Help Alice Live(CmpdTrauma.Med.Restitution.$Loss)

Hey there,

If we run in the same social circles, you may have seen my posts in the past, but if not-

Hi,

I’m Alice.

I’ve been, for lack of a better, more extensive, essay-length description, unjustly denied permanent (post-grad, even) residency in New Zealand thanks to the severe grooming by a teacher, being stripped of my safety & support, stranded & close to completely isolated in Arizona for over 5 years now. If you’re short on time, the essential information here is this:

 ((feel free to DM me if wanting more details about anything, or unclear about 

 situation, but just trying to keep it relatively short here to be courteous))

 As of now, a shocking & unrealistic number of recurring traumas, emotionally abusive experiences, & devastating losses (following the already severely damaging, religious abuse/trauma, & extreme fundamentalist indoctrination inflicted through isolation & forced homeschooling my first 15 years of life), which initially led to an immediate BPD, anxiety, ED, & major depressive disorder diagnosis, for which I consistently sought  treatment, followed by an adult assessment & diagnosis of ADHD during my time overseas in school—- a time that began (in New Zealand) as an exhilarating, fresh, & beautiful potential for a new, freer, & better quality life, became suddenly horrific, difficult, & immensely painful, due to the inappropriate, power-abusing, unethical & vile actions of a staff member within Vic Uni’s theatre dept….followed by the shameful, disappointing, unsupportive & grossly invalidating reaction to this by the other staff members… & entire department. Despite these obstacles, as well as an agonising 3 year rehabilitative “break” that I honestly, nearly didn’t survive, enduring pain I was too undeveloped to identify or process despite the best efforts(back in the states, where I laboured & fought to escape back to NZ once again…..accomplishing SO much, & in spite of the massive disadvantages & repeated abuse that since has left me debilitated— bachelor degree in hand, I still failed to secure my permanent residency in the place I KNEW was more my home than anywhere else on earth, & I watched my entire life, future, & all I had worked for, just ripped away from me. 5+ years later, & my previously unrecognised, & until recently, untreated CPTSD & PTSD, plus a painful OCD diagnosis, constant suicidal urges, self harm compulsions, & a period of shock & grief following the bewildering, astounding, cruel dehumanisation, & sudden ghosting /abandonment by the small, previously supportive, safe, & loving friends that I truly loved, trusted, & expected (ie BELIEVED whenever they repeatedly convinced me) to be lifelong.

That final blow was so traumatising, & the fallout somehow even more dehumanising…that after additional attempts at employment, Arizona’s very red, very ableist “right to work” laws successfully discriminated against, & stripped me of 2 more jobs I was desperately trying to make work…..but thanks to the cruelty of the current state laws & unjust denial of my remaining unemployment benefits, I’ve been without any actual income or the unemployment payments due to me for nearly two years. As I try to survive this & recover from my most recent (& genuinely unpredictable) wave of MORE severe emotional abuse, intentionally re-inflicted past trauma, fam/friends’ deaths, isolation, & full-on failure of Arizona’s substandard mental health services, lack of individual workers rights for disabilities, & my intensive state of grief, I just won’t survive this unprecedented period of struggle without serious help & financial assistance from somewhere.    

So I finally set up this fundraiser because monthly bills, overdue & late bills, student loan debt, recurring & expensive vehicle repairs, pet care & food, utilities, transportation, & 

Name change fees, pressing & newly time-sensitive dental work costs, food costs, grief, officially, thoroughly diagnosed agoraphobia, & everything else overwhelming (in a financial, physical, or mental sense) in life are all still coming at me fast & burying me. Any shares or donations will literally be saving my life right now while I apply for social security

. Thank you so much for your time &/or any future support. 

Ps. 

Please be careful, kind, & understanding with your own mentally/chronically ill, disabled, or recovering loved ones/partners/friends, & remember with all that pain, outside ableism & invalidation, they just need so much love.

 

Edit: I’ve ….been forced to discover a lot of things that actually make sense of everything. After the extensive amount of trauma research I’ve had to do (keep in mind AZ is literally the WORST state -ranked. When it comes to mental health care)

Long story short it was always autism. Our society NEEDS to value mental health care AND research AND funding. I’m here now PARTIALLY because I’ve spent the last ….nearly two decades being treated for the wrong thing, and having a community that chose to demonise me for a diagnosis I don’t even have.  If you want a better world for your children, we need to change this Shit. 

And if you think for a second I’m not going to continue posting and advocating for BPD, you’re sorely mistaken- being treated like I was one for this long has done nothing but shown me they also deserve better fucking treatment and less ugly misinformation spread about people who can’t control what disorder they have. Solidarity is what may help us after all.

Thanks for your time.❤️‍