Help Bring Our Dad Victor Home!

Where do I start? I have avoided writing this new description for my dad's GoFundMe for two months, hoping his situation would change...trying everything possible I knew to do to help him...and hoping and praying that those we trusted to make decisions in his best interest would do the right thing. (You can read the original post and all the past updates to see all the efforts made on his behalf.) Once again, we are seeking help from friends, family, and our community!

As many of you know, we have been on a long and incredibly challenging journey since our dad was hospitalized on November 24, 2020. We've cried many tears, prayed a lot, and fought hard to get him acute rehab, which was denied repeatedly. We then hired a professional advocate to help us. For 11 months, the advocate navigated through all the complex components of my dad's care and helped find a path to bring him home.

Unfortunately, he was only home for two weeks. On May 22, 2022, he was sent back to Sharp Hospital for diarrhea and a UTI (ailments that do not require hospitalization, by the way). Then, a few days later, instead of getting to return home, he was placed in Sharp Birch Patrick convalescent home, which has a two-star rating on Yelp and Google Reviews. For over two months, I have avoided sharing this with all the people who have been on this journey with us and care about my dad's well-being. I really hoped he would get to go back home, and I was led to believe that he would get to go back home. I'm very sad to say that those I trusted to do what was in my dad's best interest have failed him greatly. He is now not getting any physical therapy! He is alone most of the day every day!

Our dad Victor needs and deserves to be in a home setting where he will get personal attention, be surrounded by his children and grandchildren, get private physical therapy on a regular basis and other cognitive therapies for his brain injury, as well as nutrition catered to his renal needs. My sister wants to bring him to live in her home to do just that (since his own home is no longer an option). At Lemon Grove Nursing Home (where he was for many months after Kaiser...and where, during one of my visits, I found him staying in a dark corner of a small room he shared with three other men until I fought to get him out of there), he received very little personal attention each day, lost 60 lbs. due to a poor and insufficient diet, regressed physically and cognitively, and his posterior wound got worse -- going from a third degree to a fourth degree. He has come so far since then. We can't allow him to go downhill at this two-star facility. My dad's doctors have told us several times that he doesn't have any medical needs that cannot be managed at home!

We are raising funds for professional advocacy to be reinstated, a handicap ramp, a handicap-accessible vehicle, a motorized wheelchair, and private caregivers to help my sister until IHSS (In Home Support Services) kicks in, which could take up to 2 months from the time he returns home (the process is slow).

Thank you for continuing to walk alongside us by caring about what happens to my dad and with your prayers and financial support. I truly don't know understand why things have gone the way they have; it seems very wrong and very unjust. But my sisters and I will never give up on our dad and getting him the help and services he deserves.

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Original post: This is our dad, Victor. Our dad would give you the shirt off his back. Our dad would help you move on his day off just because you asked. Our dad would be the first to put you on his church’s prayer list or visit you in the hospital. Our dad is loving, caring, humble, selfless, thoughtful, hardworking, and kind. He helps friends, strangers, and family members alike with no prejudice. Though we are not father and daughter by blood, I became his daughter when I was nine years old—even after he and my mom divorced six years later—and I have been his daughter ever since. Thirty years. Even though he didn’t have to. Even when life was hard. Not out of duty, but out of love. That’s the kind of man Victor is, and I’m forever grateful to him. He means so much to all of us.

On November 24, 2020 our world was turned upside down when our dad was hospitalized at Kaiser in San Diego due to Covid-19 symptoms. He was forgotten about and left in the waiting room for more than SIX HOURS with Covid symptoms. He was diagnosed with Covid and pneumonia. His second night in the hospital, he went into cardiac arrest due to low oxygen. He suffered what the doctors called "global brain damage." He had a second cardiac arrest that he also survived, and went into the ICU for a few days weeks later because his oxygen went too low during kidney dialysis.

A couple of weeks into his hospitalization, they told us he would not wake up. He did. More than once they encouraged his wife to pull the plug on Dad. Then they told he wouldn’t be able to communicate with us. He is now talking and smiling, and constantly says he loves us and wants to come home. Praise God! They told us he would be connected to machines the rest of his life, but he was breathing mostly on his own at over 90-100% oxygenation and was about to be weaned off the trach before his last incident that sent him to ICU for a few days. Our dad has been a fighter every step of the way. He wants to be here, and we want to give him his very best shot at recovering.

But it has been so frustrating, discouraging, stressful, and emotionally draining to tell his story for SIX MONTHS…every time he gets a new doctor (which has been often), a new hospital, a new case worker, and a different Kaiser representative on the phone. We have talked to every friend in the medical field we can. We have called many post acutes and every Acute Rehab Unit in San Diego (including one in Los Angeles). We have called and emailed people at Kaiser insurance to try to get help. My dad is insured! He worked for the city of San Diego for more than 30 years of his life and retired recently. He’s only 58 years old! The insurance will cover 100 days of rehab, but they don't readily like to pay for Acute Rehab when a skilled nursing center or post acute is a fraction of the cost. At first they offered a ONE-STAR rated post acute in San Diego with reviews on five different sites that would break your heart. You wouldn’t want to send your worse enemy there -- let alone your precious loved one. Turns out, that place hasn't been credentialed yet for in-house dialysis, nor has any other post acute in all of San Diego. But an Acute Rehab CAN accomodate in-house dialysis and trach patients, all while giving them three hours minimum of life-changing speech, occupational, and physical therapy. It has been a major David vs. Goliath fight to petition this type of care for Dad, and we keep getting denied. And for 3 1/2 months, we dealt with all of this without being able to see Dad, hug him, sit beside him, brush his hair, comfort him in person. We could only see him through video chat, and even then we had to fight in order to provide him his own tablet and a rolling stand that he wouldn't have to share with other patients.

We have talked to three physical therapist (PT) friends who have expressed that Dad's best shot of getting better is to be at an Acute Rehab. He will never get the kind of intense and focused speech, physical, and occupational therapy as he would at an ARU, which is required by law to do at least 3 hours of therapy per day. My PT friends have seen miracles in patient’s ability to recover through acute rehab! PLUS an ARU is equipped to take a hemodialysis patient with trach and wound care like my dad. We have worked really hard to research and to meet a target, and then each time, it seems like the case worker and the insurance company moves the target. It feels like Groundhog Day or The Twilight Zone. It is such a maddening and helpless feeling…

We are praying every single day for God to make a way. We believe He can. We have faith! We believe God has brought our dad this far, and defied every sad opinion we’ve encountered from those who didn’t believe he would make it. We are still hoping and praying, and today the idea came to me to see if we can raise funds through the community to send our dad to an ARU, which Kaiser is refusing to do despite us asking and laying out our case numerous times. We found an excellent ARU close to my dad’s home, and it costs approximately $2200 PER DAY. This cost is comparable to all ARU’s in SoCal. If we meet our goal here on the Go Fund Me page, it would cover the cost of two weeks at the ARU. In reality, Dad needs much more time there to build back up his atrophied muscles, get stronger, get worked with cognitively and physically, and restore his motor functions. We are hopeful that this focused and intense time of hospitalized acute therapy will give him the best chance in regaining some independence and returning home! Thank you for your support! And please pray for Victor for continued miracles and complete healing.

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3/22/20 - I called and left a message this morning for Kaiser's "Expedited Review" department, which is necessary when you or the person for whom you're advocating is in a more urgent situation than the normal 30-day grievance process. This is urgent because Dad has been hospitalized for four months and his case worker says the only option is the worse post acute facility in San Diego, and wants to send him there on April 1. A lady called me back this afternoon and told me that in order to even talk to me, she needs to fax me an authorized representation form that I have to get my dad to sign...my dad, who has lost his small motor skills like signing his name, and is in a hospital that isn't allowing visitors. My little sister had already gone this route and the form got lost in the shuffle when Dad moved from Kindred to Kaiser Zion several weeks ago. So the lady is mailing me the form, since I don't have a fax machine (who even has a fax machine?)...only to learn from my sister that I can actually get the same form online.

As of this morning, I've contacted all five of the local San Diego news stations and the mayor. Next on the list is the CA Dept. of Insurance and Medical Board.

I also talked to Dad's case worker for the first time (she's been in regular contact with my dad's wife and my little sister), for an hour this afternoon. The case worker said she didn't know anything about us wanting him an acute rehab before today and that Kindred Hospital said nothing about an acute rehab, only sub acute. She said the facilities will deny Dad if he doesn't have MediCal (which he doesn't qualify for) because they want MediCal to kick in for coverage after the 10 weeks that Kaiser covers expires. Breathe.... God will make a way!!!

3/24/20 - Dad's case worker at Kaiser said that Avocado Post Acute is the ONLY sub acute in all of San Diego that will take dialysis patients with trach....that there is no other sub acute facility in all of San Diego County that can take him. I called about 8 of them today and so far she is right...none of them have in-house hemodialysis (Victoria sub acute said they will sometime this quarter). I still have more to call this week, but this is such a problem! My dad already had kidney disease (he wasn't on dialysis yet) and Covid made his levels worse; however, many people who didn't have kidney problems before have had kidney failure because of Covid. More sub and post acute centers need to be equipped for hemodialysis. SouthBay Acute Rehab, Sharp Memorial Acute Rehab, and Glendale Adventist are equipped for this, but the case worker said that since my dad needs maximum assistance physically, he likely will not qualify. We want them at least to try. My PT friends said to ask for a trial, and we did, but it doesn't look like that will happen at this time. The other issue is that because ARU's are more expensive per day ($2200/day) than a sub acute ($800/day) the insurance won't want to pay for that past 10-14 days. I have been told this by two ARU admissions people and two PT's. Dad needs more than 10 days of this kind of acute care. What an insanely impossible situation to be in. God, turn this into a HIMpossible situation please!

3/26/20 - I got to spend 4 1/2 hours with my precious daddy at the hospital yesterday!!! Earlier this week, San Diego was downgraded from a red tier to an orange tier, which means hospitals are finally allowing visitors. Thank you Jesus! This is the first time my dad has been allowed to have visitors since the start of his hospitalization in November 2020, except for the three times he went into the ICU for near-death issues (but only his wife and three or four family members were allowed to come and they had to get there quickly and were only allowed to stay 15-30 minutes). Anyway, I could not get up to my dad's room fast enough lol! He was awake, alert, and saw me immediately. He smiled big and said, "Angie!" There is so much I want to share about our visit, but it would be a much longer post. I'm so thankful I got to see him, hug him over and over again, brush his hair, anoint him with oil (Psalm 91:5 and James 5:14) and pray over him to be healed and restored, talk with him, joke with him, read the Bible to him, play worship music for him (I asked him if he wanted some oldies and he said, "No, I like your music,"), connect several family members on video chat while I was there. Several times he wanted to leave with me ("Where's your purse? Where's your keys? Where is your car parked?"), which was hard. He also believes he can get up...so he is motivated! Please keep praying for his total healing, that God would make a way with the insurance company and an Acute Rehab, and please keep sharing the Go Fund Me page. Thank you so much!

3/27/21 ~ Hi everyone! I've updated the actual Go Fund Me story so as not to bombard you with updates, but I did want to share an important one via this update feature. I called Avocado Post Acute yesterday and the admissions person said that our case worker from Kaiser is mistaken, that they cannot take hemodialysis patients on their sub acute side yet (and certainly not on April 1 like we were told) because they are in the process of being credentialed and that hasn't happened yet. They are indeed the ONLY sub acute in San Diego that will be able to take a dialysis patient with trach, but they don't know what the start date will be as of right now. But friends, guess who can take a dialysis patient with trach? An ARU (acute rehab unit)! Which is what we have been wanting, requesting, and advocating for all along. Dad's case worker emailed me back in response to some of my questions yesterday and he is not a candidate for an ARU. I have pushed back on this with multiple questions and counter points I have learned from my physical therapist friends, and am waiting to hear back. Please pray the Lord will make a way.

3/30/21 ~ Hello everyone, I heard back from Kaiser's Expedited Review a couple of hours ago, but needed a little time to process. Dad has been DENIED Acute Rehab at this time on the basis of the clinical department/committee not deeming it "medically necessary" because they don't believe he can tolerate three hours of physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy. I have shared many times that the rules state it doesn't have to be three hours continuous because it can be broken up throughout the day, and the team I spoke with earlier today agreed. What's more, the rehab case manager from the outside organization who can make the recommendation for Dad to go to Acute Rehab told me that they told Kaiser there were NO physical therapy notes for them to go off of for that past week, so it was impossible for them to make a recommendation. We also found out that, when Dad can't sleep or is irritable or restless, they have been giving him a sedative with concerning side effects we have seen with our own eyes, so we are concerned this has affected the way they are evaluating him. They agreed today not to give him that medication any more. I still have hope. Physical Medicine could look at him next week or the next week or the next week and think he's ready -- but we really have to stay on it and keep pushing for that -- so definitely keep praying. In the meantime, I can appeal with the Department of Managed Health Care. Dad's still in limbo. He can't go to the next level down in care (a sub or post acute) because no one in San Diego has in-house dialysis, which blows my mind, and they confirmed today that it is not an option to have mobile dialysis travel to a facility. Again, Acute Rehab CAN accommodate Dad and his unique situation, all the while working on speech, occupational, and physical therapy. I am back at square one trying to raise funds for my daddy's care. Please share this page if you would be so kind. Thanks everyone!

4/12/21 ~ THANK YOU so much to everyone who has given to my dad Victor's Go Fund Me. I praise God for you! So far, our fundraiser has been shared 297 times and we are just $284 short of raising $12,000 for Dad's acute rehab. What we have raised so far will pay for nearly 5 1/2 days at an acute rehab unit for speech, occupational, and physical therapy for our sweet pops. We would love for him to get two weeks minimum at an ARU. Really, he needs much more time there, but it is so costly! I have emailed close to 40 San Diego city officials and people my dad may have worked for or with at the Water Dept., the Kidney Foundation, celebrities, SD news stations, Dad's favorite teams (the Chargers and the Padres)...basically anyone who might listen. All I can do is pray for God's will to be done. I wanted you to know that if we do not meet our goal, we will use 100% of what we have raised for Dad's other medical bills, handicap accessibility for his home, and in-home physical therapy since it will not be possible to transport him to and from appointments until he is mobile again (Lord willing). Thank you again for your love, generosity, and prayers. God bless you!