Help Us Escape A Toxic Family Environment Crisis

This is one of those situations where "thoughts and prayers" just aren't going to cut it. 

We currently live in a property owned by Camilla's mother and stepfather, because we can't afford to go anywhere else. 

This is a toxic environment for my wife, and it's having a negative effect on all of our mental health. 

Her mother and stepfather are narcissistic, manipulative, emotionally and mentally abusive, entitled, and have no respect for people's boundaries. 

(The LATEST examples are: 

minimizing the fact that they had a loaded shotgun under our kid's bed when he was staying the summer over at their house, 

refusing to let him leave when we came to get him, citing that it was "inconvenient" for them and threatening to call the cops on us if we showed up to pick up our own child, then, 

having the audacity to call our child's best friend in an attempt to further manipulate the situation in their favor.) 

I've been wanting to get her out from under them now since we got together. 

But I can't do this on my own, as I'm only one man, with one job, that, here in California, has me literally operating at a deficit every month. 

Average cost of living in California is: $4,423.

I make $18 an hour plus a $2 an hour shift deferential. 

After taxes and health insurance....

You can do the math. 

Yes, Camilla's mother and stepfather are charging us rent, which we cannot afford to pay.

The original agreement was that we maintain the property in lieu of rent, but when the repairs needed started to fall outside my ability as a carpenter/maintenance man to do without a crew and a city work permit (replacing outdated air conditioning system, fixing rotting roof, replacing outdated, leaking plumbing in slab), that was when they decided to charge us rent. 

And we paid rent, when we had two incomes to do it with.

Camilla is disabled with fibromyalgia as well as PTSD. She lost her job at Amazon because she missed too much work, which is illegal but it's our word against theirs, and guess what the arbitration agreement is that corporations make you sign? 

She has since tried to find other work that she can do, but to no avail. 

So I am our only source of income. 

Because we can't afford to pay rent, Camilla's mother and stepfather are threatening us with eviction. 

This is  how they are threatening us with eviction: every four days, they will have a 3-Day Pay or Quit document delivered to our door, stating the amount of rent we owe. 

This is followed by a voice-mail on Camilla's phone saying, "We're the only ones who can help you out of this."

They started threatening us with eviction not when we couldn't pay, but when I stood up to them and defended Camilla and our transgender son. 

I pointed out to them that if they loved their grandchild, they would support him, call him by his proper pronoun, and stop using his dead name, and stop belittling him for his choices, that gender dismorphia is a real thing, which can lead to suicide if not supported. They did not like that.

I pointed out to Camilla's mother that she's in therapy for the stuff she did, and let happen, to her as a child. Camilla's mother especially didn't like that.

I called Camilla's stepfather out on his racism, reminding him that his own wife is Asian, so he might not want to ask the Asian salespeople if their family "came over on the boat." Camilla's stepfather REALLY didn't like that. 

 

Ask anyone who knows me personally, I do not like asking for help. 

But without your help, my wife and kid are stuck living under the thumb of her toxic, narcissistic, abusive mother and stepfather. 

Chicago felt like home when we last visited, and the cost of living there is a fraction of what it is here, so our money will go farther. 

The weather will be better for Camilla's fibromyalgia. 

We just need your help in getting there. 

Anything will help. Our goal is $10,000, to cover moving expenses, deposits, first and last month's rent, and setting up utilities. 

Our credit is shot because of the situation, so any new landlord is going to want extra to cover their own security.

This situation is critical, and the toxicity is detrimental to our mental health. 

So please, help.