Help Ayana and Beaux Move Back Home ❤️

Hey friends, family and community,

I am asking for help with me and Beaux’s move back to North Carolina from Chicago. I am pretty private but I am learning not only to ask for help and to be unashamed of it but also of the power of community, as liberation for us all.

*UPDATES:

As of September 1st, I have made my goal of paying for the cost of moving due to your donations here on GoFundMe and direct payments! Thank you all so much. I still need money towards paying my last month of rent, bills and settling once I arrive to NC! Please keep sharing!

In January of 2024, I had to make the hard decision to leave my job after experiencing a severe health crisis. I had been there for almost six years in which I spent the last 3-4 years trying to find another job at no avail despite obtaining my Master’s degree in 2018 and 10+ years of work experience.

The Art Institute of Chicago is an institution that is riddled with so much racism, from everyday interactions to its systemic structure of white supremacy. It is the reason they cannot retain Black employees.

During my first year there I’m sure I took on the role of two people for much less than their combined income. I had two supervisors assigning me work for two audiences on top of managing spaces, people and 3 cohorts of interns a year.

Working in a mostly white space made me feel strangely incompetent and worsened my anxiety disorder and battle with depression. Now I know I was simply just being given too much work and it was not a healthy environment.

By the time the pandemic came around I was quite literally a shell of myself. I thought the slowness of the world would provide me with much needed relief but it didn’t matter because I was always in the wrong place working at that museum. I saw almost all of the Black employees in my department leave or get fired. I was still so tired and stressed but I stayed because I was literally not being recruited or hired anywhere else.

Things reached a peak the summer of 2023. I was asked to produce an in person festival, on top of leading a summer internship program that required me to be in the office 4 out of 5 days of the work week with only a week between the yearlong internship—I was burnt out. After dealing with unbelievably racist and insensitive situations despite conversations to find solutions, I couldn’t even enjoy my time off because I was so anxious about returning.

This was a never ending cycle from October 2023 until January 2024 when I began suffering from literal physical pain from the stress including continuous back and shoulder pain, breaking out in hives, anxiety attacks and a big hit to my immune system which ended in contracting covid despite consistently wearing a mask in public spaces.

Taking a Family and Medical Leave of Absence would only pay me using my paid time off which I would have to pay back if I used all of it. I didn’t trust HR to file worker’s compensation because I knew they would have prolonged the inevitable, which was knowing I needed to leave. Truthfully, I was afraid of what would happen if I stayed.

I have spent 7 months unemployed, living off of my savings which has been long gone. I have applied for unemployment insurance in which my job denied me from twice. I was even mocked and insulted by the Illinois Department of Employment Services. I was told my health issues were not enough evidence to make me eligible for unemployment despite having received written diagnosis from my therapist and doctor that spoke to my decline in health.

Now, even with help from family and friends and selling my belongings, I don’t have enough to make this move back home. I am also unable to pay my last month of rent. I am moving at the end of September 2024.

If you’ve taken the time to read this or consider donating, I thank you. Donations will cover the costs of:

I appreciate any and all words of encouragement. Also if you know of any connections for work I would appreciate that as well. As you may know the current economy has made it hard to find a job of any kind, let alone something that will pay me for my skill and worth.

This has been a year of starting over completely. Sharing my battle with my mental and physical health is a big part of my recovery. Naming what has happened and not minimizing it or allowing myself to be manipulated or gaslit into thinking these things didn’t happen is no longer something I will accept. My health and life is important, it’s a big deal. I won’t let my gifts be tainted anymore.

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH