Help mDiyo find a home

I need some help with my living situation. It's a bit of a long story, and this is one of the hardest things in the world for me to do, so please keep that in mind.

I have some kind of neurological disorder that makes sounds too loud. My doctors believe that is Hyperacusis or Misophonia. The diagnosis is incomplete; I am seeing doctors as quickly as I can, but the process takes time. These disorders are rare, and my particular case seems to be on the less common end still, but nothing about my body really seems normal except for its appearance.

This disorder feeds into a bad situation in an even worse cycle: I am currently sleeping outside in a tent. The sound of cars will wake me out of a dead sleep, two hours in, on medication. Birds are particularly troublesome, as is specific wind speeds - Tree leaves can make me want to vomit and run for the hills.

I can't seem to hold down a job for very long because I don't have a good place to sleep, and I don't have a place to sleep because I can't hold down a job.

Some days are better than others; it almost always relates to how heavy traffic is in the morning or at night. Too much traffic in the morning means I get too little sleep, and too much traffic at night can make it hard to get to sleep for hours. I'm a lot less concerned by staying warm or having a place to be clean than a place to find some peace and quiet

When the sounds are too loud for too long, or when I get too little of my basic needs like sleep, my other senses can get involved. It's not uncommon for me to start seeing "spots", observe as the entire world starts getting louder, brighter, and smellier. My sense of balance starts to change the direction that gravity comes from, and I get a wonderful trip to the hospital at least once a month for migraines. Lately it's been closer to once a week.

These disorders have some other, more pernicious effects. I cannot drive a car for more than 5 minutes at a time, and 5 minutes is not long enough to go anywhere significant. Riding the bus is worse: An hour on the bus will cause nausea, hypersensitivity, and panic attacks for the next three hours. Staying inside a major business with its uniform lighting will give me at best a headache after an hour, and at worst another hospital trip.

If I could drive a truck, work in a retail environment, or find something else to pay rent at a minimum, I wouldn't be in this mess.

I've been in this situation for three months. I ran away from an abusive situation where hoarding and neglect were the default. At one point their pets had urinated so much inside that you couldn't walk in without ammonia burning your eyes. I've always been a bit weird, but I didn't grow up around abusive people so I wasn't on the lookout for anything remotely resembling the year of abuse they gave me.

I've been talking to a therapist for the last 4 months about this. There's a lot more things that I could say, but things are... better now. I'm getting more sleep now than I did there, which is saying something.

I've been dealing with these problems my entire life. The nature of the problems is such that if I take perfect care of myself, then the problems are minimal. I can't do that like this, and I'm completely despondent that it ended up like this. Nothing about this part of my life is how I want to view myself. Nothing about this is okay.

Please help me out. I just need a place to sleep for the night.