ARTIST WITH BRAIN INJURY RAISES MONEY TO VISIT SICK GRANDMA

#grandmasickinlaos

June 2024 GoFundMe Update:

My grandmother is doing better and being cared for in her village. I also have been accepted into internship (codesigning camp programs) for at risk youth that begins in a couple months which will be for the rest of the year. My savings which has been used towards my living expenses was meant for finishing my first album and going to Laos this year to see my grandmother for the first time. I have been unemployed due to my past brain injury being triggered by my ear-surgery (last year), so I applied for SSDI after professional advisory. Focusing 100% on my brain injury based trauma, I began attending weekly group therapy sessions, bi-weekly one on one therapy appointments, joining men circles, attending wellness groups, doing mental health related assignments, changing my diet, seeing my loved ones more, and giving complete attention to my overall healing. On top of that I have been working on releasing my audiobook, audio-biography and my EP Album. As an artist, being able to finally give these projects attention has also been a huge part of my healing and holistic well being. While waiting for my SSDI (long term disability support) decision, the financial support will help me be secured as I prepare for the next couple of months transitioning into the internship.

With that said, I am pushing to reach my GoFundMe goal to primarily secure a trip to Laos after completing my six-month internship and go see my grandmother for the first time in my life. I am her oldest grandson and stepping up to care for her will be a huge generational victory since my mother and her been separated in the 1980s when my mother came to America while my grandmother stayed behind. The internship I have been accepted into focuses on connecting california native youth & inner city youth back to the land. I feel that me connecting back with my grandmother and Laos is 100% related to this great opportunity where I will be able to share this story hopefully to inspire others especially the youth. Please take the time to share my GoFundMe, my story and contribute. I don’t know when I’ll leave this life, so I hope before I do my narrative tells that with the support of the community, and dedication: I returned to Laos to meet-care for my grandmother, championed my mental health wellness, reached my album releasing goal, and moved on to make a difference in the world while being a full-time Creative Artist.

January 2024 GoFundMe Post:

My name is Artoso. I have been planning to go visit my grandmother for the very first time in Laos this year. My mother called me and said she was found fainted in her village & my heart went cold. She has gotten sick, and I want to begin dedicating as much of my time each year to travel to Laos to take care of her. One stream of income in order to be able to that was through becoming a successful performative musical artist. I have been saving up to put money towards the plane tickets, and my singles (which includes buying beats, mixing and mastering down, promotion, video, etc). But for the past 7 months (late June 2023-present) I have been severely struggling with my mental health. When I was 14 years old, I shot myself in the head with a .45 caliber and survived. I still remember the doctors, my social worker and nurses telling me that I was a miracle. At that point of my life I felt I didn’t have a reason to live, being placed in group homes eventually becoming homeless on the streets all throughout middle school and early highschool. When I shot myself, the noise of the .45 caliber pierced my eardrum. 18 years later I was finally able to land a full time job with medical benefits to cover most of the expensive cost of ear surgery. Due to my eardrum being punctured, there is a high chance of getting a fatal ear infection if water was to get inside, so I couldn’t swim for the past 18 years for example. I was excited that my right ear’s hearing would improve and I would finally be able to go underwater.

Unfortunately, getting this ear surgery actually backfired on me. During the two weeks off, I was intensely triggered to the point that somedays I didn’t realize that I haven’t eaten all day. Bothered by nightmares and unable to endure the effect it had on my mental health, I completely shutdown. I wasn’t the same when returning to work. I didn’t know how to tell my coworkers or supervisor what I was going through. Just the same when I was 14 years old. I felt the world would judge me for my passive mental health disorders inherited from my suicidal attempt of shooting myself in the head. I was able to function and keep this incident to myself navigating through my life, emancipated foster care and attending college. I got used to my isolation, and having my own secure housing from being a former foster youth in college helped. I went all these years without any proper treatment and wasn’t able to retain consistent therapy. After being on a waiting list over 10 years, I was finally able to get an assigned counselor last year (2023) through a program that works with former foster youth at any age. My performance at my job was affected by my mental health and I would be unable to work, cutting off my health insurance and overall income. Being without a job intensified my mental health breakdown.

I was told by my counselor (who is a full time therapist) and a SSDI lawyer that I need to be on long term disability. With my pride, I didn’t like the sound of that. I worked my whole life. Even today, at my worst state, I am doing my best to help others, show for up others, be in good spirits and appear okay. I submerse myself in my music when I am finally able to get out of my mental health funk. But it dawned on me that they’re right, I need to focus on my mental health healing as my priority. All I want is just to be happy, do my art/music, be able to raise a family and grow old. I finally have a therapist who I see every other week, have started weekly group therapy, and have been searching for more mental health services that I am able to access. I am trying the medications prescribed by my psychiatrist & with the money I do have, trying out herbal approaches and holistic approaches (which can be expensive). I have also started my SSDI process which can take up to 6 months or more. I need support to keep my head above water while I wait for my SSDI to pull through. For these past 7 months, I lost all my savings I had towards going to Laos and my music goals. All my savings went towards my living expenses/bills/etc. I am reaching out to the world, community organizations, grant donors, and my community asking for financial support to help secure the cost of any and all mental health/medical related expenses while sustaining my basic living needs; help launch my music career so that I can put out my singles/buy beats/music video expenses/mastering expenses/etc; and most importantly help secure my trip to Laos to finally see my grandmother for the first time where I will be able to care for her & spend my first moments with her.

$15,000 Budget:

$5,000: Visiting My Grandma in Laos for the 1st time

- plane tickets/round trip

- supporting grandma’s medical bills

- supporting grandma with everything she needs while on my visit (housing costs, foods, etc)

$5,000: Living expenses, Mental Health/Medical expenses

- living expenses

- mental health in person groups

- holistic approaches to mental health healing

- medical expenses/surgery cost

$5,000: Releasing my EP Album (working on finishing album)

- purchasing beats exclusively for my singles

- music video production

- mixing and mastering

- any promotional costs