help lgbt person escape abusive house
Donation protected
hello everyone, i kinda hoped i’d never have to do this because i’m very well aware that there’s ppl who need money more than me rn but 2020 fucked me over.
everyone who knows me knows that i do not wanna share anything abt my past or my life in general and what i’m about to share is smth only 3 people in my life know abt (abusers excluded lol).
i’m jhulie, a nonbinary bi person who’s been trying for years now to escape their abusive household with very little success and with covid and national lockdown (im italian and we’ve had quarantine enforced) my living situation has become unbearable.
i’ve been lucky enough to have had the chance to have a therapy journey that has helped me heal and become a completely different person, i relied on it and my own resources to try my best to pull myself out of my own hellscape (both out of pride and to prove myself i could do it on my own). i had managed this year to finally get a job that would allow me to leave my mother and start my own life and of course 1 month into my new job covid happened, so i’m now relying on the kindness of strangers.
my mother is genuinely a terrible person - aside from being bigoted and homophobic (i’ll get to that soon). she herself comes from an abusive household where she was abused by her father sexually and no one in her family ever did anything abt it, and when i was born and my parents were at work and couldn’t look after me they left me with her parents. so, of course, i have also been abused. on top of that, she has abused me emotionally, psychologically and physically from birth, put me in dangerous situations on purpose and got mad at me whenever bad things happened to me because of her.
she has used me as her emotional dumpster for my whole life, blamed me for everything that’s ever happened to her and turned me into barely a person. i spent age 20-24 as a recluse, never leaving my room due to panic attacks and contemplating suicide daily. despite all that i refused to give up and pulled myself out of my depression and managed to heal and better myself but the process has been grueling and exhausting because every time i managed to make some progress she’d do (and continues to do) all she can in order to push me back to where i was.
on to the homophobia and why i cannot take this anymore: a while back (after 4 - FOUR - months of continued forced coexistence) she forced me to come out to her (again, because i already did years ago) after telling me some very bigoted stuff, which led to her yelling at me that i’m a perverted disgusting person, that being bisexual is unnatural and i should b ashamed of myself etc. she (as she already has done many times before) threatened me to take me to an exorcist so that she can heal the gay out of me or whatever. i don’t even know what the fuck she would do if she knew i was nonbinary (or what nonbinary even is). shit like this used to scare the living hell out of me, this time i just took my shit and left for a while until she cooled off. it goes without saying that i cannot keep living in this context. i owe it to myself to get the fuck out so i can become the person i FINALLY know i can be.
as you can gather from my family history i have no family members i can turn to for economic help, because i cut ties with all my family members for what they did to me. my mother refuses to give me money even just to buy groceries most of the time, which is draining what little money i had saved, and my father has helped as much as he could but he himself is in a very bad economic situation.
i have an escape plan laid out, i have a place where i can move out to and i know my boss wants to take me back to work from september, so now all i need is some money so that i can start moving out and pay rent + various expenses as soon as possible (if i waited for my job to start again i’d have to wait months until i could have enough money to leave, sadly). i don’t need any more than € 4,000 by the beginning of september to get on my feet and be able to live alone. i know it’s a LOT of money. believe me. and i understand no one has money rn. but i just have to try.
thank u for reading all this and thank u for your kindness
everyone who knows me knows that i do not wanna share anything abt my past or my life in general and what i’m about to share is smth only 3 people in my life know abt (abusers excluded lol).
i’m jhulie, a nonbinary bi person who’s been trying for years now to escape their abusive household with very little success and with covid and national lockdown (im italian and we’ve had quarantine enforced) my living situation has become unbearable.
i’ve been lucky enough to have had the chance to have a therapy journey that has helped me heal and become a completely different person, i relied on it and my own resources to try my best to pull myself out of my own hellscape (both out of pride and to prove myself i could do it on my own). i had managed this year to finally get a job that would allow me to leave my mother and start my own life and of course 1 month into my new job covid happened, so i’m now relying on the kindness of strangers.
my mother is genuinely a terrible person - aside from being bigoted and homophobic (i’ll get to that soon). she herself comes from an abusive household where she was abused by her father sexually and no one in her family ever did anything abt it, and when i was born and my parents were at work and couldn’t look after me they left me with her parents. so, of course, i have also been abused. on top of that, she has abused me emotionally, psychologically and physically from birth, put me in dangerous situations on purpose and got mad at me whenever bad things happened to me because of her.
she has used me as her emotional dumpster for my whole life, blamed me for everything that’s ever happened to her and turned me into barely a person. i spent age 20-24 as a recluse, never leaving my room due to panic attacks and contemplating suicide daily. despite all that i refused to give up and pulled myself out of my depression and managed to heal and better myself but the process has been grueling and exhausting because every time i managed to make some progress she’d do (and continues to do) all she can in order to push me back to where i was.
on to the homophobia and why i cannot take this anymore: a while back (after 4 - FOUR - months of continued forced coexistence) she forced me to come out to her (again, because i already did years ago) after telling me some very bigoted stuff, which led to her yelling at me that i’m a perverted disgusting person, that being bisexual is unnatural and i should b ashamed of myself etc. she (as she already has done many times before) threatened me to take me to an exorcist so that she can heal the gay out of me or whatever. i don’t even know what the fuck she would do if she knew i was nonbinary (or what nonbinary even is). shit like this used to scare the living hell out of me, this time i just took my shit and left for a while until she cooled off. it goes without saying that i cannot keep living in this context. i owe it to myself to get the fuck out so i can become the person i FINALLY know i can be.
as you can gather from my family history i have no family members i can turn to for economic help, because i cut ties with all my family members for what they did to me. my mother refuses to give me money even just to buy groceries most of the time, which is draining what little money i had saved, and my father has helped as much as he could but he himself is in a very bad economic situation.
i have an escape plan laid out, i have a place where i can move out to and i know my boss wants to take me back to work from september, so now all i need is some money so that i can start moving out and pay rent + various expenses as soon as possible (if i waited for my job to start again i’d have to wait months until i could have enough money to leave, sadly). i don’t need any more than € 4,000 by the beginning of september to get on my feet and be able to live alone. i know it’s a LOT of money. believe me. and i understand no one has money rn. but i just have to try.
thank u for reading all this and thank u for your kindness
Organizer
Giuliana G.
Organizer
Rome, LZ