Grief as a child - losing a loved one to suicide

Hi everyone, I'm hoping to raise money for a wonderful charity known as Winston's Wish - an incredible organisation in the UK that provides support to grieving children and families. Personally, Winston's Wish helped me and my family through the most difficult time of our lives, and so I would love to be able to raise some money for them so that they can continue to help other families through their tough times of grief.

Disclaimer: Some may find the writing below difficult to read as it includes the sensitive topics of mental health and suicide.

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My story:

When I was 12 my mum unexpectedly took her own life. I'm sure if something like this hasn't happened to you, then it may seem unfathomable. However, this is the difficulty with mental health and suicide, you can't always see it coming. My family and I were living a very happy life, and then suddenly, we lost my beautiful mum. Before I tell you a bit about my own experience, I urge you to always be there for those around you, no matter how big or small the problem may seem. Also, show gratitude to your loved ones. Even if your parents, siblings, children, etc are 'annoying' you by hogging the Netflix account, you DO still love them as they are your family, despite the words exchanged over the dinner table that evening. Let them know you love them. Sometimes you don't realise how special someone is until they're gone, and by then it's too late to tell them how much they mean to you.

My mum was my hero; a smiling, beautiful, and kind-hearted woman, who was there for me no matter what. Someone that made me Spongebob cakes on my birthday, took me to see my favourite movies (despite probably being very annoying to sit through as an adult), and she always told me to have a positive mental attitude ('PMA' she would call it - I remember waking up on sports day and being extremely nervous, but my mum saying have PMA and you can do it). This was who my mum was to me, but she was also a wife, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, colleague, etc. When someone takes their own life, it leaves so many people behind; each who experiences anguish and denial. So, from the perspective of someone that has lost a loved one to suicide, I urge you to do two simple things which can make a huge difference in other's lives (1. reach out to those in need, 2. be thankful, show gratitude, and tell those around you that you love them).

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Winston's Wish:

As I said at the top of this post, I am wanting to raise money for Winston's Wish, a charity that has honestly been amazing to me and my family. After losing my mum, Winston's Wish provided my family with bereavement services that allowed us to come together as a family and begin the healing process. Honestly, I am so grateful for the support they gave us, and in particular, I would like to say a huge thank you to Dom and Ross who would visit us and see how we were coping. All funds I raise from this post will be donated to Winston's Wish so that they can continue supporting individuals and families dealing with the loss of a loved one.

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In honour of my mum:

I will also be getting a tattoo of an angel to symbolise what my mum is to me. I will be funding this fully by myself, but it would be absolutely awesome if we could hit a fundraiser target that equals how much I will pay for the tattoo (approx 1300GBP). I will document any updates I have re. the tattoo on this post, and will be sure to show the final result here too.

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Finally, I want to say a huge thank you to anyone who has read this post. I hope that you have found something in my story and that you can understand the importance of being there for those around you, and showing gratitude. If any of you are struggling with mental health issues, please remember - it will not hurt someone else's feelings if you open up to them and tell them about your struggles. It will however hurt that person if one day you aren't there anymore, and they're wondering what they could have done to help.

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Further information about Winston’s Wish and how they will use your donation:

Winston’s Wish was the UK’s first childhood bereavement charity and have been supporting children and young people since 1992. Every day, 100 children are bereaved of a mum or dad in the UK. The death of a parent or sibling is one of the most traumatic situations for a child, but Winston’s Wish can help them face the future with hope. They provide emotional and practical bereavement support to children, young people and those who care for them. 

 £10: Could enable Winston’s Wish to provide one child with a memory box that can be used to store treasured objects, helping them to remember their loved one in a way that is personal to them. 

£20: Could cover the cost of operating their website for one day, including Help2MakeSense, a support forum for bereaved young people. 

£30: Could provide one child with all of the tools and materials they need to participate in a programme of virtual support with one of Winston’s Wish professional practitioners.