Help Doaa Heal from Racial Trauma

Hello! My name is Doaa. I am a Nubian Afro-Indigenous interdisciplinary artist and decolonial practice-based researcher, currently residing on the stolen lands of the xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish) and Sel̓íl̓witulh (Tsleil-Waututh) peoples, (colonially known as Vancouver).

It is really difficult for me to ask for financial support, however I have exhausted all of my options and need my community’s help through my healing journey. I work for a charitable Arts Organization and I am initiating this GoFundMe because I am currently dealing with the impacts of racial trauma I experienced at a work event, which took place on April 7th and 8th, 2022.

On the 7th, I faced racist and transphobic remarks from an artistic director working in one of BC’s school districts. On the 8th, I witnessed a culturally appropriated performance by a local non-Black Hip Hop instructor, who publicly humiliated me and the Black community after I highlighted her lack of cultural and historical context about Hip Hop. This had to be addressed, as it to could be harmful for the children she educates in schools. She admitted that her dance school does not have a single Black instructor because they lack the “TEN years of experience she’s looking for.” My employer took no action with either the transphobic educator or the dance instructor; not even an email of acknowledgment was sent to the colleagues in support of the only Black employee.

I had a mental breakdown and left the event early with permission from my employer, only to later receive a text that the staff photo was overlooked and was taken without me; I was excluded, which further alienated me. Additionally, after this traumatic event, celebratory messages were shared internally about how “successful” the event was, completely dismissing my trauma until I brought these insensitive and hurtful messages to their attention.

Racial trauma has tremendously impacted my mental and physical health in ways I never experienced before. I haven’t been eating, drinking or sleeping well. My sense of taste and smell changed. Even food I used to enjoy smells repulsive. I have severe neck and shoulder pain that I am currently treating out of pocket since my extended health coverage through work has been exceeded. I have suffered multiple anxiety attacks in public, which is why I limited commuting on public transit and am using Lyft/Uber instead. My ADHD symptoms worsened, as my brain feels extremely overwhelmed trying to navigate ways to cope with the trauma, financial burden, and stress. Most of the time, I have extreme fear of leaving my apartment unless I am with my friends. It takes me hours to plan leaving, and a lot of times, I get so physically exhausted from thinking and planning, I just give up and don’t leave.

I recently completed my second M.A. degree that resulted in me drowning in more debts and student loans. I intended on publishing my M.A thesis, apply for art grants, complete art projects, and more, but following this trauma, I missed every deadline.

As the only Black employee, after facing racism on both dates, my employer declined to cover the therapy sessions towards my healing journey, financial reparations for the trauma, and the unpaid emotional labour researching resources for legal and emotional support, as well as the Lyft expenses, I am limited from commuting on transit as a result of the trauma. Despite sharing the mental and physical impacts the showcase had on me, the only financial support I received in April was minuscule and did not align with the damages caused by the trauma, even when I highlighted that racial trauma recovery is a long journey and can’t be cured in few therapy sessions.

I am currently on paid medical leave until early August, after which, I am not sure what my source of income will be. I haven’t rested at all during my leave because I have been tirelessly spending hours researching venues of support, financial aid and legal support for this human rights case.

After receiving multiple messages from Black women sharing that my experience was relatable, I felt motivated to integrate my goal for social change within this GoFundMe campaign to amplify the conversation about an overlooked issue: racial trauma at the workplace. I was inspired to name my fight for justice and financial reparations with my employer Operation Reparations, an initiative that sheds light on the pay disparities of Black employees despite our (over)qualifications, as well as the lack of allyship and support when Black employees face microaggressions and macroaggressions, which impacts our emotional well-being. I want Black women to know that they are not alone and whatever they’re feeling, it is not in their head.

I am fighting for myself and for everyone else who hasn’t had the physical or mental capacity to pursue their fight. I want my story to inspire more people to feel empowered to freely share their experiences at work, without fearing reprisals.

I am fighting to normalize holding workplaces accountable into taking immediate action whenever we share incidents of microaggressions, precisely because they cannot be proven according to the colonial system. This is the system we are trying to dismantle; do you see how hard it is?

I would like to see reform with how racial trauma claims are treated, and how WorkSafeBC addresses cases, where we don’t have to re-live the trauma. We are consistently overexplaning why certain actions were “perceived as racist” to non-BIPOC employees. I want to witness systemic changes where it is normalized to have Black and Indigenous individuals handling our cases at WorkSafeBC, and more robust action from the BC Human Rights tribunal.

I envision a future where we don’t have to fight for our basic human rights to be represented, treated equally and receive all the support we need as beings who already deal with unhealed intergenerational trauma. My ancestors used dreaming as a tool of survival. It’s 2022 and I will not dream of change; I will make it happen. I am here to break the colonial oppressive cycles that force us to leave those toxic work environments instead of fighting for our rights.

My ancestors did not have the privilege to heal, and part of decolonizing oppressive systems is being offered the opportunity to do so. This is why I need your help to allow me access to the therapy sessions throughout this healing journey, as I fight for justice and financial reparations.

The funds will cover the following:

- 18 therapy sessions

-One month’s rent, as I was abruptly informed my paid leave ends early August and I am currently navigating disability applications and timelines are long

- Some credit debt to pay back the Lyft expenses incurred since the incidents as I re-inegrate socially.

I understand that since the pandemic, we have all been struggling financially, and immensely appreciate your support and sharing this GoFundMe within your network. Please use the hashtag #OperationReparations when you share the link so that we can collectively, as a community start dismantling this system, one person and one step at a time. You cannot imagine the magic we are capable of creating together.

Are you ready to join the revolution? LET’S GO!