Grace's #ICAN Cancer Recovery Fund
Doação protegida
Hey guys, my name’s Grace, some of you may know me as Gigi. It has taken me ages to write this, I guess the realisation of actually having to ask for help in this manner is super tough. Anyone who knows me, knows how self sufficient + independent I am so finding myself here, having to ask people (many of whom are strangers) for help is weird but I’m also learning throughout these challenging time’s that you have to not only be able to ask for help but receive it too, so here we are.
Summer 2017, I went to the hospital to check the status of my gut. I had been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in 2005 and had been on a cocktail of prescription drugs for years, until making the decision to stop taking them and remove myself from the Gastro clinics care, as I progressively had gotten worse - some days not being able to walk, other days my legs would cease up whilst driving.
I wanted a colonoscopy or MRI to see if the years I had been more attentive to my diet had paid off and yup, it did...the inflammation in my gut was minimal and the Arthritis you sometimes get from having Crohn’s (25-30% of people with Crohn’s disease develop Arthralgia/Arthritis ) was getting better. Overall, my health had improved. I had felt a lot better from the dietary changes and supplements than I did during any stage when I was on the cocktail of prescription drugs.
Although the Crohn’s and Arthritis status was good, there was cause for concern in my kidney, so I had an ultrasound and less than a week later, the doctor was telling me (alongside a student trainee) that he thought it was Cancer. I was shocked, scared and felt pretty let down that he had called me in alone, without advising me to bring someone for support knowing the life-changing news he was about to give me.
My brain was too stimulated to cry, I had questions flying out of my mouth faster than I could think! But after I left, the thought of telling my family reduced me to tears. I recall receiving a hug from the girl at reception. She didn’t know what took place in the Dr’s room but she must have sensed it, and oh how I needed it, in hindsight and not being with any family members, that hug was everything!!! The walk through the park to my car had to be the longest 7-minute walk in history, I think it took me just under an hour.
I saw the doctor a week later, now he was proposing a radical nephrectomy (kidney removal) for the following week, Xmas 2017. It was all so fast, one week I was away having the time of my life and the next minute, I was fearing for my life. Just like that. Tbh, I couldn’t get my head around it. From the investigative questions I had asked, there was no way to be certain it was cancer, no test (like other cancers) just the scans and perhaps a biopsy which is known to come back as inconclusive not to mention that if it were cancer, a biopsy could encourage spread. I got a 2nd, 3rd and even a 4th opinion and although the doctors couldn’t be sure it was cancer, it seemed like the only other option was the kidney removal. I was gutted and the weight of what to do next was enormous. Do I take it out or risk living with it? On the one hand, it could be cancerous but on the other, I could have it removed and it could be nothing (I had read testimonials where that was the exact outcome) and it’s not as if they can just reverse the procedure, you know, put my kidney back in and off I go. It took me months to decide. Naturally, my family wanted me to do something, anything but I really needed more time to weigh everything up. How do you ask people who fortunately haven’t experienced cancer, what to do and who do you even ask for advice about having your kidney removed? The whole thing felt scary and insane at the same time. In the end, I joined a forum and spoke directly to people who have been and were in my shoes. Some had their kidneys removed several years ago and have lived to share their experience, others were just as devastated, scared and nervous like me. Their experiences really helped but I still wasn’t sure. By now, I had read day & night, night & day, falling asleep with books in my hands and had taken a closer look at my lifestyle and the things that could have a huge effect on my bodies ability to fight if it did indeed transpire to be cancer; trying everything that was reportedly cancer-fighting. I had even developed a cyst on my eye ball-apparently I wasn’t blinking enough and my eye had gotten super dry.
Eventually, some 5 months later, I decided to do it- radical nephrectomy, where they remove your whole kidney. I was soooo reluctant but I had waited long enough. One of the deciding factors was being honest with myself, how would I feel if I left it any longer and it spread, would I feel guilt, regret? The answer was yes, I knew I wouldn’t have been at peace with myself and I would have felt bad for my family so that was it, I knew what I’d have to do. Deep down though, I had really wanted to give the diet and supplementing more time, the Crohn’s had gotten better with diet and new-found knowledge so why couldn’t this help I thought. But time was ticking and some of you would be surprised to hear that there’s a LOT of pressure from doctors. On the morning of the 11th of June 2018, I had my right kidney removed, the surgery seemed to be a success, and I recovered well. We knew that along with that kidney tumour, there was a small shade in my left kidney that I was extremely concerned about but the doctors weren’t, their priority was the big tumour. I didn’t want to take my right kidney out knowing there was something we didn’t know on the left kidney, it seemed as though tackling the symptoms was more important than finding the root cause of the tumour but after the surgery, I was relieved as were my family members and friends. By then everything changed. I had stopped drinking alcohol and completely changed my diet leading up to the surgery and continued after, making great progress or so I thought.
In June 2019 after a year of scans and no major concerns, my scan showed that the lesion/tumour on my remaining left kidney had grown slightly. This was so disheartening. My heart literally sank and over the days that followed, I wasn’t really myself. I had wanted to start a family just before this whole episode started and this was the final piece of the jigsaw but unfortunately, it wasn’t the news I was desperately hoping for-adding even more stress of, would I ever be able to start a family of my own? By now I had tried the conventional way of removing my kidney and this time around the doctors have suggested to watch and wait. But I can’t live like this or wait any longer, I want to seek alternative treatment and I really need your help to continue to live my best life, with my family and close friends, to continue to compose music, write great songs, to experience life and be present in great health. I have found some holistic centres that provide advanced therapy for cancer with some great testimonials and results. I would love the opportunity to try out these routes along with what I’m currently doing from supplementing to diet changes & thinking thoughts of healing.
I know it’s hard when someone is going through something like this, many of us don’t know what to say or how to be useful so I’m asking you to please help me to recover and stand up to cancer. With an enormous desire to inspire through my recovery, I ask you for any donations please, however small it’ll make a massive difference in mine and my family’s lives. You can also help with stories/testimonials of others who have been victorious in their cancer journeys, links to recommended articles, tips, recipes of healing foods (I love cooking) we can even create some music (this is one of my joys and will help to keep me in good spirit, creative and feeling useful) but most importantly your moral support will be greatly appreciated. ♥️
As a token of gratitude for your donations, my music project ‘Almost Too Late’ will be available to anyone who would like the ep to download for free. It’s the only true way I can say thank you!
Life is crazy. As scary as this whole process has been, I’ve learned to really experience EVERYTHING no matter how big or small. I have made sure that I fully experience all experiences, including this. I think life can do this to you when you’re paying attention and aren’t on auto-pilot. We live in such a fast-paced society that sometimes we simply forget, forget that life isn’t guaranteed or that the person standing beside you could be dealing with more than the eyes can see and that traumas, food, environment and stress can have serious consequences on our health and occasionally, it takes life’s events to shock us...forcing us to see things from a different point of view.
Please help me hold onto my remaining kidney, stay with my family, continue to write amazing songs and experience the experiences of life.
Big love + smiles. Thank you!
Gx
Summer 2017, I went to the hospital to check the status of my gut. I had been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in 2005 and had been on a cocktail of prescription drugs for years, until making the decision to stop taking them and remove myself from the Gastro clinics care, as I progressively had gotten worse - some days not being able to walk, other days my legs would cease up whilst driving.
I wanted a colonoscopy or MRI to see if the years I had been more attentive to my diet had paid off and yup, it did...the inflammation in my gut was minimal and the Arthritis you sometimes get from having Crohn’s (25-30% of people with Crohn’s disease develop Arthralgia/Arthritis ) was getting better. Overall, my health had improved. I had felt a lot better from the dietary changes and supplements than I did during any stage when I was on the cocktail of prescription drugs.
Although the Crohn’s and Arthritis status was good, there was cause for concern in my kidney, so I had an ultrasound and less than a week later, the doctor was telling me (alongside a student trainee) that he thought it was Cancer. I was shocked, scared and felt pretty let down that he had called me in alone, without advising me to bring someone for support knowing the life-changing news he was about to give me.
My brain was too stimulated to cry, I had questions flying out of my mouth faster than I could think! But after I left, the thought of telling my family reduced me to tears. I recall receiving a hug from the girl at reception. She didn’t know what took place in the Dr’s room but she must have sensed it, and oh how I needed it, in hindsight and not being with any family members, that hug was everything!!! The walk through the park to my car had to be the longest 7-minute walk in history, I think it took me just under an hour.
I saw the doctor a week later, now he was proposing a radical nephrectomy (kidney removal) for the following week, Xmas 2017. It was all so fast, one week I was away having the time of my life and the next minute, I was fearing for my life. Just like that. Tbh, I couldn’t get my head around it. From the investigative questions I had asked, there was no way to be certain it was cancer, no test (like other cancers) just the scans and perhaps a biopsy which is known to come back as inconclusive not to mention that if it were cancer, a biopsy could encourage spread. I got a 2nd, 3rd and even a 4th opinion and although the doctors couldn’t be sure it was cancer, it seemed like the only other option was the kidney removal. I was gutted and the weight of what to do next was enormous. Do I take it out or risk living with it? On the one hand, it could be cancerous but on the other, I could have it removed and it could be nothing (I had read testimonials where that was the exact outcome) and it’s not as if they can just reverse the procedure, you know, put my kidney back in and off I go. It took me months to decide. Naturally, my family wanted me to do something, anything but I really needed more time to weigh everything up. How do you ask people who fortunately haven’t experienced cancer, what to do and who do you even ask for advice about having your kidney removed? The whole thing felt scary and insane at the same time. In the end, I joined a forum and spoke directly to people who have been and were in my shoes. Some had their kidneys removed several years ago and have lived to share their experience, others were just as devastated, scared and nervous like me. Their experiences really helped but I still wasn’t sure. By now, I had read day & night, night & day, falling asleep with books in my hands and had taken a closer look at my lifestyle and the things that could have a huge effect on my bodies ability to fight if it did indeed transpire to be cancer; trying everything that was reportedly cancer-fighting. I had even developed a cyst on my eye ball-apparently I wasn’t blinking enough and my eye had gotten super dry.
Eventually, some 5 months later, I decided to do it- radical nephrectomy, where they remove your whole kidney. I was soooo reluctant but I had waited long enough. One of the deciding factors was being honest with myself, how would I feel if I left it any longer and it spread, would I feel guilt, regret? The answer was yes, I knew I wouldn’t have been at peace with myself and I would have felt bad for my family so that was it, I knew what I’d have to do. Deep down though, I had really wanted to give the diet and supplementing more time, the Crohn’s had gotten better with diet and new-found knowledge so why couldn’t this help I thought. But time was ticking and some of you would be surprised to hear that there’s a LOT of pressure from doctors. On the morning of the 11th of June 2018, I had my right kidney removed, the surgery seemed to be a success, and I recovered well. We knew that along with that kidney tumour, there was a small shade in my left kidney that I was extremely concerned about but the doctors weren’t, their priority was the big tumour. I didn’t want to take my right kidney out knowing there was something we didn’t know on the left kidney, it seemed as though tackling the symptoms was more important than finding the root cause of the tumour but after the surgery, I was relieved as were my family members and friends. By then everything changed. I had stopped drinking alcohol and completely changed my diet leading up to the surgery and continued after, making great progress or so I thought.
In June 2019 after a year of scans and no major concerns, my scan showed that the lesion/tumour on my remaining left kidney had grown slightly. This was so disheartening. My heart literally sank and over the days that followed, I wasn’t really myself. I had wanted to start a family just before this whole episode started and this was the final piece of the jigsaw but unfortunately, it wasn’t the news I was desperately hoping for-adding even more stress of, would I ever be able to start a family of my own? By now I had tried the conventional way of removing my kidney and this time around the doctors have suggested to watch and wait. But I can’t live like this or wait any longer, I want to seek alternative treatment and I really need your help to continue to live my best life, with my family and close friends, to continue to compose music, write great songs, to experience life and be present in great health. I have found some holistic centres that provide advanced therapy for cancer with some great testimonials and results. I would love the opportunity to try out these routes along with what I’m currently doing from supplementing to diet changes & thinking thoughts of healing.
I know it’s hard when someone is going through something like this, many of us don’t know what to say or how to be useful so I’m asking you to please help me to recover and stand up to cancer. With an enormous desire to inspire through my recovery, I ask you for any donations please, however small it’ll make a massive difference in mine and my family’s lives. You can also help with stories/testimonials of others who have been victorious in their cancer journeys, links to recommended articles, tips, recipes of healing foods (I love cooking) we can even create some music (this is one of my joys and will help to keep me in good spirit, creative and feeling useful) but most importantly your moral support will be greatly appreciated. ♥️
As a token of gratitude for your donations, my music project ‘Almost Too Late’ will be available to anyone who would like the ep to download for free. It’s the only true way I can say thank you!
Life is crazy. As scary as this whole process has been, I’ve learned to really experience EVERYTHING no matter how big or small. I have made sure that I fully experience all experiences, including this. I think life can do this to you when you’re paying attention and aren’t on auto-pilot. We live in such a fast-paced society that sometimes we simply forget, forget that life isn’t guaranteed or that the person standing beside you could be dealing with more than the eyes can see and that traumas, food, environment and stress can have serious consequences on our health and occasionally, it takes life’s events to shock us...forcing us to see things from a different point of view.
Please help me hold onto my remaining kidney, stay with my family, continue to write amazing songs and experience the experiences of life.
Big love + smiles. Thank you!
Gx
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G O
Organizador