Help a Struggling Mother Overcome Debt

I typically really hate to ask for help. This is not something I like doing and it's not something I necessarily feel safe doing due to trauma... But honestly I have no other choices.

In September of 2022, I officially separated from my ex, we were together since we were teenagers and life was very codependent. Financially speaking, things completely shifted. When he moved out, I very last minute had to put all of the bills in my name very last minute and before I could even financially do so and it's been a struggle ever since just to make ends meet.

It's been a struggle to balance my life again because I've had to fight and advocate for my children. I've been going to doctor's appointments almost weekly if not multiple doctor's appointments a week. My son has a speech delay and was recently diagnosed with autism. My daughter was just recently diagnosed with ADHD but I also suspect that she has autism. I've been also in the process of getting an official diagnosis of Ehlers-danlos syndrome, not just for myself but also my children as they are also hypermobile. I've had to take FMLA from work, but FMLA doesn't pay me for my time that I have to take off. I've also been struggling because I have ADHD and after learning more and more about my kids, I believe that I'm also autistic. I've been dealing with burnout.

I used to do photography on the side to make ends meet. But I can't do that anymore. In fact, I started to lose a lot of my energy to do that soon after my son was born, but I tried to power through and ended up burning myself out. Whenever my life completely shifted, a lot of things didn't fall in place how I needed them to and I couldn't even get editing into my regular routine like I used to. For the longest time I didn't even have a computer that worked properly with me and finally I got it to work but once I got it to work, I had so much piled up that it was overwhelming. It's also incredibly embarrassing. I still take photos here and there as I can, but usually their weddings because it's only a one-day thing and it pays more money. But it does take me a while to edit. But this isn't something I can actually depend on because I physically can't work the way I used to because my kids need me more. But also on top of that, I'm exhausted.

I'm absolutely exhausted from having to run around and deal with so many new people and all of the paperwork that goes around with it. My son has weekly speech therapy for 12 weeks at a time, and then he has a 12-week break. I've been trying to get him qualified to get into preschool, which he will hopefully get into by mid-september. I've been working with my daughter's school trying to get her the tools that she needs to succeed. She was just recently denied an IEP because she tested higher than the 95th percentile in all of her tests when it comes to her academics. But she gets lost in a crowd and needs more one-on-one teaching time because she gets so overstimulated from all the other people and the new information around her on top of getting lost in her own little world.

My father also helped me by getting me a vehicle in January of last year. This van has been in and out of the shop at least every 2 months. On average. Each repair has been upwards of $1,000 or at least almost $1,000. Last week I had to put my van in the shop because it didn't start and it needed the struts replaced. All they did was charge my battery and tell me that my starter is going out and replaced the struts but didn't replace the starter. So while picking up my daughter from school, my van didn't start. And it's in the shop again. And it's going to cost another $560 just to put a new starter in it. When we just paid over $700 to get the struts put back on. While I have been getting some help with the cost of repairs, I've still been missing out on work dealing with this.

Because I've been missing out on work, I have not been able to make my loan payment. I tried to talk with my bank to see if they can work with me, and when they did, they would not allow me to overdraft. I tried to have them give me leniency to at least pay my electric bill and they did that the day of but a week later they revoked the payment and then I had to pay the electric company double what I owed. I tried to get assistance from LIHEAP but the process took a while and they were only able to assist with a small portion. I ended up having to spend almost return on my electric bill. I spent $1800 just to make sure I have it back on. The rest of my tax return went to my phone bill, my water bill, and my internet bill. I was able to tuck a few things here and there away for my kids' birthdays. But even still, I'm trying to make everything stretch and I can't.

My loan itself is for $5,000. I honestly just need to catch up, but it's hard because I've been living essentially overdraft to overdraft. The entirety of my paycheck goes directly back into the hole and then I have to pull more out just to make sure my bills are paid and that my needs are met. I have the food pantry, I have food stamps (only $349 a month though), and WIC for my son. It's a very big struggle trying to keep everything afloat. I know that the amount that I'm asking for is not going to cover all of the expenses that I have going on right now and how far this has gotten behind, but any help would mean the world.

To top it all off, my partner also just had to pay about $1,000 just to fix his van. And he's been having to drive to and from Washington, Missouri from Columbia, Missouri every other week. Gas is expensive. Living circumstances have been difficult and they need to change. But I also need to be able to afford a divorce and I haven't been able to do so. I just got told this year after applying for legal aid for the second time, because you can only do so once a year, that I could represent myself in court for my divorce. But it's still more money and it's still more time that I have to take away from work. There are not enough programs that I can sign up for That will actually help in a timely enough manner. I also know that there's only so much funding for these things and a lot of these programs can only help you once a year. So I'm really stuck. And I'm really scared that I'm not going to make it through the next 3 months. I'm already behind on my mortgage by a little bit. On top of the other loan payment. Please help if you can.

I'm about $700 in the hole right now and I have to still make my phone($250), water(which doubled since last year. I pay $80 a month now?!) and internet bill($79). I also have a partial mortgage payment of about $300 to make up by the end of the month. Then I'll need to pay for all of the utilities and the like all over again next month. ‍ Any little bit helps. I also have cashapp, chime, or Venmo if those options are easier.