Funeral Expenses, including flying Darryl home

Hello Everyone! This is Darrena and I don’t know exactly where to start so I guess I’ll start by saying…My brother Darryl Gray Jr. has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer.

He just celebrated his 36th birthday on July 23 so that’s something to be happy about.

At the beginning of July, Darryl went to Providence Hospital in Waco, Texas where he lives with his girlfriend Jocelyn and her brother, because hadn’t been feeling well. He was losing weight very quickly and his skin looked very pale. At first, the doctors noticed that his kidneys didn’t seem to be functioning properly and failing which led to him starting dialysis as soon as possible. The doctors found a tumor pressing against his kidneys which was causing his kidney failure. They then performed a biopsy which came back inconclusive because the sample size wasn’t large enough so they had to perform another very painful biopsy which then concluded with the unfortunate news that the tumor was malignant.

Currently, our mom, Kena, and Jocelyn have been in Texas by Darryl’s side in the hospital for several weeks taking care of him as much as she can while handling information from the doctors and nurses. Our mom is devoting all of herself to Darryl and his needs at this time. She’s been sacrificing sleep, health and finances. For several weeks she’s slept in a non-reclining chair so that she doesn’t have to leave his side. She makes sure the nurses and doctors are doing what they need to do, helps him eat and move around, helps him clean himself/combs his hair and holds him when he needs to be held. It’s been very difficult for her as a mother to watch her child go through this and by herself since Ray had to fly back home about a week ago to take care of their business back in Michigan. Whether she thinks so or not, in my eyes, my mom is one of the strongest people I know and I love her so much.

We’ve also been working on bringing him home to continue his dialysis at Beaumont where my mom has been able to get him a dialysis chair and speak with oncologists for another opinion to make sure we know what all of his options are for chemotherapy since the dialysis complicates things. It’s been more difficult than we anticipated bringing him home because of his health. My mom, unfortunately, had to cancel both of their flights because his vitals aren’t where they need to be to travel safely. His oxygen levels need to be low enough in order to handle the elevation of the flight and we’re also working on having them sit together so that my mom can keep an eye on his breathing with a portable oxygen tank that he’s gotten for traveling. The safest way to move him from Texas to Michigan is an air ambulance, which is very expensive since it would have everything he needs in case of an emergency. My mom has recently looked into an ICU air ambulance called Grace on Wings and was given an estimate of around $17,000 (including fuel and ground transport).

If we can bring him home to Michigan, it would make things a lot easier on my mom since she will have all of our family there to help out in person and it would help my brother to feel a lot more at ease with what he’s going through.

He wants to come back home to where he has a strong support system and can be around family. He has his nephews and niece that he hasn’t been able to see in person since he moved to Texas around 7 years ago. His eldest nephew is Christian who just turned 15, Noah who turns 9 in August, Myzel and his niece Lena both turned 5 in March, then there’s the little Madden who will be 2 in October. He would really love to be able to see them and they really want to see him. We all miss him so much and just want him home ASAP.

My brother Darryl is a BIG family person and is one of the most loving, giving and caring people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing and I’m so proud of him and so very happy that he’s my brother. While he’s had a lot of ups and downs in his life he still smiles and knows who he is and where he stands. He will talk (he knows how to do A LOT of that haha) to anyone and give you a hug without question if you need one whether he knows you or not. He loves to play video games League of Legends and World of Warcraft are two of his favorite games to play. I told him that when he gets home and feels better he’s gotta teach me how to play League since we’ve haven’t gotten around to gaming together like we’ve talked about over the years. I already have a gaming pc waiting for him. He’s always really loved animals, especially cats. He’s even gone as much as taking care of neighborhood strays in Waco. He’s also always been an aspiring engineer with different inventive ideas. Our brothers Darron and Dorrall also miss him and want to be with him and help as much as possible. We love him so much and we know that he loves us.

While we’re looking into the resources available to my brother and his situation, we’re asking for help from family, friends and anyone who would like to help if they can. Financially, things have been tight. Darryl, his girlfriend, and her brother all rent a house in Waco together with my brother paying half of the rent as well as bills on top of that to keep up with. Fortunately, someone was able to help my brother with paying his cell phone bill so that he can keep it on, especially since it gives him a way to keep up with my mom if she needs to step away and gives him entertainment. Thankfully his insurance is covering some important things like a portable oxygen tank that my mom was able to order for him. He still needs things like protein shakes that help him with getting enough calories, traveling for treatment, and other necessities for helping him to fight this. We as a family have been doing as much as we can but even then we know we’re gonna need additional help. My mom is meeting with a case worker to see if any resources can help with his expenses. She hasn’t been able to do as much with her event planning business as she would like to since she’s mainly focusing on my brother. While we’re not expecting anyone to give we would be grateful for any amount because it all helps.

While this time has been very difficult for my brother, he’s remaining optimistic mentally and emotionally. He’s a strong believer in God along with our family so prayer has been so important. He’s put his trust and faith in God to bring him and our family through this and if anyone knows my brother they know that he can PRAY. My mom said he’s been praying all the time including praying for the doctors and nurses. Our family is full of prayer warriors who are praying their hardest every day and believing. We’ve already experienced a devastating loss earlier this year in our family and even then we continue to pray and believe in God.

We want to thank everyone who's taken the time to listen to my brother’s story. It means the world to us. We will keep everyone updated as much as we can and hope to include some of the cost estimates as we get them. Thank you all again.

Love and Blessings,

The Gray Family