Rev. Ham Chan (Memorial Fundraising)

Dear family and friends, we love you and thank you for being part of our journey. In advance, we want to thank you deeply for the outpouring of love from words, presence, calls, texts, etc. We also thank you in advance for your financial contribution.

Mom and Dad were the ultimate pair! Well, at least in their children's eyes. However, many who'd come to know them would agree. It was clear that Sound and Ham Chan lived a life of excellence and great kindness through Christ's strength and grace. At God's appointed time:

Sadly, Mom went home to be with our Lord, on April 10, 2023, on a Monday, leaving him with such sadness and sorrow for they were married for 58 years in May of 2023!

Otherwise, in good physical health, he lived through what could be described as stage 6 Dementia. Days leading up to his homegoing, Dad asked countless times to “go home…”

On Monday, November 11th Dad, in peaceful sleep, laid down and went into eternal rest without pain, sickness, or struggle.

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For the further stories, read on.

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In the week leading up to his passing, Dad asked several times daily to go home, and home was expressed as "Fresno", "to one of his children's home", "near the gravesite of his wife," or "near Mom". On Friday, he asked nearly thirty times "to go home.” On Saturday, he asked nearly ten times “to go home.” On this day, he had the company of his eldest son, Hany, and his wife, Tammy, visiting from Oakland. Before they set off back home: Dad seemed to bounce out of his seat, wrapping his arms around Hany and Tammy; he declared that he'd like to pray for them. Dad’s speech held the familiar boom & authority that I remembered in my youth and before Dad’s dementia.

Further, on Sunday, Dad participated in celebrating his grandson’s 5th birthday. With large mouthy smiles, he played "Keepy Uppy" tossing the balloon into the air trying not to let it hit the ground. Dad blew the birthday kazoo for a good part of the party, held a joyous grin throughout the afternoon, and lastly, with assistance, he rode the kid’s power wheel quad for several loops at turtle speed. He had a great send-off!

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A few things I wanted to share about Dad is who he was…

He was commonly known as Lokru (teacher, in Khmer). Dad fit many roles as husband, dad, uncle, father-in-law, brother, pastor, mentor, friend, and a sounding board... until 2003 when he retired from his role as Reverend starting Stage 1 Dementia. In 2003, they moved in with one of his older sons, Sarepta, and his family moving from Long Beach, CA to Fresno, CA.

Dad’s cognitive health went from stage 1 to 5 over the 20 years. When Mom passed, his decline was uncovered and transparent. The decline of what was 20 years was revealed in these final 20 months. Mom executed a multitude of care for Dad; all his meals, carrying out hygiene and dressing, and assistance with walking, moving, etc.

For Dad: grieving while struggling with dementia was compounding. Dad’s agency and capabilities decreased; He could not see well, hear, read, remember well, study, watch TV, etc. To onlookers, most of Dad was in good health yet his dementia caused things to crawl to a slow pace. Dad’s begging of "going home" which was louder and more frequent in the last days was finally lulled into sleep. He went home without struggle, pain, or sickness. Like Mom on a Monday, as well in his sleep like she…he entered Heaven.

Friends and family, Dad is whole, with a new body, and a new name; Dad is home.

Praise Jesus.

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Wow, you've stayed with us through all that writing! Thanks again. We love you.