Help for Mary Meru

Hello Dear Community,

Mary Meru reached out to me for support. She has landed in a very difficult time. Please take a moment to experience her vulnerable sharing. Any financial help will greatly support her as she tries to find her feet right now.

Dear Community,

My mental health is really bad and I can't fight my way through it in poverty the way I have been any longer.

I have filed for disability, which can be a frustrating and lengthy process. I need time to sort out a variety of medical issues, while I wait for the government to help. I now realize I can’t do this alone…

Your Support Will:

* Help stabilize my mental health.

* Allow for post-surgery doctor’s visits.

* Help with out of pocket medical expenses.

* Help with urgent dental care.

* Help allow access to social dancing, which has become unaffordable… but is one thing I desperately need.

Initial Priorities: $5,000

* Access mental health services and medications.

* Pre-pay for living situation to stabilize my stress level and prevent homelessness.

Medical Expense Needs: $10,000

(I have state health insurance that only covers a tiny fraction of essential care.)

* Blood tests

* Physical therapy to manage pain/promote healing.

* Steroid injections for pain management and healing.

Dental Care: $5,000-$10,000

* Bridge

* Partial

* Deteriorating Implant - jaw surgery & gum graft, if that fails, implant post-removal and needed flipper (denture)

As difficult as it is to ask for help. . . I have to ask for help. I've tried to get through writing this ask for 6+ months now, and I couldn’t bring myself to the vulnerability. I didn't know how to explain what I was going through or how much to share. It's was, and still is, a triggering situation for me.

The culmination of events over the last several years have been especially difficult for me and have taken a huge emotional and physiological toll. I was barely functional before the Covid pandemic and life just seems to keep piling more and more on my plate than I can manage. I can't do it without help any longer.

Unfortunately, mental health continues to decline and my suicide risk rise increases. I'm not doing okay, and I have to turn to sharing authentically to survive.

It’s difficult to survive each day, and takes everything that I have. For anyone concerned, I do have an active suicide-prevention plan and will use it if necessary.

My Personal Journey:

Due to various life factors, I have applied for a mental health disability. I have fought the acceptance of this difficult reality for many many years, but I am unable to afford/continue living on the edge trying to pretend that everything is fine.

I have struggled with Major Depressive Disorder, Anxeity, and Complex PTSD for the last 20+ years. It's been a lonley journey feeling misunderstood, often being dismissed, getting vague medical answers, and being given various medications that had didn’t help. It's quite difficult to find a good provider or access adequate, affordable care. I need safety and stability to survive.

I also have Eihlers-Danlos Syndrome. It's a connective tissue disorder that effects all connective tissue in the body. My joints and muscles are constantly in pain, I get migraines, and it contributes to my oral health challenges. The threshold of my gums to support the dental framework is reaching a tipping point. I'll soon be loosing 3 teeth to irreparable gum recession, and an implant that is failing. My self confidence has tanked and made the joy of community even more painful to navigate.

Publicly admitting my inability to function as a 'normal' adult feels embarrassing and shameful. I feel I 'should' be able to mange so many simple things, but I simply can't. All I can do is accept my truth and try to find a path forward.

I often feel like I'm living a double life because what others see is so different from what I’m actually going through.

I know so many of us are struggling financially, or dealing with life and health issues. If you are in a position to donate, I humbly thank you.

With humility,

Mary