Surgery for PajYeeb

Hello Beautiful Flowers, It’s me the only PajYeeb Muas. First and foremost, I want to say I’m completely sorry. Today isn’t about being funny, but today it will be about my struggles, battles and what I have been going through with life. I have made this Gofundme for all the beautiful flowers that wanted to donate.

Today, I will be setting up this Gofundme to help fund for all my upcoming medical expenses as I continue on this long journey of healing, self care and getting better. First and foremost, I want to thank those of you who have already donated. Your kindness and support  means the world so much to me.❤️

If you didn’t know, I have been battling a lot of health conditions since I was a child at the age of 6. I was told by many doctors, surgeons and therapists that as I age, my conditions would improve and I would not notice anything at all. With that being said, life decides throws unimaginable things at me; a being whose only desires is to bring, share, give and spread kindness, smiles, laughters, happiness, love and friendship to everyone who comes into PajYeebs and my life and adventures.

Today, I’m slowly dying.

I’m diagnosed with Muscle Dysfunction, Severe Muscles Ligaments Tendon Leg Paralysis, nonfunctional nerves in my right leg and nerve damage/deterioration; leg and joint pain, High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol, blood vomiting, unconditional internal bleeding, arthritis and Diabetes.

I’m having symptoms of organ failure, vision lost, at high risk for cancer, stroke (happened), heart attack and heart failure/disease; joint deteriorating, kidney damage and possibly liver failure.

Since the age of 6, I have been hospitalized and undergo dozens of surgeries on my right leg due to an accident. At the age of 7, I was mentally and physically abused by peers and my older brothers. At the age of 8, I was harassed, jumped and beat up for being asian. At the age of 10 I was bullied by my classmate peers and pushed; causing me to fall on a scissor that butchered my face and cut open my whole chin. At age 16, I lost my partner to a homicide. At age 17 I finally made some friends; but was humiliated, locked up, used, bullied, destroyed and stabbed. At age 18, I attempted suicide. At age 22, due to my imbalance legs and muscle dysfunction; I slipped and broke both Tibia and Fibula bones in right leg where I undergo multiple surgery on. At the age of 23, I lost my mom and attempted suicide again. Soon after losing my mom, I started to show signs of organ failure, early start of nonstop vomiting blood and uncontrollable internal bleeding. At the age of 25, I lost my dad. At age 26, I had my first stroke. Today I’m 30 years old. I recently had another stroke and have just lost my beautiful Tais. 

As I live life, I thought things would only get better and better for me. But I was wrong, so wrong. With all the trauma I been through. Life decides to attack my health. I have been hospitalized the past years nonstop because of uprising health issues.

Ever since being hospitalized at age 6, I have continually high blood pressure, leg/joint pain, joint/bone deterioration until this very day. Ever since I lost both my parents, I had used PajYeeb to cope for 7 years and it has taken a toll on me physically and mentally. I didn’t allow myself to heal but burrow the pain and sadness deep. I went on to give and give at no limit, and never thought about myself because I never wanted anyone to feel how I feel. I never wanted anyone to go through what I went through in my life. I just brushed under and ignored all my health conditions. I became the laughters, the smiles and the life. I promised myself, if I can make one person smile; and only one person per day. I have defeated life. I can died happily knowing I left a smile one someone’s face. Today, I have touched hundreds of souls with my kindness and I’m not afraid to died.

Today, my energy is slowly fading.

To be honest and truthful I’m ready to join both my beloved parents, both my grandparents, my cousin that lost to cancer, a close good friend Xyy, Elders who I build strong bonds with, my tais tais, all my pets and my especially partner who was brutally shot to death 12 years ago.

I live with a broken heart, I live with a broken leg, dozens and dozens of scratched up scars on that leg, two uneven legs, wears two different shoe sizes, a permanent scar on my chin, multiple health issues and all the above pain, limitations, physical disability and dysfunctions all my life.

Even after all this, no one truly knew about PajYeeb or me. No one knows how deep I hide myself while only showing the whole world a smile.

At this very moment, I’m currently on pain medications for the rest of my life, 4-6 different High Blood Pressure Medications, antibiotics, multiple medications for stroke and is required to meet with my doctor on a monthly basis. I have been omitted to the Emergency Room Multiple times due to having multiple strokes, internal bleeding and sever tendon infection where I broke my leg recently in the past 3 years. Because of my Medications and drastic blood lost, I have severe fainting, liver damage and unpredictable vertigo.

Because of my surgeries since 6, my body is no longer itself. I’m no longer as normal as any child or person out there. Through out my childhood years, my body has drastically changed. I was mentally and physically bullied by older siblings and bullies at school. I was constantly in a wheelchair and bed bound. I’ve been mocked, humiliated, stabbed, used and destroyed.

Because of my immobility, pain and limitations; the weights just keep on packing on no matter what I do. Portion control, exercise, physical therapy, weight lost drugs, eating healthy, dieting, starvation and overwork. After I lost my mom, I my internal bleeding begin to start along with blood vomiting. I would bleed once every few months, but 7 years later. I been have nonstop internal bleeding on a weekly basis. This blood lost would cause me to faint, become so weak and experience bad vertigo. My body would fight it self internally causing my blood to spike, panting and sick to my stomach. Taking 4-7 kinds of medications only makes things worst as the side effects eats me up. My right leg no longer function correctly now. A crook foot thats 1 size and a half smaller than my normal left leg. I would get severe pain and throttling non stop. There are days my whole right leg would go numb and stay paralyzed. With a broken Tibia and Fibula that’s bearly holding my bones in tact at 20%. I’m afraid to do anything. If I slip and break my right leg again. My whole right leg will be amputate. I have been warn my surgeons and doctors along with my primary care physician.  

All my life I have always been the lone wolf, the black sheep of the family. Neglected, humiliated, assaulted, harassed, abused, mentally and physically destroyed. Today, I live with mental issues, anxiety and trauma. I been mentally and physically destroyed inside out since 6. 

I am dying.

This year, my body hasn’t been itself. I have been calling off work so much due to being so ill. I have met with my Primary doctor all year long and the news isn’t something I can laugh about anymore. My body is deteriorating as I write. I can feel my energy fading day by day. But, I know I can’t stop here. I know that my story and adventures as myself and PajYeeb shouldn’t just end here this easily. I have so much to do and my work isn’t done just yet. There’s more people who deserves to smiles, there’s more people who needs their heart touched, there’s more young folks who needs guidance and support and there’s more lives that needs to be saved. Kindness shouldn’t just end here and I refuse to died without a fight.

This is why I’m fighting! I’m not willing to break my younger siblings hearts, I’m not willing to bring sad news to 30,000 of my beautiful flowers, I’m not willing to let down peoples lives who I have saved and I’m not willing to died without fighting with every last energy I have left.

Surgery I will be seeking:

1. Bariatric Surgery

2. Internal Bone Fracture Repair Surgery

3. Intestine Repair, blood transfusion and ulcers removal.

At this moment, I’m seeking consultation for weight lost surgery first; to help ease some of the health conditions I’m enduring at the moment. Today, I’m in need of your help and support my beautiful flowers. I’m asking for financial help and a word of kindness to keep me positive through this intense journey. All Funds being collected, raised and all monetary profits from my plushies will go towards my surgery, medical bills, travels and in giving back to my beautiful flowers. This weight lost surgery is only the beginning. I’m targeting my internal bleeding, leg damage, and organs next. I’m praying that this surgery can help reverse half of my health conditions and allow me to live a bit longer with everyone I love.

I wish that I was lazy.

I work within my beautiful school district working as an Instructional Assistant, Intervention Teacher, Campus Safety Team, Homework Club Coordinator, Academic AVID Mentor/ Tutor, G.A.T.E.S Program Educator while also being Peter and PajYeebMuas.

Some people would say that I’m lazy. I wish that it was the case. I wish that I can be lazy like they all said. Ever since I was a kid. I never stop giving, working and go go til this day. If you truly have follow me and learn to understand the deep reasons behind this character and the beautiful being who gives behind this character. You would truly understand that never once in my life was I ever lazy, I have volunteered over thousands of community service hours for my beautiful Communities throughout the States especially towards my beautiful Hmong Community.

Because of my limitations and limited immobility. I couldn’t do as much as I wanted, yet that didn’t stop me for achieving what I’ve accomplished today. I really wish that it was me who let myself go. Remember this, no one is born with a perfect body. Not everyone is gifted. We all comes in different shapes and sizes. Sickness has no discrimination! Food was never my issue and food was never something I turned too; it was my body and medications. If you ever had a meal with me, and if you ever walked in my shoes, you truly would see and understand why.

Going through so much, it has never stopped me from giving unconditionally to many people I have encountered within my home, schools and communities. I don’t think anyone would ever be able to survive a day in my shoes. I’ve been robbed from my childhood, health, money, job and life. Yet I’m still here fighting. I hope you didn’t come here to bully, judge and harass a kind soul who just want to continue to give back. Please before you judge, please do think before you say anything. Words do find it’s way back and I do not wish anyone to ever have to go through what I had to go through in my lifetime.

I’m fighting for my life, and I pray that many who knows and don’t know me realize and understand where I stand. If I don’t do it now. I don’t have much time to enjoy more beautiful adventures with my beautiful flowers. My doctors have already spoken. I have been working hard and nonstop. I haven’t rest at all. It’s time I make this decision to live just a bit longer and enjoy life just a bit more with all you, my beautiful flowers. I look forward to all the kind love and support from all my beautiful flowers. You all will be apart of this journey! I am me, because I have you all.❤️

I; PajYeeb Muas, thank all my beautiful flowers who have donated and help purchased/preorder a plushie from me. It means the world to me knowing I have such amazing, loving, caring and supportive flowers.

If you would like to purchase T-Shirts to support my me on my medical journey, I will also provide links to my tshirt shop on Teespring.

PajYeeb Tshirt Link:

PogRog T-Shirts

 https://teespring.com/stores/pog-rog-t-shirt-shop 

PajYeebMuas T-Shirts

 https://teespring.com/stores/pajyeebmuas-mini-t-shirt-shop?page=1 

With much Love,

PajYeeb Muas

If you would like to donate through PayPal or Vemo. Links will be also provided below.

Venmo: @pmoua3

PayPal: 

@pajyeebmoua 

@petermuas92 

If you also would like, you can read all my stories on my Facebook Page for more background and information.