Help Janet Provide Stability for Lily and Charlii

Thank You for taking the time to read this story.

This fundraiser is being set up for my sister, Janet Anderson Kalivas. The picture you see is that of her two beautiful granddaughters, Lily and Charlii. Their parents, my nephew and his former girlfriend, have spent most of their lives in and out of jail, with most of the crimes involving the use, possession, sale, and distribution of meth and other drugs. During those times they were not in jail, they had Lily and Charlii. Janet has been caring for her granddaughters since their birth, and there were years in there she had to fight to gain custody to get them out of a very bad situation. In 2017, my nephew and his girlfriend were arrested for running a large drug ring in Larimer County, Colorado. They both received long prison sentences. When that happened, custody of Lily and Charlii was finally awarded to my sister.

Sadly, situations such as Janet's are becoming more common, with more and more grandparents having to raise their grandchildren. Federal, state and local governments will provide some financial assistance in the form of foster care support, welfare and Medicaid; however, it is not enough. There are retired grandparents on fixed incomes that never planned to take on the additional expenses associated with raising their grandchildren, and then there are those grandparents, like my sister, who have to work to be able to afford housing, car payments, insurance, and childcare. They face ageism in hiring, and they need jobs which offer the flexibility needed to care for young children. There are not enough programs that provide the necessary financial assistance that grandparents need to be able to properly care for their new family.

Lily was born in 2010 while both her parents were in jail. Janet had to step in and she became Lily's temporary guardian shortly after she was born. Charlii came along in 2015, and was only 2 years old when my sister finally became her custodial parent. There was a brief period when both parents were out of jail, and the state felt it was better for the children that they be returned to their parents. This was a bad time, my sister knew that my nephew was not going to stay clean, and she fought hard to regain custody. This was also a very traumatizing time for Lily and Charlii. I have heard stories of them being left alone in the middle of the night, and times when their mother was using while she was supposed to be caring for them.

Lily and Charlii are now safe and with their grandmother, and she has worked hard to provide them with a stable home. The challenge for Janet has been being able to find stable employment that will allow her to work from home, or provide the flexible scheduling needed so that the two girls do not end up in daycare or with babysitters. Outside childcare is expensive, and it can make Lily and Charlii feel less secure. My sister found that contract work was the best fit for her to be able to work from home and provide for Lily and Charlii; however, there have been intervals lasting one, two, maybe three, months where my sister was between contracts. This last year has been especially tough.

Janet's last contract job ended in April of 2023. In June of that year, being no longer able to cope with the pain, and needing to be able to keep up with Lily and Charlii, my sister had knee replacement surgery. The recovery period was only supposed to be a few weeks, but while Janet was home recuperating, she developed a serious infection that landed her back in the hospital for an extended period. The new knee had to be removed, and it took almost 6 months to clear the infection to the point the surgeons were comfortable with replacing the knee. Since she was cleared to go back to work in February of 2024, Janet has been trying to get a new job, but she faces the challenge of her age, and that she needs to find something that will allow her the flexibility she needs to care for Lily and Charlii. There have been many interviews, but no offers. It has been demoralizing for Janet. She has a Bachelor's Degree in Accounting, and is very talented at what she does. She wants to work.

To add to the burden, the older granddaughter, Lily, has some serious behavioral problems. A few years back, she was diagnosed with suffering from PTSD from the time that she was under her parents' care. Being left alone with her little sister was terrifying for Lily. How does a little girl who is all of 5 or 6 years old process this? The trauma is serious, and the damage it causes is permanent. As Lily has gotten older, and is trying to fully understand who her parents really are, the trauma she suffered has kept her from being able to sort out all of the anger, embarrassment, and insecurity that plagues her. Lily now has depressive episodes, and is extremely combative. She has damaged property, and attempted to harm herself. My sister also fears that Lily, if provoked enough, could harm her or Charlii. Lily will not stay in school, lies compulsively, and will not even talk with her grandmother. She has run away a few times, sometimes for 2 or 3 days at a time. Police intervention has been sought, but they have provided very little assistance. Lily has had extensive counseling, and local agencies have provided mentors for Lily to help her work through everything, but none of it has really worked. Lily is almost 14 now, but my sister cannot leave Lily alone in the house for fear that Lily will cause damage, or will run away again. All of this disruption has not been helpful as Janet tries to find work.

Since April of last year I have had been providing financial support to help cover the rent for Janet's condo, and when her car was re-possessed, I purchased a replacement car for her to use. All of this financial support through this last year, along with all that has been provided since 2010, has added up and I am embarrassed to say that I am at the point where my well is running dry. This is reason I am seeking some help from my community of friends. I have waited as long as possible before taking this step, but Janet still needs financial assistance so that she can continue to care for Lily and Charlii.

The goal amount for this fundraising effort is to provide enough to cover Janet's rent for the next few months. I can keep covering car payments and insurance, and provide some more on top of that, but I just cannot come up with all that is needed. She needs to get current with her rent so that she does not need to move, especially at at time when the household just needs normalcy. All the money raised through this effort will go directly to Janet. Any help she receives is a blessing for which we will be forever grateful.

Thank You!