HELP GEORGE & MONIKA - REAL LIFE “50 FIRST DATES”

Hey..

i have no idea where to even begin… so let me start with where we currently are first. My fiancé George, is in the hospital and has been since October 14th. He is currently stable. He’s endured 2 strokes, brain abscesses, septic shock, a MRSA blood infection, and endocarditis. There was actually a day where the doctors told us “unless his body starts performing some miracle, you guys are going to have to make some difficult decisions in the next 24-47 hours. We’ve made it a long way since day one but we’re slowly starting to figure out how these strokes have affected George… he has a traech so he is not able to talk so communication is extremely hard. The worst news in all of this .. is from what I’m understanding when communicating with him .. he lost his memory prior to being in the hospital.. he only knows who I am because I am there everyday and I’ve told him “we’re supposed to get married” etc. This is a scenario that I couldn’t have even pictured. When I go there sometimes I catch him in a good moment, and then suddenly he just disconnects and will literally stare through you - and we don’t know if it’s that certain he doesn’t understand or if he’s just ignoring us. I would’ve given away ANYTHING ELSE to protect his memory.. as you can imagine the more days that go by, the tougher it gets.. we have our fingers crossed that when he’s able to talk we’ll have a better understanding of his cognition / neuro status. The main cause of all of this is a growth on his heart, when we initially got him to the hospital they wanted us to wait four weeks for his brain to stop bleeding and they wanted to see him reacting to commands - and as of this week there appears to be a disagreement amongst doctors. Geroge is able fo move his left arm and leg pretty well, but he is not currently walking or sitting up on his own due to his right side being affected by the strokes. We are waiting and advocating the best we can to push this surgery forward, because as long as the growth sits there - he can have another stroke at anytime - which at this point gives me nightmares because I don’t even know how to handle the situation we’re currently in. 50 first dates immediately popped up in my head, most days this still doesn’t feel real, it’s a literal scene out of a movie. I hate reaching out for help, I hate feeling like I am troubling anyone else, I contemplated a million times whether to even make this gofundme, I really prefer to handle things on my own - but I’m at the point where I am getting filled with anger, I don’t know what it is this year but I’ve been getting bad news after bad news. Since George has been in the hospital, my car turned out to have a fried electrical system - I was able to part it out but for way less than I should’ve gotten. Things in my home have happened also and as of right now my mom and me are the ones carrying everything, and most of the time she’s away at work - which leaves everything on me. Jobs that were done by two people (me and george) have become my sole responsibility. The kennel is probably one of the hardest to do as one person. I’m going to be honest, I don’t know what to expect from posting this, and I cannot list exactly where the money would go because there’s a few different places it’s needed. I have some savings and I’m still working but with the situations that came out of thin air - I wasn’t prepared. George is going to be away for a while, we can’t even really say how long because there are still so many unknown answers.. and then even when he’s finally home he can’t just go skipping back to work… between the two of us there are four kids.. four kiddos we’ve kind of been keeping in the dark about the loss of memory until we have a very solid answer if it’s permanent or not... which brings up my next worry - Christmas. I have no idea how to pull this all off on one income, but I know Christmas has become really special for the kids, for those of you who know george, you know he spent most holidays - not home. Since we’ve been together Christmas has become our favorite holiday, and I know it’s become something really special for the kids to have “presents from dad”. I could go on and list a million things - george has Medicaid but for some reason I’m receiving hospital bills. I myself took two weeks off unpaid to ensure I was with him as much as possible. We’ve went from a house with four incomes to a house with two.. I’m not one to usually blast my business on the internet. I didn’t tell many people what was actually going on with George because I know we’re all struggling right now and I don’t want to trauma dump on people, but as this lapse in his memory becomes more real to me - I myself am not in a very good place. For those of you who follow me and george on Facebook, it’s hard to miss our sappy posts - but they’ve always revolves around specific dates, specific memories and the thought of these memories and moments not being there for him… just honestly breaks my heart. It’s a lot to bear by myself, unfortunately most of George’s family lives in Indianna and they help as much as they can, the mother of his kids has been really something special in this situation, and then my parents have helped in every way possible. In the upcoming weeks, certain changes are coming and things are going to get a lot harder on me. Even if you can’t donate - I’m asking for help in any way it can be offered. My main concerns are having someone to watch Gianna - I get done work at 3 she’s home from school at 4 and children are not allowed on the floor he’s on.. and realistically me and Amanda have come up with a plan to try to protect all the kids the best way we know how. So if anyone is willing / wanting to babysit, I already have two other people who help with her, but I could use all the help I can get. If you’re a chef or a cook for fun and want to drop off home cooked meals, that’ll be appreciated - me and Gianna have been living off fast food.. by the time I leave the hospital I am so so emotionally drained, and I still have to come home and handle the kennels - I don’t even want to picture having to cook. I’m just willing to accept any type of help at this point because for the last month I’ve pushed everyone off and done the “I’m fine” thing - and like I said as time goes on and things with him begin to look more and more permanent - everything becomes harder and scarier; if it wasn’t for Gianna and the dogs I would probably be in bed 24/7.. I wish I could say imagine being in my position but I don’t think there’s any amount of imagination that would even show a sliver of how this kind of situation can affect someone..

if you can’t donate, please share. If there’s any other help you’d like to offer please message me.

I appreciate anything anyone has to offer, in my 31 years in this planet I’ve never ever had a year like the one I’m in now..