Help Heike Leave an Abusive Household
Donation protected
Hello all, my name is Heike, you might know me from the DRRP scene or from art-related stuff. I’m sorry for making this but I don’t think I have much more choice.
Who am I?
I’m a 20 year old student from Ireland living in the Netherlands and I have been stuck in an abusive home situation for almost six months, with three male housemates who have been mistreating me based on my gender, sexuality, and immigrant status. I have a fourth housemate, but he isn’t around much, and doesn’t care about the situation.
What is my situation?
Since they moved in they have made my life hell. One treats me as a personal maid and forces me to clean up after him, this has included forcing me to clean the entire upper floor of the house without assistance in the span of 30 minutes. They threw out all of my pantry in December, over €150 worth of food, containers, and even my curtains, and then blamed me for it. Later that month they threatened me and my belongings again and forced me to remove all my belongings from public spaces.
They also got angry when I ate in the living/dining room and destroyed then removed all furniture there with a two minute “warning” as an effort to punish me. Most of the furniture was mine. I have not received compensation for any of this. They later forced me to eat off the floor, before sequestering me to my bedroom. My housemates also have been going through my laundry basket to find underwear, and then used this as leverage to insult me because of my “disgusting female underpants”. Their behaviour worsened when they learned I was gay and when they met my partner. They treated us with extreme contempt and threatened to make the landlord evict me for having my partner stay with me temporarily and threatened to throw my belongings, including winter coats and crutches, out.
I am forced to stay in my room and stay quiet, I get insulted if I eat outside my room, or are even caught sitting or cooking outside my room. I am often afraid to go to the bathroom or shower. I have to keep almost all of my belongings, including food, inside my room, which is only 10 square metres (107 square feet), making it extremely cramped and a fire hazard. Every single time I leave anything outside my room, no matter how small (eggs or bath sponges) or large (kitchen appliances and expensive winter clothing), it’s always stolen or destroyed. I’ve been losing hair and have not been eating properly recently, and a major reason for that is stress.
My housemates have a lot of friends who will gang up on me and say that I am being hysterical about the ssituation. I feel afraid to leave my room and every time they speak to me they bully, threaten, and berate me. I am genuinely afraid that if I don’t move they might break into my room and vandalize my stuff, or even worse harm my pet rats or even me.
I don’t have much in savings, and because I am foreign and gay I don’t feel safe speaking to the police and landlord. My housemates are very much “preppy upstanding young men”, and characterize me as “the bad guy” in the situation. They characterize me as dirty, disgusting, hysterical and unstable. They are also all Dutch and much wealthier than I am so they have more clout. I genuinely fear if I tell anyone in power about my situation that both I and my pet rats will be out in the streets.
What is my plan?
I can’t take legal action against them so my best choice is moving. I have family in the UK and have plans to transfer to a university there which feels tangible to me, as I have an unconditional offer. However I work part-time at a takeaway restaurant and my housemates' theft has diminished my savings hugely, so I'm unfortunately left here to ask for help.
The cost breakdown includes (in both GBP and EUR):
£2200/€2545 - three months rent and bills for an apartment
£500/€576 - moving costs
£350/€405 - cost of replacing stuff like furniture and basic appliances second hand
£150/€174 - cost of a replacement cage for my rats
Overall: £3200/€3700
Thank you very much, I feel so grateful for you just reading this far.
Who am I?
I’m a 20 year old student from Ireland living in the Netherlands and I have been stuck in an abusive home situation for almost six months, with three male housemates who have been mistreating me based on my gender, sexuality, and immigrant status. I have a fourth housemate, but he isn’t around much, and doesn’t care about the situation.
What is my situation?
Since they moved in they have made my life hell. One treats me as a personal maid and forces me to clean up after him, this has included forcing me to clean the entire upper floor of the house without assistance in the span of 30 minutes. They threw out all of my pantry in December, over €150 worth of food, containers, and even my curtains, and then blamed me for it. Later that month they threatened me and my belongings again and forced me to remove all my belongings from public spaces.
They also got angry when I ate in the living/dining room and destroyed then removed all furniture there with a two minute “warning” as an effort to punish me. Most of the furniture was mine. I have not received compensation for any of this. They later forced me to eat off the floor, before sequestering me to my bedroom. My housemates also have been going through my laundry basket to find underwear, and then used this as leverage to insult me because of my “disgusting female underpants”. Their behaviour worsened when they learned I was gay and when they met my partner. They treated us with extreme contempt and threatened to make the landlord evict me for having my partner stay with me temporarily and threatened to throw my belongings, including winter coats and crutches, out.
I am forced to stay in my room and stay quiet, I get insulted if I eat outside my room, or are even caught sitting or cooking outside my room. I am often afraid to go to the bathroom or shower. I have to keep almost all of my belongings, including food, inside my room, which is only 10 square metres (107 square feet), making it extremely cramped and a fire hazard. Every single time I leave anything outside my room, no matter how small (eggs or bath sponges) or large (kitchen appliances and expensive winter clothing), it’s always stolen or destroyed. I’ve been losing hair and have not been eating properly recently, and a major reason for that is stress.
My housemates have a lot of friends who will gang up on me and say that I am being hysterical about the ssituation. I feel afraid to leave my room and every time they speak to me they bully, threaten, and berate me. I am genuinely afraid that if I don’t move they might break into my room and vandalize my stuff, or even worse harm my pet rats or even me.
I don’t have much in savings, and because I am foreign and gay I don’t feel safe speaking to the police and landlord. My housemates are very much “preppy upstanding young men”, and characterize me as “the bad guy” in the situation. They characterize me as dirty, disgusting, hysterical and unstable. They are also all Dutch and much wealthier than I am so they have more clout. I genuinely fear if I tell anyone in power about my situation that both I and my pet rats will be out in the streets.
What is my plan?
I can’t take legal action against them so my best choice is moving. I have family in the UK and have plans to transfer to a university there which feels tangible to me, as I have an unconditional offer. However I work part-time at a takeaway restaurant and my housemates' theft has diminished my savings hugely, so I'm unfortunately left here to ask for help.
The cost breakdown includes (in both GBP and EUR):
£2200/€2545 - three months rent and bills for an apartment
£500/€576 - moving costs
£350/€405 - cost of replacing stuff like furniture and basic appliances second hand
£150/€174 - cost of a replacement cage for my rats
Overall: £3200/€3700
Thank you very much, I feel so grateful for you just reading this far.
Organizer
Henry Thomson
Organizer
Herewegwijk & Rivierenbuurt, NL, 4