Help Kovan Transition to His True Self

In December 2020 my partner shared something so very precious to him; he does not feel comfortable, happy, or like himself in the body he was born with. I love this human to his core and it broke my heart to know he was pushing that part of him down deep his whole life.

If you know Kovan, you likely know his story. Adopted from birth and raised to love unconditionally, his parents disowned him several times after being forced by a family member to come out as a lesbian before he was ready and felt safe enough to do so. Being adopted and taught to love unconditionally, but being disowned for loving the same gender literally makes no sense to me, but he will always love his family regardless of what they put him through. Every time he tried to rekindle their relationship it set him back financially, mentally, emotionally, etc. He has had no contact with his family for a couple years now and they have no idea how he is doing or about the fact that he has come out again as identifying as a man.

Kovan is finally starting to feel more stable and is receiving therapy through the Utah Pride Center to better himself and move forward with his transition. Thinking about everything he's been through pushes me to tears often, Even his therapist was unable to continue with a recent session after discussing his family's history and traumas due to being overwhelmed with empathetic emotions. We're now engaged and have our own little family, despite all the setbacks and painful experiences we've both been through. As excited as we are to get married, it's hard to even think of financing a wedding while my fiance doesn't feel like his true self.

After doing some research I've discovered how expensive it is to transition, even with health insurance. With health insurance that is actually inclusive for the LGBTQIA+ community, costs for a decent/good transition for female to male is around $30,000. A basic/minimum needs met transition can be $20,000. We are still researching if his current health insurance is inclusive or not. This cost estimate does NOT include personal expenses that come along with transitioning that you might not realize, like boarding our furbabies if I need/want to be with him at the hospital for x amount of time, buying an entirely new wardrobe that fits him properly after surgeries, etc. At first I thought I should set the bar to the $20,000 because it seemed more plausible. However, I want my person to feel completely comfortable and ecstatic in his body, not so-so, hence the $30,000. Of course, anything helps and we are grateful for whatever amount is doable during such a hectic time with this pandemic.

Lastly, Kovan wants to transition privately and does not want to show progress updates like some others do when they're transitioning. Not to say that it's not personal to those who do post progress updates, but it's personal to him in that sense and if he chooses to show progress to anyone, it will likely only be with close friends and family.

Thank you so much to anyone who contributes; we appreciate the love and support! We love to love you.