Help Abby Overcome Her Medical Challenges

Quick update on Abby: she is lying down for her first heart surgery right now (surgery starts at 1 pm CDT) and it would be really incredible for her to wake up and see a huge outpouring from her friends and family! This is a relatively minor procedure, but it is surgery and Abby's condition makes any of these procedures risky. Medical costs continue to accumulate, so any and all donations are tremendously appreciated.

Thank you all and please spread the word to friends, co-workers, teammates, students, fellow educators, etc to give Abby something powerful to wake up to!

And thank you!!

-----Original message below:

Hi, this is Jack, Abby Waite's twin brother and I am raising money to help Abby with her medical bill debt. (Personal note from Abby below!)

In late 2019, Abby went to Mexico to help take care of her parents. She had been going back and forth to help for about two years because of her dad’s declining health, and he was about to have another surgery.

Abby loves connecting with people, so she had gotten to know her dad’s doctor, Dr. Ana Gaby Flores, during her visits. Little did she know, that connection would end up saving her life.

Just after her dad’s surgery, Dr. Gaby (as she is now known) noticed Abby had some unique symptoms. After a barrage of tests and scans over the coming weeks, it was very clear that Abby’s health was in serious danger, and she very nearly died. An undiagnosed viral heart infection led to her heart swelling to twice its normal size (insert your own pun here about Abby's big heart) and barely pumping enough blood to keep her alive. Dr. Gaby saved her life and her first cardiologist said she would have died if she had returned to work after Christmas as planned.

But let’s back up… If you know Abby, you know she is a giver. She gives her time, her energy, her everything to others. She always has. Her passion is helping others, and every facet of her career reflects this: as a victim/witness advocate, school counselor, coach, and volunteering at school. If you’ve worked with Abby at any of her schools over 20 years as an educator, you know she was always willing to help not only her students, but also colleagues. She loved giving little personal gifts to staff members on their birthday or if they were having a bad day. She has always put others before herself to try to better their lives.

And Abby was an extremely hard worker. She always has been. In high school, she worked before she was legally allowed to (shh, don’t tell!) to help pay for club soccer costs, and worked nights while playing on a Division I soccer scholarship in Wisconsin. She also did a lot of coaching in the summer, including the Wisconsin Olympic Development team, amongst others. When she started graduate school, she continued to work full-time in the Milwaukee County D.A's office. And during her five years there, she spent countless days before/after work and weekends coaching Division I soccer, a travel club soccer team, and Pius XI High School. For 20 years as a school counselor, she worked different “side hustles” during spring break, weekends, and every summer.

What makes Abby so sad today is not only her health issues, but that she can not actively help others and has not been able to work since her diagnosis. She had to resign because her heart was too weak and there was talk about her going on a transplant list. Then, COVID happened, and she opted to stay in Mexico because of their excellent and affordable medical care. She spent the next 3 years paying her hospital bills, treatments, complex scans, mounting medications, and short

trips going back and forth to the U.S. to renew her visa, entirely out of her own pocket.

She never applied for disability or unemployment then because of pride, and she stayed so positive, thinking that a full recovery was always around the corner. When she quickly depleted her savings, it devastated her financially and her mounting medical and credit card debt continues to rise…with interest. She did finally apply for disability, but it is tied up in the system with no end in sight, partly because they wouldn’t accept any

medical records from Mexico. So, she moved back to Wisconsin to live with her aunt and started seeing her favorite doctor again from Milwaukee, who has known her over 20 years and has helped her instrumentally in getting to see countless specialists.

Over the last four years, her overall health has only gotten worse because of complications, wear and tear on her body, and medication side effects. She now has at least 30 different diagnoses, and she’s up to about 17 medications. There are treatments and procedures that will make her better, but she can not go down that road without financial assistance. Are you ready to help someone who has dedicated their life to helping others? 

Some of the medical details include:

Here's a note from Abby:

My entire life has changed over the last four years, especially in the last two years because of new health conditions.

My heart problems and its medication side effects have caused constant shortness of breath, a dangerously high heart rate just going up a flight of stairs, very low blood pressure, and a strict limit on water intake. Last summer on a hot day, I drank too much water and wound up in the ER.

I rarely use my computer and devices because my hands get so tight and painful within 15 minutes because of osteoarthritis. It’s too difficult to do almost anything with my hands, even simple art projects with my aunt I’m living with, who is an artist.

My back pain is often unbearable, and I can’t stand or sit for more than 15 minutes without extreme pain, so I’m usually lying in an adjustable bed my aunt generously provided for me. I’ve been seeing a physical therapist non-stop twice a week for my back and neck for over last two years and little has helped.

Lately, I’ve been experiencing some of the late onset symptoms of CTE (chronic traumatic encephalopathy) because of multiple concussions (some with loss of consciousness) from my fearless goalkeeping days in high school and college. 

As a result, I've been asked to participate in two different research studies this summer at Boston University’s world renowned CTE Center. One of the studies will be longitudinal, so they can track my own neurological difficulties, as well as helping people in the future. They can also rule out a few of the symptoms of ALS.

I’ve been seeing a Migraine Neurologist and none of the injections and treatments have worked. And I’m scheduled to do a Sleep Study for my 20 years of insomnia to find more answers. As a result of all of my physical conditions and stress, including my debt adding up and loss of independence, I’ve had chronic depression and anxiety for almost three years, and have started developing a fear of just leaving the house.

So, I no longer go out eat or do any of the things I used to enjoy, especially live. sporting events, concerts and fun travel adventures. There’s too much pain physically and mentally, even down to the “lesser pain” like apathy and fatigue.

I even had to miss my best friend’s funeral in Seattle last summer because I was in the ER. Before she died unexpectedly in her sleep, she was “my person,” my emergency contact since we met working in Beirut because my family was living out of the country. 

I no longer go to the store anymore because of my physical and emotional conditions, so I just go to my medical appointments these days. I’ve also missed some family holidays and gatherings, even though they’re only 30 minutes away.

All of these effects have taken its toll. Over the last two years, many have noticed I haven’t kept up on any social media, and I avoid emails, phone calls, and texts; it's just too overwhelming.

I feel so bad because I’m losing touch with many of my friends and family, and I still love and care about them deeply. Sadly, when I do get the energy to actually communicate, I lose the energy and focus to respond or follow-up.

Essentially, my self-esteem, self-identity and overall independence has been crushed because I’ve always been such an independent person who didn’t like to rely on other people or ask for help. I continue to be stressed out about finances every day because of my debt when I used to be so financially independent.

I’ve simply lost my joy in life, and I’ve been seeing a therapist about that, and I see a separate pain therapist to help.

As a former school counselor, I’m okay with sharing this information and want to increase awareness that “it’s okay not to be okay” and to help take away the shame with everything I’m feeling.

However, I do still have some faith left. 

I’m still hopeful that my heart problems will get better, which will lead to my back getting better with surgery. I’m hoping the top neurologists during my CTE studies will give me some answers and treatments, as well as helping others in the future. So, I’m

counting on myself to be even more positive, resilient, and finally accept many of mylifelong limitations. 

As one of the current successful NCAA women’s coaches once famously said to herplayers, “Handle Hard Better” when faced with adversity.