Help activist Danielle escape abuse & TRANSITION!

To my amazing, lovely, kind supporters:

My name is Danielle Muscato, or you can call me Ellie. I’m a trans woman, civil rights activist, writer, and musician. I also live with disabilities and have chronic pain.

Welcome. Thank you for your interest in my fundraiser. I'm glad you are here, and I'm grateful for your time and attention.

I recently escaped from my abusive, anti-trans father. I was extremely lucky to find a cheap, short-term lease on a studio apartment in my small hometown of Columbia, Missouri, while I figure out where to go next. Due to my disabilities, I'm unable to work a normal job to afford the rent and other expenses for relocating away from here.

I'm also having heart surgery in two months, to fix a congenital issue that's currently preventing me from transitioning with hormones. My heart condition also makes it unsafe to take stimulant ADHD meds. Once I recover from my heart surgery, I will be able to move away from conservative small-town Missouri, begin hormone therapy to transition, and restart ADHD meds.

My current rent is $490/month, the cheapest I could find, plus utilities, groceries, etc. But without a job, until I'm approved for disability benefits, I need your help to pay for a roof over my head, and to put my plans into action to get away from Missouri.

I’m raising money to:

1) escape from living with my anti-trans, abusive family

2) Pay my bills while I recover from my upcoming heart surgery, so I can begin transitioning with hormones

3) buy a camper van to move into, and

4) Relocate away from anti-trans laws in small-town Missouri, to the queer-friendly city of Seattle/Tacoma, Washington.

In addition to my heart condition and being trans, I also have debilitating chronic back pain. In 2022, I moved back in with my father, Dr. Joe Muscato, while recovering from back surgery, while I applied for disability benefits and waited to be approved. I still have not been approved for disability benefits. Moving in with my dad was a huge mistake: My father violently attacked me, and I had to flee for my safety.

I'm currently in the Safe At Home program, a government program that hides my address from government records so that my anti-transgender family cannot continue to stalk and harass me.

You can read more about the details of my abusive father here. Included are audio recordings of my father's abuse, photographs of injuries I sustained from him, including X-rays, and graphic descriptions of abusive behaviors. See http://www.DrMuscatoIsAbusive.com for more details.

Aside from my chronic pain, I mentioned that I have a serious heart condition requiring heart surgery. My heart condition, called atrial fibrillation, currently prevents me from taking hormones to transition, until I have this heart surgery, called a catheter ablation. Unfortunately, until I have surgery, it is also unsafe for me to take the ADHD meds I’ve been prescribed for many years, until I recover. With my chronic pain and PTSD as well, this makes working a normal job not feasible.

I'm excited to announce that I will have the heart surgery I need to cure my heart condition this fall, in September!

I already have found a heart surgeon, Dr Jain at the University of Missouri, and we have already gotten insurance approval for the procedure. The cost of my heart surgery itself is covered under Medicaid. I don't need to raise money for the surgery itself! Recovery should take about a month to six weeks. Once I’m recovered from heart surgery, I will be able to start transitioning with hormones, and it will also be safe to restart my ADHD meds.

What I need is to get away from Missouri. It’s not safe for me to transition here.

Aside from escaping my anti-trans family that lives here, Missouri has a far-right conservative Republican governor AND two right-wing Republican senators, who are actively doing everything possible to ban gender-affirming care. Earlier this year, the Attorney General of Missouri enacted an "emergency ban" on adults transitioning with hormones. A judge later overturned the ban, but this is only a temporary measure.

As a trans woman, I need to get as far away from Missouri as possible if I want to transition and start my new life.

I want to transition in a city where it's safe to be the woman I have always known I am inside. Once I recover from this heart surgery, it will be safe for me to start taking hormones, and I can also restart my ADHD meds and be productive again.

My goal in raising money is:

1) to pay my rent, utilities, and groceries while I recover from heart surgery

2) to buy a camper van that I can live in, and

3) to relocate from small-town Missouri to Seattle/Tacoma, Washington.

As part of raising funds to relocate, I’m also selling off just about everything I own - several guitars, a lot of books, and more - so that I can fit my whole life into a camper van.

I’m also trading in my current 10-year-old car toward the cost of the camper van. My current vehicle is worth a few thousand dollars, which is much less than what I’ll need to buy a used van that will work for my needs. Then, I will be able to relocate to Washington State.

FAQ:

Why did you choose to relocate to Tacoma, WA?

The reason I chose Tacoma is that it’s a blue city in a blue state with lots of resources and legal protections for trans women, as well as a good music scene and good weather for van living. I also have some friends who live there, who will help me get settled, find new doctors, and a new talk therapist, and set me up with a queer community when I arrive.

I will be able to transition safely in Washington, and I will have better access to trans-friendly healthcare there. Small-town Columbia, Missouri is no place for a trans woman.

Why raise money to buy and move into a camper van?

Since I'm disabled and still awaiting government approval for disability benefits, I'm unable to work, and I don't have the income to pay rent, wherever I go. By living out of a camper van, I can avoid the sky-high rent in the Seattle/Tacoma area, while still being eligible for Medicaid and all the other resources available to trans women in that area. I've lived out of my car in the past, and although it's not for everyone, if I plan ahead and do this the right way, I think it will be the best option available to me to have a roof over my head and get to a safer part of the country.

What's my timeline for how all of this plays out?

Here's where we are:

TIMELINE:

2021: I became disabled, and began the 5-year process of applying for disability benefits.

2022: I had back surgery, which actually turned out to be 3 back surgeries over a year.

November 2022: While recovering from my 3rd and final back surgery, my abusive dad attacked me. I fled to a hotel. See DrMuscatoIsAbusive.com for more info.

2023: I found a short-term lease for a $490/mo, accessible budget studio apartment in Columbia, Missouri

July 23, 2023: I need heart surgery so that I can transition with hormones.

The Plan:

August 2023: Sell most everything (guitars, books) + trade in my 10yo car, and shop for a camper van, that I can outfit for full-time living.

September 2023: Have heart surgery.

October 2023: Continue to sell off most of my guitars, all my books, and everything else I won't take with me in the camper. Research & buy whatever equipment I will need to modify the van so that I can live in it full-time, and make those modifications.

November or December 2023: Once I finish selling off everything & recovering from surgery, and my camper van is ready to move into, I'll leave Missouri and head to the Pacific Northwest.

Before the end of 2023: Relocate to Tacoma, Washington, living in my camper.

Jan 23, 2024: My 40th birthday.

Throughout 2024: Once I'm back on ADHD meds, I plan to complete my book & the accompanying solo album.

Can I read an excerpt from your book?

Certainly! It will most likely be titled, "Dr. Muscato is Abusive: A True Story of Domestic Violence, Police Corruption, and Child Abuse." I have set up a Google Drive link where you can read parts of what I have so far. Please keep in mind that this is an unfinished brainstorming rough draft, not a sample copy. I will probably end up rewriting major parts of this, cutting a lot, and fleshing other parts out, over the next year before it's ready to publish. A lot of what's in the above link are notes to myself, about what I want to fix or redo. But I hope you can get an idea of what the book is about and the types of things I'll be writing about.

Can I listen to some of your forthcoming solo album?

Yes, kinda! I have some "sketches" of songs, home-recorded demos of a few of the tracks, if you want to hear those.

1) This one is about my dad Dr Joe Muscato. I'm still working on the lyrics, and I want to redo it with an upright bass instead of an acoustic bass, and in a different key that I can sing more easily. It's kind of a silly upbeat country tune called "My Daddy is a Racist." So far it's just bass and vocal, but the final version may also have some percussion and guitar.

2) This one is just guitar and my voice so far and it's about my emotional support animal, my 19-year-old cat, Hermione, who died two weeks ago. When I re-record it, it will probably be in a different key. It's called "Let Go."

3) This one is still in the works too. It's called "Chump (Or So I Tell Myself)." This recording has looped guitar, digital drums, and bass. The singing is TERRIBLE and I intend to record it better next time, in a different key and with a real drummer and bassist instead of programmed parts. It's about someone I used to date, who slept with my brother the cop, and took advantage of me in other ways.

I'm still writing most of this album, let alone am I ready to record it for real. Please keep in mind that this is not the final draft. Next year, I hope to go into a proper studio and re-record these songs with a live band. For these rough demos, I'm using programmed drums, and a looper to play the bass lines. Also, please forgive my singing voice! I'm also hoping to start singing lessons soon - I know that I have a lot of issues with pitch, tone, range, and singing & playing guitar at the same time. I have a lot of writing and rehearsing to do before I'm ready to go into the studio next year and record these with a real bassist and a real drummer.

How much is a Class B camper van?

Camper vans vary widely in price, from $5k or so for one that's 30 years old, mechanically unreliable, and not yet built-on for full-time living, on the low end, to well over $200k for a well-equipped camper van that's brand new. Realistically, the cheapest I think I can get a reliable vehicle and outfit it with a bed, toilet, solar generator for overnight AC, fridge setup, WiFi, etc is about $15k. My budget really just depends on how well this GoFundMe works out, along with what I can raise by selling off the rest of my personal property.

How much will it cost for your heart surgery?

The good news: It took 3 insurance company appeals, switching insurance companies 3 times, and moving to a new state, but I'm thrilled to report that the cost of my heart surgery is completely covered by Medicaid. I don’t need to raise any money for the surgery itself. My medications are also completely covered. I don't even have a co-pay!

I only need to raise money so that I can pay my bills while I recover from surgery, buy a camper van, and relocate away from Missouri and my abusive, anti-trans family.

What do you have planned for your medical transition?

I am so grateful for your interest in my journey. I have already taken most of the steps I can take to transition before starting hormones: I've legally changed my name and gender, I've grown out my hair and grown out my nails, and I've started dressing more femme. What’s next is medically transitioning with hormones, once my cardiologist approves it after I've recovered from my upcoming heart surgery. Over the next few years, I would also like to look into laser hair removal. Depending on how well the hormones work, after a year or two of treatment, I may be interested in having facial feminization surgeries and/or breast surgery, too. I am undecided about other transition surgeries: It depends on the cost and how my health is doing when the time comes. I'll probably be asking those questions in more detail around 2026, if all goes to plan.

I want to start over with my new name, my new legal gender, and my new life as a woman, in a safer place for people like me.

Tacoma and the greater Seattle area also have a fantastic music scene that’s friendly to progressives and leftists like me. As a multi-instrumentalist, songwriter, and part-time guitar teacher, I’m excited to move to a place that’s more aligned with my music career trajectory.

Seven years ago, I used to have a great desk job as the director of a department at a national nonprofit on the East Coast. I’m no longer able to work a normal job and support myself, due to my physical and mental health disabilities.

Over the last 3 years, I’ve had 3 back surgeries and 3 rounds of physical therapy, and I’m also in talk therapy twice each week for my PTSD.

I still need this heart surgery, and that will cure my heart condition. Then it will be safe for me to restart ADHD meds, and begin hormone treatment for my gender dysphoria.

Over the last few years, I have become disabled from chronic pain, PTSD, a congenital heart condition, and ADHD. I take 15 prescription medications. I'm 39 years old.

You may know about me from some of my Twitter threads that have gone viral, from my public speaking career pre-pandemic talking about everything from atheism to trans rights and intersectionality with BlackLivesMatter; my ongoing, semi-professional career as a musician and music teacher, my essay writing for outlets such as Newsweek and Reverb, or my previous career as the Public Relations Director for the national nonprofit, American Atheists, from 2013-2015. For more about my background, see this Ask Me Anything thread I did on Reddit a few years ago.

In 2021, when my doctors told me I needed both heart surgery AND back surgery, they suggested that I apply for disability benefits. After getting all of the necessary documentation, I applied for benefits 2 and a half years ago. However, it can take up to FIVE YEARS to get approved for benefits and I am still waiting. In the meantime, I cannot work and have no way to pay my rent or bills.

I'm starting this fundraiser because multiple friends and supporters have asked me to do this.

The reason I need to raise money is that I'm escaping from living with my abusive father, Joe Muscato. I'm trying to get a fresh start.

I’m currently in the process of writing a book, with an accompanying musical album of original songs, about my years of history of child abuse at the hands of my parents, who both have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I’m writing about the experience of growing up in an abusive household, that looked fairly normal or even good from the outside, with lessons about what I learned, and how other people can benefit and learn from my experience as an abuse survivor. My book, "Dr. Muscato is Abusive: A True Story of Domestic Violence, Police Corruption, and Child Abuse" is about 25,000 words so far, or about 1/3 of the total word count. Although it needs a lot of editing too, I expect to be able to finish it over the next year, if all goes to plan, and I can cover my bills in the meantime.

As a musician, I’m writing an accompanying solo album of original songs about my parents’ abuse, and starting my new life as a trans woman. I intend to release the album along with the book once I finish both of them, if all goes to plan in 2024. After I've recovered from my heart surgery, and I can take ADHD meds again, I'm really looking forward to performing music again.

Along with the money I’m raising by selling my current 10-year-old car, most of my guitars, furniture, books, and so on, I plan to use the money from this GoFundMe to pay for the camper van, and to pay for my living expenses while I wait to be approved for disability benefits. I will use the time in between to finish my book and solo album.

I miss being productive, contributing to social justice work with my writing & speaking, and being able to enjoy my life. Having this heart surgery, restarting ADHD meds, and living in a city where it’s safe for me to exist as a trans woman will be positively transformative.

With your help, I can escape this abusive situation with my father, escape small-town anti-trans Missouri, and start my new life as the woman I’ve always known I am.

Any amount you can donate is appreciated. Whether that's $1000 or $10, I'm just glad to have you on board. It means so much to me that all of these people are reaching out and asking how you can help. I'm touched and flattered and honored to have your support.

Another great way that you can help is to share this! Pick out a few friends who have stable income and are allies to trans activism and send them the link to this GoFundMe. Tell them that you think this is a good cause and you want to ask them to chip in and support me. If everyone who chips in sends an additional two or three people here, think how quickly we can make our goal! Anything you can do to spread the word, I'm grateful for you. Thank you.

I love you all!

Ellie

Danielle Muscato

writer, musician, civil rights activist

July 22, 2023

Columbia, Missouri

Thank you for donating and for sharing.