Help My Mom Recover From Elder Abuse

Hi, My name is David and my mom and I need your help.

My mom, Rae, is 84 and showing signs of cognitive decline and has short term memory deficits. As a result, she has been financially exploited and psychologically abused by someone close to her that she trusted. Her retirement nest-egg has been completely drained and there is significant debt racked up in her name. To make matters worse, her home since 1974 has been severely neglected by those that she trusted and it has fallen into major disrepair. The abuser has been removed but the house needs significant work to be clean, safe and functional.

My mom retired in 2021 after 55 years in academia. During her long career as a sociologist, she touched many lives. She mentored countless students and helped launch their careers and through her field work, improved the lives of families throughout the third world. Sadly, around the time she retired, she began to develop symptoms of cognitive decline. It was during this time that she was repeatedly coerced, deceived and manipulated into sharing more and more of her money under the pretense of a business investment. She trusted the individual who did this and did it out of love that was clearly not returned.

Due to her short term memory loss, she remembers very little detail of how much money was asked of her and how frequently. When we contacted her banks and discovered how much was taken she became very distressed and has been experiencing depression and anxiety. It was also apparent she was being neglected and that very little was done to facilitate her health and well-being. Her living environment was emotionally toxic, isolating and physically dangerous. If I hadn’t stepped in when I did, this could have been a very different set of circumstances. She is staying with us for now and her quality of life has improved. She is eating better foods, healthier, getting regular medical treatment and reconnecting with her friends and family.

This has been unbelievably hard and stressful for us. My wife and I have spent much of our own savings to help with legal expenses, cover bills and support my mom while we work to stabilize her finances, protect her from creditors, future abuse, and save her home. She has worked hard all of her life and all she dreamed about is aging in place in the home that she loves. Now that future is in question.

I am urgently asking for help to get my mom back on her feet. While I am asking for funds I am also asking for other sorts of assistance, particularly from folks who may live locally.

Here is the ask:

Funds. Roughly $ 50,000 is needed to help pay for:

Legal, accounting and fiduciary fees ~ 10k

Overdue bills and credit debt ~ 20k

Repairs to the house ~ 20k

Other help. If you are not able to give but want to help, we are looking for:

Skilled tradespeople (carpenters, drywall/painting, flooring, electrical/plumbing, glazing)

Materials and home fixtures (countertops, cabinets, flooring, paint, wood, etc)

Temporary storage for furniture and contents while repairs take place

Helping hands to help with clean up and clean out

Please do what you can. If you are unable to help, please consider forwarding this to anyone you might think can help. If you have questions, please feel free to contact me.

***UPDATE***

To date we have raised approximately 5k. This money will go towards much needed repairs to my mom’s house. We have had many friends offer to lend a hand with clean up and repair- we even have an engineering firm offering to donate some labor! As you can imagine, the funds raised are a huge help but not quite enough to get the house to the point where we can get my mom situated, let alone pay outstanding bills. Please consider sharing this request for help with anyone who you might think can help.

Thank you for your consideration.

Kind regards,

David