October 19th, a three and a half hour treatment and came home with a chemo pump that was supposed to be for 2 days....but we never got there. Mary woke up in the early morning of October 20th saying that she needed to go to the bathroom. I prepared the bathroom, got her the walker to help stabilize her, my wife, my love took 2 steps and collapsed into my arms. She was soaked with sweat, breathing hard and heart was beating out of he chest.
I called the doctor, they said get her to the ER, called 911 and the ambulance took her to the ER. Once again tests, scans and x-rays. They struggled to draw blood as her veins we non existent. I could feel in my heart we were in for a fight. Scans in the ER reveled air in her bowel again and needed surgery again. Transported back to the hospital for surgery. Once again in the hospital ER they unable to find veins to do blood draws. The surgeon came in and took me aside, it is now that I am most frightened. He told me that he didn't believe that surgery could save her, and that if we went ahead with surgery she would have maybe a 50/50 chance of waking up. Her heart was weak, her breathing labored. Our other option was to not do surgery, surround her as best we could and let her pass on her terms. I asked him how long she had......24 hours if we were lucky. I consulted the family, we were in agreement that we said whatever it took, we were going for surgery and notified the surgeon. Mary was sent to ICU in the meantime, family around her waiting for her to go to surgery. As we waited we could see her condition continue to deteriorate. Her heart rate high but blood pressure very low, continued to breathe irregular and labored.
The surgeon returned, knowing her condition he gave us an update along with Mary so that she knew exactly what was going on. 5%. Based on her condition he gave her 5% chance of ever waking up if we went ahead with surgery and not having the time to spend with family in her final hours. 5%! Mary decided that she did not want the surgery, wanted the most time she could have with me her sons, and family. I stayed by her side to the very end never leaving her alone. Mary passed peacefully October 22 at 6am.
Now that her story his told, we never were prepared for any of this, while heath insurance has covered most of her medical expenses, there are still deductibles, and out of pocket expenses that need to be covered. Every little bit helps and we are so appreciative of the love and support Mary has been shown, we are blown away by the amount of people who have reached out to let us know how she affected their lives.
Thank you for your support,
The Family of Mary Grabowski
Organizer
Dave Grabowski
Organizer
Seabrook, NH