Help me keep my child alive

My name is Brigid, and my 14 year old tried to kill themself.

I'm hoping to raise funds to cover costs of their recovery and healing, to keep them safe.

Several months ago we pulled my kid from school because it was so stressful. They were being aggressively bullied, including sexually harassed, and the staff weren't helpful. My kid was having panic attacks nearly daily at school, and then started having panic attacks at home while getting ready for school. One panic attack at school left them shaking and nonverbal for over forty five minutes after my husband brought them home.

We signed this poor kid up with a therapist, we managed to get them on medication. They went from seeing a therapist once a week to seeing her twice a week. They increased their medication dose. They started opening up. They got approved to attend school virtually through our public school system.

They were still obviously depressed, though. They weren't the way they had been before school started. Some of this could be chalked up to being 14 but most of it just felt dark... they had difficulty bathing, they had difficulty eating, they had horrible insomnia, they picked fights with friends over nothing. They stopped doing the things they enjoy doing. They were withdrawn, quiet. My talkative, charismatic kid stopped hanging out with friends. They stopped giving more than two or three word answers. They answered "I dunno" to almost every question, including questions like "what do you want for dinner" and "do your shoes fit" and "do you want twizzlers or sweet tarts."

A week and a half ago my child admitted to suicidal ideation and recent self harm. We brought them to the emergency room and were ultimately offered the option of admitting them or taking them home. The ER experience was traumatic and we chose to take them home, which I regret, because my child tried to kill themself this Saturday.

My husband and I were both able to take paid time off work for this entire week, March 20-25. We've spent most of this week in the hospital with our kid, making sure they're safe. We are currently locking up all prescription and OTC medications, all chemicals, all sharp objects, all alcohol, even things like glass items that can be broken. After this week, though, I'm out of paid time off.

Our child is starting a virtual partial hospitalization program this coming Monday. "Virtual" means that they will be staying at home with no in-person physical supervision outside of myself or my husband.

We need to stay home with our child. We need to keep this sweet, funny, creative child safe. We need to keep this wonderful young human alive until they're thriving again.

The problem is I'll have to take any further time off unpaid.

Then, of course, there's the medical costs.

In two weeks we've had two ER visits, a transfer by ambulance, a 4 day hospital stay, and now we're facing down the cost of a four week psychiatric program. We have health insurance, but health insurance only covers so much in the USA.

My husband and I both need to start therapy and we will be starting family therapy as well.

We also need to buy locking containers as well as replace existing interior doors with doors that have locks to store fertilizer and toilet cleaner and kitchen knives and cough medicine with tylenol and those sort of things in those rooms. The costs add up.

I don't know how we're going to handle this financially. My goal is to cover my wages for one week, the hospital costs, and miscellaneous costs like locking bins etc. If we manage to raise more than that I'd like to be out of work taking care of my child for longer. Financial constraints are the only reason I'm not taking an entire month off.

I cannot express how terrifying this is to anyone who hasn't lived it. Ideally I'd like my child in an in-person partial hospitalization program but that's not an option that we have. They need an adult during the day. They need in-person support. They need me and my husband and that's so incredibly expensive.

The simple act of caring for a child, keeping a child alive, shouldn't be this expensive.

It shouldn't hinge on someone's bank account.

But it's not something we can do without help.