Help Cole Escape an Abusive Home

starting goal is 25k and ultimate goal is 200k!!!

Hello, my name is Cole and I desperately need help. I am trying to leave my abusive, negligent, and toxic household. I have everything but money.

I don’t like asking for help, and I really apologize for asking, but I’m begging, I need help badly. I am a minor, but I think I’m old enough to buy a plan ticket, I need to move states. After that I need an apartment I can rent, I’ve already found a few okay ones. I will be taking my dog with me. She is a small lap dog so she won’t be any sort of problem but I still need to buy her necessities for travel. and I also need my necessities. I want to buy a new version of a lot of my stuff just incase. I don’t want them to notice I’m gone immediately. I will be leaving late night and catching a plane in the early morning. A plane ticket varies but it’s all over 100.

I would like to talk more about my family and WHY I’m leaving. I think I’ll start with the physical abuse and child labor that started when I was three.

My dad has always been more…old school? He would suggest punishments as in shoving soap down a child’s mouth if they ever cussed or “talked dirty”. Which I know was a very common mindset back then, but this should not apply to a 3 year old. Especially one that learns everything from their father.

As soon as we moved in to our new home back in around 2016, my father immediately put us to work as house slaves with the excuse of teaching us to be wives. He would beat us if we didn’t clean good enough, or fast enough for him. And he would punish us if we showed any sort of emotion whether it be negative or positive. We were only allowed to feel what he wanted us too.

He would strive for me and my three other siblings to be successful prodigies, which in the end was his biggest mistake. My oldest siblings (26 and 29) are both living under our parents roof and barley work or clean, my older brother does have a job as an artist and made good money but now ALOT of things have gone to shit. And my oldest brother is just a drug addicted mess.

This leaves me and my sister, (16 and undisclosed) my sister is the star child. She has always been spoiled and treated like a princess, a few years ago we realized she was autistic and the babying just got worse. They see no wrong in her, if she fucks up it’s okay and check on her to make sure she’s okay. But if I fuck up I get everything taken away and I’m being a lazy asshole.

I can spend weeks cleaning the house making sure my family is happy and they won’t bat an eye because it’s what “I’m supposed to do”. But if she cleans up one mess it’s “here have some money, here you can have this, aww thank you sweetie or when I go to the store I’ll get you something.”

I’ve never been treated like that. Not ever, and I’m sure I never will.

Back to the point, growing up I was gifted with the ability of dance, and intelligence. But just like any other gifted kid this was abused until I burnt out.

Dancing isn’t fun anymore, I can barely go to school and get good grades, let alone get up every morning. My depression has rocketed into the ground and I rarely feel happiness anymore. I’m only happy when I self harm or eat. Two things I shouldn’t be doing.

My mom always checks to make sure my sister eats when she cooks, but if I don’t eat fast enough and my other family eats my portion it’s “should have gotten up, or should have been faster.”

I haven’t seen a doctor for a regular check up in over three years. Last time I went was because I was extremely sick and we figured out I had bad lungs, but even then, they never did my follow up appointments so I was never diagnosed or treated. I’m still sick and in pain.

I am obese for my age, I was never told when to stop eating or that there was other things to do so I overate when I was stressed. And now that I’m older the weight won’t come off. Plus I don’t have the space to exercise. I don’t ever leave the house, maybe 3-4 times a year. I’m in online school too.

My breast are abnormally large and my back is hunched because of it, I am in pain and I need help badly but my parents just refuse to take me to the doctor. I was so sick and unable to breathe once and begged for the hospital, but my mom told me “you’ll be okay” and set up an appointment for a week later.

But yet, when my sister sleeps longer than usual my mom gets so worried and started asking me in private if my sister is okay or if she needs anything, not to mention my sister is an attention seeking brat. She lies for attention constantly and whines when she doesn’t get to spend my money on what she wants. She would spread lies about people in school so they would get in trouble or become hated by other classmates, and so they would love and praise her. All I could do was stand by and watch. I was only nine around this time.

Let’s move onto my more personal issues.

When I was seven, my parents signed me up for a small club where teens and kids alike could join together and be creative and learn. It was an afterschool thing so I went everyday for about 4 hours.

It was fun at first, until I mingled to far with the older kids.

I got caught up with sexual abuse and constant topics of sex. I wanted a boyfriend and would beg older boys to date me. I would join in older games of “sexy truth or dare” and do nasty things either other kids.

I did so much to make a name for myself that two boys got obsessed with me.

One fifteen and the other ten. I was nine.

They would tackle me as soon as they seen me and hold me down as they groped me and touched me. The other kids would watch, including my sister. They would laugh and tell me I’ll be okay. Until I fucking wasn’t.

The older boy, aged fifteen. Took advantage of me while I was alone, he raped me. I never told anyone, nor did I really know what happened, but not long after that Covid happened.

I don’t have much more to say on that topic.

But one big point I want to make before the next topic is, my family is rooted in religion. My grandma believes god made me and my mom was just a carrier. Yeah..

Anyways, back to my dad.

He’s a sick fuck.

Remember when I said that I was a kid prodigy and I was an excellence in dancing and things like cheer and gymnastics?

Well I realised why me and my sister were forced into that just recently.

About six months ago I misclicked on my tv remote and it took me to YouTube, my YouTube was signed into my dads account because he was the one that we up out tv.

Out of curiosity me and my sister went through his account to watch his old YouTube videos and stuff, and we also ended up in his history section.

This was a mistake.

We found videos of naked or almost naked women promoting their sex accounts

And making Risky videos with their bodies, he was also obsessed with tribal women who didn’t wear shirts or other things. He would only watch videos about games and shows if the women had good screen time. And worst of all, we found children. These children were doing what kids do on YouTube, but my dad saw it as something different. One child was dancing and singing about being a fairy, but her shirt was extremely big and hanging low down her shoulder so you could see her chest. That video was with the rest of his disgusting jerk material.

This made me realize that I was only a toy to him. I’m his favorite child not because I take most traits from him but because I have a decent body he likes and i could do so much while being so naive. But I grew out of that, and now I know. And now I’ll never let it happen again.

I don’t have much else to share, I’m happy to answer questions, but again, please help me get out of here. I can’t stand this place, it’s either I die of stress or I fucking kill myself and both options are looking bright.

I have a goal of 15000. Once I hit around 8000, I’ll start leaving, please share. And please help me.

https://gofund.me/11b71945