Help Aaron Babb Rebuild and Support His Mom

MY SHAME - AARON BABB

In 2016 I was evicted from my apartment. I didn't have enough money to get a new place and decided to ask my mother to take me in to her small apartment in my sister's house. She accepted. At the time I still had a job (though rarely enough work to get ahead) and put money into my mom's account when I could.

Over time, my job provided less and less work while promising things would get better. I should have been looking for other work but I'd grown comfortable living with my mom and having her provide the essentials. This was my initial shame.

When the pandemic came along not only did I lose my best friend (to cancer) but, soon after, I was laid off from my job. By that time I had been getting no work and was already completely dependent on my mom for even my cigarette habit. She provided everything without comment or complaint. I applied for some jobs but gave up quickly. Yet more shame that I didn't feel at the time.

Since then, I've spent the last four years rarely considering how much my mom was losing taking care of me. She even took up a gig doing food delivery just to keep my nicotine habit alive! I've since quit but even then I still wasn't moving forward.

Fairly recently I realized that I was losing weight at an accelerated pace, almost certainly due to illness but I can't afford a doctor...and of course took no steps to do so. At the end of the day I now can't go down a flight of stairs without needing to rest.

The bottom line is this: my mom needs money, both to start making up for the years I've already stolen her resources and to help her in the now. Secondary to this I need to buy a PC in order to hopefully find work so that I can pay my way.

I'm scared in addition to being ashamed because I know I'll need to accept homelessness now that my brain has caught up to the thoughtless way I've been living.

If you can help, your help will be appreciated.