Help Jen Reed care for her young grandkids

Hi, I'm Jennifer aka Gramma Jen. I am asking for your support to care for three of my youngest grandkids to keep them out of foster care. This is a hard ask for me as I'm used to being hyper-independent. You see. . .

Late one night at the end of March, I got a call from the local police asking me if I could pick up three of my grandkids, twin boys aged 2 years (as of May) and their 3-year-old brother. No adults were sober in the home and there was evidence of drug use and violence. Their father (my son) was no longer living there. Their mother had recently moved in a new bf who had a history of substance use and abuse.

Fast forward 4 months, and Jace, Brendon, and Brayden are still living with me to avoid foster care placement. Their mom is now without housing and seeking recovery.

We finally went to court on July 12th based on the Public Children Services Agency (PCSA, aka child protective services) filing papers after 3 months on a "safety plan." The judge granted me legal temporary custody of the three little boys as a kinship caregiver. The now ex-bf had a no contact order placed on him. I was told to expect to have the kids for another 9-12 months. . . if all goes well with their mom.

Their dad (my son) has unsupervised visitation, but he can't get custody at this time because of his prior marijuana-related court record. I was ordered to supervise all of their mom's visits. Their dad is currently more focused on helping their mom, which is his prerogative. My focus is the young kids.

Their mom is continuing to receive their child support (yeah...) because the PCSA did not take custody of the kids but asked the court to temporarily grant it to me under their protective supervision. I would have to file for it for the kids myself. However, the court costs look prohibitive compared to the return.

I wasn't prepared for this and kids are expensive. Young ones especially also take a lot of time. On top of the increased expense, caring for them has curtailed my ability to work.

Immediate needs included purchasing 3 of the three-across car seats to fit in the back seat of my compact car (my only vehicle). I bought toddler beds, dressers, bean bag chairs, and several necessities. I explored what assistance I could qualify for and thankfully secured food and health insurance for the growing boys.

The boys also qualified for a small monthly stabilization payment (known as OWF in Ohio) for up to 12 months. It's less for all 3 kids combined than foster parents receive for 1 child. (In Ohio, foster parents receive $20/day per child.) I'm grateful for this small boost though.

I talked with a couple of agencies, including OhioKAN (Kinship & Adoption Navigator) that recommended I look into becoming a foster parent. I learned about a new state program (i.e., KGAP) that helps kinship caregivers become foster parents.

I soon found out the PCSA has to take custody of the kids to participate. The county we live in is choosing not to do that. Rather, they are pushing the courts for the kinship caregiver to obtain temporary custody with their supervision vs the PCSA having custody. This potential KGAP benefit that leads to becoming a foster parent is then unavailable.

It was at that point, when we couldn't qualify for foster care benefits or even receive their child support, I realized that we needed help from our community.

All 3 kiddos are still in diapers -- they experienced trauma around potty training and the oldest has digestive issues which his doctor said causes a delay. (We are now working on it!) I've gotten diapers from local diaper banks, but they have allergic reactions to almost all of them and none of them are good for overnight.

Furthermore, we're staying with family in an environment that is less than ideal and rather unsupportive, but have been making it work as the situation unfolded. Now that I know this kinship arrangement will be longer-term (at least 9-12 months), I would like to make a plan to move elsewhere.

We had constant appointments for the first few months including weekly check-ins with PCSA after the safety plan was put in place. A bright spot was that the kids had recently begun attending Early Head Start providing some structure for them and respite for me. Still, the hours are limited and I had to provide transportation.

My backstory is (if you are interested). . .

I moved back to Appalachian Ohio near family going into the second year of the Covid-19 pandemic. I had 6 grandkids living in the area then as it was before the twins were born. I was doing well financially working remotely at that time. Not coming from generational wealth, I used that money to pay off debt and help my family. I obtained my Ph.D. in sociology at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas (UNLV) in the summer of 2019 after my two kids were grown. I was a teen mom.

I taught English to 3rd and 6th graders in China for the following semester and then the pandemic hit. Luckily, I was already back in the USA and had accepted a postdoctoral research position at Stanford U. However, the funding for the research project was discontinued because of the health risks of in-person work and the limitations of moving it to remote.

I was also teaching college courses online. After 3 years of only working remotely, I picked up a part-time bridge job at a local establishment serving coffee and donuts in the early morning. I wanted to work with people again in-person and in my local community that I moved back to. Then college enrollments dropped and I lost the courses I had been teaching online.

So, I started training in January to transfer my research skills to the medical lab. Then the Norfolk Southern train derailment chemical disaster happened in East Palestine, less than 30 miles away from me on my birthday. I got sick from the "(un)controlled burn" of toxic chemicals a couple of days later.

I went to express care to get prescription medications to handle the acute health effects. And started a regimen of supplements as recommended by a naturopathic doctor to combat the potential long-term health effects. As a result, I had to drop my medical training. (I am participating in health studies regarding toxic chemical exposure from the train derailment.)

As my health improved, I started onboarding for a new behavioral health job requiring several background checks. That's when I got the call to come get the grandkids. So, that job (including an hour's commute each way) got put on hold. Now that I have temporary custody, I am exploring my work (and childcare) options again. I am open to suggestions and creative solutions.

The kids need a lot. And I need help. I love these babies and want to do right by them. I can't do this alone. If you are able and feel called to do so, please help me support them. Thank you! I Love You.