Help Me Break the Cycle for My Child

Hello.

I’m sending this to all the immediate members of my family and closest friends. As everyone surely knows, I’ve been in an ongoing custody dispute with my son’s dad, and so far, we are having to go all the way to a two-day trial with a jury. After a year and a half of stagnation and being under temporary orders, our pre-trial is finally scheduled for September 16 - that’s less than a month away.

Under temporary orders, Tilian’s dad has not followed a single court order and is still heavily drinking and smoking, including when he has Tilian. He does not support financially at all, hasn’t paid a dime of child support in four years, and has not paid his half of any of Tilian’s medical or extracurricular fees. He is not involved in anything school related as well, has never been to a single parent-teacher conference or any event except for his Kindergarten graduation - he is in third grade now. He was also charged with a Class A Misdemeanor last year for smoking with his then 13 year old daughter (Tilian’s older half sister). In addition, the day this GoGundMe was created, I mandated a hair follicle test (per my court rights), and he no-showed. This is just a reflection of what it’s been like to co-parent with him in two years time, let alone the entire 8 since our son has been born.

With all this said, he is still fighting for joint custody, and trying to make it impossible for us to move back home to Texas.

Us being ordered to stay in Utah away from our family and friends, strongly affects all of us, but especially our children. We do not have a village or any support here, I raise my children entirely alone, and Tilian and Olive deserve to be with family.

As most people also know, I emancipated myself from my father at 16 during my freshman year of high school, due to his alcoholism and other behaviors that are similar to Tilian’s dad. Though I was raising myself in highschool, I went to school every day, never got on drugs, worked every day after school at Roma’s Pizza as well as Main Street Bistro to literally pay rent on a little house I was renting on Peterson St in Jacksboro, and still graduated with multiple scholarships. I was still dealing with wounds and mental health and felt overall lost, so regrettably did not immediately go to college.

When I found out I was pregnant with my son at 22, I went to school full time in Salt Lake City to become a Certified Dental Assistant, graduated when I was 8 months pregnant, and have been doing that ever since. I’ve been working for the same boss since Tilian was 3 months old.

I am fighting to prevent Tilian to not have to experience the same pain and situations that I had to.

Unfortunately, legal fees are stacking up and it is causing us to get behind on all basic things, including bills.

Because there is nobody here I can rely on, I have been a stay at home mom and only working 1-3 days a week so I can raise our children. With the attorney costs, this leaves my husband, Corey, in a position where he has to carry most of our bills and our mortgage. He travels for work, so again, this contributes to me having to stay home with the kids.

With the kids both being in school now, with my youngest just starting kindergarten, I will be working more as of late September. But unfortunately, that won’t be in time for our pre-trial date on September 16th.

I am desperate, and I need to finish this custody case for my son’s best interest and well-being, and feel that with all the evidence I have over the last two years, this is the last chance I will have for my family’s happiness and wellbeing, including my own. These last 8 years in isolation has made it the hardest era in my life, and not one that many have to experience.

Please also know, that I am not, and would never be the type of mother to create a nonexistent relationship between my son and his dad. That is not what I’m fighting for in this case. I’m just asking the State of Utah for justice and balance: for me to go home to raise my kids responsibly as I already carry all of the primary parental weight, but where I can be surrounded and supported by loved ones; and for him to have Tilian during summers and holidays under the condition that he is sober and clean.

I hired one of the top attorneys in Utah, Jake Hinkins, and he’s also amongst one of the top 100 in the nation. You can find more insight at Anderson | Hinkins (www.hinkinslaw.com).

I understand everyone has their own hectic lives and experiencing hardships of their own, or maybe some prefer to not be involved. But if you feel moved to, please, please, help out if you can (even $10 would help me get to the goal).

We love and miss you all, and thank you for any kind of consideration. If nothing else, please pray.

We sincerely thank you,

Rachel, Corey, and family.