Help Lorelai and Bell Get Out of This Crapsack.

Hi, I'm Lorelai Sabrina, you may know me from such posts as "the Jughead speech from Riverdale except it's a witch hat", or "we must imagine the Itsy Bitsy Spider happy", or seeing me post my literal ass.

My roommate and I are in desperate need of a new apartment because we live in a horrible little apartment with uneven floors, a narrow hallway from where the entire basement was walled off to provide a laundry room for the complex, smokers who sit right outside the window of an asthmatic, a completely incomprehensible breaker layout, and hot water that never lasts long enough for a shower, among other issues. It's terrible, and we don't want to be locked into a year long lease. And the month to month lease is some Dick Turpin bullshit. Straight up banditry.

We're unfortunately also both very poor, and unable to work on account of the panic attacks and crying and the chronic physical pain from the decaying shells of meat we must consider our bodies, which minimum wage labor tends to frown on. Autism, anxiety, severe depression, we're basket cases. That is why we are turning to you, hat in hand, and asking for support in this transition, while we also unfortunately deal with gender transitions in the dying days of an empire. Roomie is still recovering from surgery, and has another one coming soon. I had wanted to wait until ze was recovered, but if we don't act now we'll have to sign onto a year long lease.

Please, I am begging you to help us. We need to get somewhere nicer. Ideally we don't need too much, we're not asking for a year of rent or anything, but a little cushion to help pad the move and feed friends and helpers would grant us peace of mind.