Hard-working Single Mom Complete Social Work Program

Hello,

My name is Ashley DeNardo. I am a Mountaineer through and through. I attended WVU as an undergraduate student earning a BS in Journalism with a minor in history and a BA in Sociology and Anthropology. I earned a 3.55 GPA, served on countless committees, and worked 3 jobs to pay for rent, food, etc. At the advice of my high school counselors and American culture, I racked up thousands upon thousands in student loan debt and graduated into a world that did not care about my degrees. I didn't opt to go straight into graduate school because I was burned out and in unreasonable debt. This was 2012-2016, and I had no idea where life would take me after this.

With my two bachelor's degrees, I landed a job at Dick's Sporting Goods as a cashier. I received no other callbacks. I felt defeated. I decided I would teach ESL and prepare to go to the Peace Corps. This gave me hope.

Then, I met the man who would become my husband. As I moved in with him one county over, I left my job at Dick's, and I stopped teaching ESL. I opted instead to do some online courses with I-to-I TEFL and still held onto a dream that maybe one day I would travel and help the world in the Peace Corps. My partner told me it was too far to drive to the literacy school, and I was wasting time and money. Since he made more money than me, I submitted. He told me I could find a job closer to my new home. I worked at Staples and then for 3 years at a startup tech company that performs lien searches. I moved up in rank there and I felt like great success was in store for me.

Then, the pandemic happened. Everything changed. This was Florida, so during the pandemic, I had to choose between coming into the office and being demoted or let go. I had just found out I was pregnant, and it was unexpected due to questionable fertility, but we had been trying. I wanted to protect my child and my body more than anything, so I chose to be demoted so I could stay home but not completely lose my contribution to the finances. Once my son was born, I kept at it, working from home while also now taking care of a newborn baby, keeping the house clean, cooking dinner, and serving my church.

When my son turned 3 months old, I also gained temporary custody of my husband's 3-year-old son from a previous short-term relationship. I added it to my pile with no questions asked. I did everything in the interest of the children. I ended up leaving my corporate job to be a stay-at-home mother as there was a waitlist for childcare for the new addition to our family and he needed extra love and attention due to trauma he experienced. This was my first true experience with the child welfare system. The system made our lives hell, and we were the ones they asked for help from. I can't imagine how horrible it is to deal with them on the other side of things. Completely incompetent with no problem with turning families' lives upside down.

By the time my stepson was reunified with his mother, I had cultivated a good co-parenting relationship with her, to the dismay of my husband. I am the bad guy in this story, somehow. But I regret nothing. We tried to move past it. A traumatic death in our family lingered, making matters heavier. It seemed also, the more I tried to better myself, the further apart from my husband I drifted.

I was heavily involved as a worship team member at our church. I became a crisis counselor to help prevent suicide - which my husband didn't like much because he would work all day and then have to "watch" his son at night while I worked after taking care of my son all day. It made good money, and I thought the overnights were a good idea because our son should be sleeping anyway. Some days, I also worked as a childcare worker at my gym, which was great because I could bring my son with me.

Inspired by my time as a foster mother and working with crisis counseling, I enrolled in an online Master of Social Work program at my alma mater, WVU. So, I could stay in Florida and have my family while also working on a professional helping career. Once a Mountaineer, Always a Mountaineer!

The program wasn't so expensive. I was able to take more loans out for grad school by filing FAFSA, and while this obviously would stack up with the old loans I had been paying, it would also defer payments until I was able to get a good, higher-paying role. However, summer would be out-of-pocket. My husband and I owned a landscaping company that was picking up steam, and we agreed it would be okay. Or so I thought.

It started getting bad when I had to start my first unpaid internship and he was paying for my first summer semester. He could not understand why I would spend money, time, and gas to go work for free. I agree with him that this practice is exploitative, but this is how things work. I explained that it would pay exponentially once I finished the degree and that we were a team so he would benefit too. I had a babysitter who was a friend of the family and charged us reasonably to watch my son while I went to learn case management and disaster relief at Catholic Charities in South Sarasota, FL. Thank God for Catholic Charities.

Hurricane Ian hit at the tail end of 2022 hurricane season. I always joke that our relationship began with Hurricane Irma and ended with Ian, two "I"-named storms. But, it's true, really. I begged for us to have an evacuation plan as a family. He told me, "I'm not going anywhere." So, I told him, I think it is safer more north at my mom's house - which proved to be very true. I took our son and went to stay at my mom's while he continued to work and told him to come there when he was done. Instead, he calls me after work and says, "I'm going to the east coast during the storm with the guys. Are you coming?" I had just brought everything to my mom's. I told him I couldn't do that, and I didn't understand why we couldn't have made these plans together. He said he didn't have time for this talk and he hung up and went with his "brothers" to wait out the storm without me and our son.

I was upset and scared, but I figured we would work through it. The south was blasted by Ian and our home in Sarasota lost power so I stayed with my mom until it was safe to return home and he continued to work. I came home when it was finally safe, and as soon as I saw his face, not excited to see us, I knew it was over.

I sat down and tried to talk to him. He told me he knew he hadn't loved me for some time and it felt like a relief when he would come home and we weren't there. I begged him for us to try, to go to therapy, to just take space. But just like that, this whole detour in life I never thought would happen, all the good and the bad, it was over. I crumpled. I lost it. But I was still a mother and I was still in an internship and in graduate school. So I wasn't allowed to lose it, really.

It took about one month. I got a new place the week of Thanksgiving, which is also my son's birthday. I worked at Starbucks on all the holidays while my son was with his dad, who took him to Disney for Christmas and lied to me, said they were in Tampa. I worked as a barista AND I was hired as a full-time case manager at Catholic Charities. But I could not make ends meet, and I worked from 4:30 a.m. until 7 p.m. or later some nights. My mom helped as much as she could with my son when I had to work late. I was doing it on my own, but it was not easy. When my husband took our son for the weekend, I would spend it cleaning the 1-bedroom apartment and doing homework after working at Starbucks. I was working 7 days per week. I was tired.

I looked for ways to decrease the workload so I could spend more time with my son and make more money to help us survive. I found a position as a foster care licensing specialist with the same agency that had licensed me for my stepson. I really liked the job. I scored 97% on the Florida board exam for Child Welfare Case Management. I always spoke up and advocated for what was right. I was good at my job. I made an impact. That was the whole point. And it was closer to my son's daycare so I could take responsibility and be the mother he needed to pick him up and be dependable. But it still wasn't enough, especially after paying for my second summer semester on my own.

I received a few threats of eviction. I always pulled it off just in time. But when I got the letter that they were raising the rent on my tiny apartment. I lost it again. I was already paying $1800 per month just in rent with only water included. That didn't include electricity, phone, food, gas, insurance, care note...I was doing my best, but it didn't add up.

I decided to come back to Morgantown because I had loved living here before and the rent was significantly lower than Bradenton-Sarasota. I didn't want to create distance between my son and his dad, but I could not do this alone. So I went somewhere I believed I could. And I am here now, in my last semester of my MSW at WVU, needing again to pay out of pocket to finish out my whole program, everything I have worked for.

I currently have a 3.8 GPA despite all that has happened. I have made it this far.

So, here is what I know. If you can help me pay for this last semester which is almost $7000, then I will give back to Morgantown and the state of West Virginia in the form of both clinical and generalist social work, generating increases in the economy and directly helping local residents in need. I am working full-time as a case manager at Catholic Charities WV in Morgantown. I have other future opportunities presenting themselves to also be a therapist. I want to do it all, and I want to do it for the betterment of us all.

I am here to stay, to raise my son in the beautiful mountains, and to give back to a place that has given me so much. If you help me with this, it means I don't have to risk losing the financial stability I have worked so hard for. It means I can provide for my son while I finish school, and even better afterwards.

I have given a lot of myself to every community I have been a part of because I know how hard life can be, and I don't want anyone else to have to feel the kind of hopelessness I have felt. But I know that there is always hope for better. I know that there are generous Americans who would do the same. So, now, I am on this end, asking for your help for something that will make an entire difference in our lives.

$6,244 will be used to directly fund the tuition for my last semester. Anything past that amount will be used for books.

If I don't reach my goal, I honestly don't know what will happen. I can't think that way. There is no option but up. Please help us. I tried looking into Merit Waivers at WVU, but because I am online, I am not eligible. I applied for scholarships, but those are not usually enough to pay for much. I might get around $500, but it isn't guaranteed. I applied for external scholarships and FAFSA. None of this is promised, and with the current state of things, highly unlikely to be of help. I am relying on your kindness. I am surrendering to God's will.

Thank you for listening.

Montani Semper Liberi