Honor a Life of Resilience

Blair and Grandma last October 2023

Please help me lay my 95 year old grandmother to rest. Her family took her home and every penny she had.

If you would like to donate straight to the funeral home, Wilmington Funeral and Cremation., NC

Please, share this with on social media. If you can’t give i completely understand. I don’t want anyone to go without to help me, even $1 or $2 would be amazing.

Please read the entire story so this never happens to you parent and grandparents. Her own grandsons took advantage of her. The last part is unbelievable.

My grandmother (Grandma) Dorothy Virginia McCaskill was a social butterfly. She loved to eat Chinese food, key lime pie, and Pepsi. She was born in 1929, in Savannah, Georgia. She was the baby of 6 kids: 1 boy and 5 girls. She loved her sisters and brother; they were close their entire life. Grandma was the baby in the family. When the Depression happened, her family couldn't feed all the kids, so those who weren't old enough to work had to go into an orphanage. Grandma told me because she was only 4 years old, they had to lie about her age. No one was allowed to stay at the orphanage under 6 years old. This has caused confusion about her age and birth year for years. Her older sister aged out, got a job, got married, and came back to get the last two sisters left. Grandma was so excited to see her mother again. Her father had been killed in an auto accident before she came home. She lost a son in 1976, he was murdered. My grandfather died in 1987 of cancer. She never remarried.

I loved my grandma; she was so special. She was a tiny woman with jet black hair and brown eyes. Her nickname was "Bubbles," given to her by a man named Charles. He was the administrator, as far as I know, at Cornelia Nixon Davis Nursing Home. This is where she worked as a Ward Clerk for 26 years. She made many lifelong friends there. Charles and Mrs. Yaun are the two I am most aware of. She worked well into her 80s. She did private respite care, taking care of elderly people, which is always funny to me because she was elderly!

The reason I am asking for your help: My grandma had macular degeneration. She was legally blind. She still lived alone and took care of herself until she was 91 years old. During the last 5 years, my cousins manipulated her into signing away her house to them. She thought it would be after her death. Not so. They got POA, Deryll McCaskill and Dennis McCaskill. My grandmother, when I took over POA, had negative -$2.10 in her account. Four months earlier, she had a little over $50,000.00 she had saved from all the years she worked. She got $1,100 a month for SSI. She had bought a house with a small apartment in the back. She paid the mortgage with the rental of the front house. The rest of her bills were paid with the small SSI check. She was broke. My cousin had a drug and alcohol addiction. He had used all her money and went on these runs, spending Grandma's money as his own. When I went to check on Grandma, I was home from a 3-month over-the-road haul. The apartment was so horrible I cried and apologized to her repeatedly. I took her home with me, and my mother took over her care, and I took over her POA. I let Grandma put her checks in the bank while I bought the things she needed. After eight months, she had around $7,000.00 in her account. When I came back in June of 2022, I was going through the pile of mail. Grandma's bank statement was in the pile. I was horrified; she had -$35.00 in her account. My mother and my brother had drained her of everything she had. Once again, her family had used and taken advantage of her, leaving this 91-year-old woman with nothing. I, of course, confronted my mother immediately. She acted like she knew nothing about it. I had put a limit on her ATM withdrawals. $60 was the max you could get out of her account in 24 hours. How this was done is my brother and mother had gone to grocery stores all over town. They would buy one item and get cash back of $200. My brother being a heroin addict, and my mother being his enabler and greedy. She told my grandmother, her mother, she would kill her if she pressed charges on my brother. They convinced my grandmother it was me that had taken her money.

When I returned home in November 2022, my neighbor came over and asked me if I knew what happened to Grandma. I didn't, so she explained that my mother called 911 and told the police to take her away. They didn't know what to do, so she was taken to the ER where she was admitted and stayed there for a little over 3 months. I went to the hospital and found my grandmother laughing and happy! She can make the best of any situation. She was so happy to hear my voice. It took me about 3 weeks to get the paperwork together to be able to take her home with me. So I stopped going over the road, I got a home daily job working nights. I thought I'd work while Grandma slept, so I'd be home when she was awake.

As time went on, she began to have more dementia. I couldn't leave her alone at all. I tried every government agency I could think of to help me get someone in the house part-time to help while I was at work. This country is not set up to take care of their elderly. No resources! It's less expensive to place someone in a nursing home than let them stay with the family.

I searched and found an assisted living home. Very nice, very clean, and they took her insurance. This is where things went from bad to worse. Four months after she moved in, she fell and broke her hip. She had surgery at 93 years old. She was in so much pain, she was scared. I stayed with her during the day at the hospital, and I worked at night. This went on for a while, but she started improving. We finally left the hospital for rehabilitation! We were on the road to recovery. Within days, she was up and walking with a walker. I was always so proud of how strong she was. Here's the thing: I read and researched this injury. It was not a good prognosis for someone her age. She made it through surgery, through recovery, and discharge from the hospital is a huge hurdle for someone her age. She was discharged from rehabilitation and back to the assisted living. The injury took a toll on her mental health. She had become more confused and anxious. The staff decided she would be safer in a room closer to the main lobby so more eyes would be on her. The next few months, she began to decline, losing weight, more confusion, more injuries. The facility contracted bedbugs; it was a nightmare. Then a staff member came to work and didn't know they had chickenpox. Grandma got chickenpox. The last few months of her life, she had setbacks almost weekly. She got weaker and weaker, she lost more and more weight. Finally, hospice was called, and Grandma was totally wheelchair-bound, not eating much at all. She had an episode on Tuesday, 9/17/24. She slumped over and was so weak she couldn't open her eyes or hold up her head. The Sunday prior, September 15, 2024, she turned 94 years old. We ate key lime pie, milk, chocolate ice cream, and a really cold Pepsi. That would be her last piece of key lime pie. She had another episode like before; we placed her in bed on Wednesday, 9/18/24. I got off work Thursday and went straight to her. There was no change; she hadn't taken in any food or water. By Thursday, she was unresponsive, but hospice had her comfortable, out of pain, and no anxiety. I stayed with her from that day until she passed away on 09/28/2024.

I was told that the two cousins that had taken everything and her house had already paid for a funeral. This was a lie. More of the ego we see that helps people feel good about themselves. I have trimmed every extra off this funeral that I possibly can. There are no frills, no registry, no CD, no service, just a small graveside with a friend saying a few words. I am a truck driver; I live like everyone else. Since COVID, funerals have gotten about 25% more expensive. The casket is $2,600.00. I found one on Amazon less expensive. Thank God when my grandfather died in 1987, she bought the plot next to him. I, of course, want to give my grandma a grand farewell, but no one has stepped up to help. Everyone has a lot of criticism and judgment. The burial was supposed to be paid for by the 2 grandsons that stole her money and house, but of course, they offer nothing but to buy a casket, overnight it, and throw her in a grave. All they want is a death certificate so they can get her name off the title of that house. I'm disgusted and heartbroken over everything that has happened. My grandma has asked them repeatedly to sign that house back to her, and they laugh and walk away. I am so angry at them but have no idea how to fight them, and I really don't have the energy. I just want to lay my grandmother to rest and make sure I give her the simple wishes she asked for before she died. Now I have an extra expense of the burial because the cousins lied, and they only want to take from her, never give.

This is my wish for this fundraising. I have an estimate of $8,000. Every penny will go to her funeral arrangements. No one will profit from taking from my grandmother again, especially her family, that was supposed to protect her. Thanks for reading. I hope you gained some knowledge about elder abuse and can prevent this from happening to your loved one.