help pay bills after multiple failed spinal surgeries

Hi, I’m Jaco. I’m writing this to share the story of my wife, Eva—my childhood best friend and the love of my life. After decades apart, I moved from South Africa to Belgium to marry her, never imagining that our life together would be shaped by such immense health challenges.

Eva turns 41 this weekend, but instead of celebrating, she’s bracing for her 7th spinal surgery, set for just three days later—her third this year. This means Eva will be spending Christmas in the hospital, recovering from what we hope will finally bring her some relief.

We now know her spinal issues stem from faulty collagen caused by Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a hereditary connective tissue disorder that weakens the structural integrity of her spine and other joints. The last two surgeries failed due to medical oversight, and now she’s facing an even more invasive, urgent spinal surgery (by another surgeon) that we hope will finally offer some relief.

Throughout her life, Eva has faced relentless pain with quiet strength and extraordinary perseverance. She’s a self-employed psychotherapist who has spent her career helping others navigate life’s hardest challenges while privately battling her own.

Even as her condition has worsened, she’s continued to show up for her clients, friends, and family—all while pushing through the physical strain and managing the demands of daily life as best she can.

The Medical Journey:

Eva’s battle began around age 11 when she developed severe kyphoscoliosis, requiring her first corrective spinal surgery at 14.

Because her single mother didn’t have health insurance in South Africa, they moved back to Belgium with her baby sister so she could get the care she needed here.

Her spine was reconstructed with rods in a grueling 12-hour procedure that involved removing ribs and breaking her rib cage. She thought that would be it, but just a year later at 15, she needed a full spinal fusion, and by 19, the hardware of the second surgery had to be removed due to severe inflammation.

At 26, she endured a fourth spinal surgery that went so poorly she was determined to avoid another at all costs. Over the years, she tried epidural injections, denervations (nerve ablations), physiotherapy, ketamine infusions, and other supportive treatments to help manage her condition, but her health continued to decline.

Due to a nearly 30-year delay in diagnosing the underlying condition that caused all these issues (hEDS), doctors performed multiple invasive spinal surgeries without taking into account the EDS. This was the case in her most recent surgeries, where the surgeon failed to consider her hypermobility and severe spinal instability, overlooking the need for fusion surgery alongside the decompression surgeries he performed in her neck and lower back earlier this year.

Because of this “failure to fuse”, the removed arthritis, severe stenosis, and badly herniated / bulging discs returned with a vengeance, both in her upper and lower back. Removing the stenosis also led to increased spinal instability, which caused another cyst to grow rapidly, worsening compression and pain, and leaving her in urgent need of additional revision surgeries.

Tragically, even today, EDS and other connective tissue disorders are still severely under-taught in medical school, leaving many doctors dangerously ill-equipped to identify or properly treat these complex conditions.

Living with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome:

Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome doesn’t just affect Eva’s spine—it impacts virtually every system in her body:

* Collapsed lungs, frequent bruising, slow healing

* Asthma, allergies (MCAS), digestive issues, nausea, malabsorption

* Tachycardia, dysautonomia, chronic fatigue

* Migraines, depression, ADHD, insomnia, widespread joint pain

For years, Eva downplayed even her most severe health issues, not wanting to burden others. She endured unimaginable pain while continuing to support those around her. Even when she couldn’t stand for more than a few minutes, she kept working as much as she could and showing up for her patients.

Now, she can’t hide how difficult things have become—and I can’t watch her fight this alone anymore.

Why We’re Asking for Help:

Over the past 30 years, Eva’s health challenges have come with considerable costs—financial, emotional, and physical. While Belgium’s healthcare system covers a significant portion of expenses, the uncovered costs keep adding up.

Even though we’ve done everything possible to manage these costs—selling our home and downsizing to a more accessible home outside the city—we’re financially overwhelmed, especially with another urgent surgery on the horizon. This extra financial pressure does not help with recovery.

* Medical expenses not covered by insurance

* Recovery and rehabilitation costs

* Accessibility upgrades and mobility aids

* Living expenses while Eva is unable to work

* Transport costs to get her to doctor appointments and physical therapy

* Or longer term, a wheelchair-friendly car: we’d eventually like to replace our car with a wheelchair accessible one so she can get out of the house by herself again. She can’t use public transport anymore due to being severely limited in walking and not having the upper body strength to independently use her wheelchair (we are still waiting on approval for an electric mobility aid).

* An ergonomic recliner chair

* A new ergonomic matras after sleeping on the same one for 12 years

If you’re able to contribute financially, even the smallest amount can make a big difference. And if donating isn’t an option, simply sharing this page would mean so much to us. Eva is the strongest person I know—my greatest source of strength and inspiration. She has carried so much on her own for far too long. Now it’s our turn to have her back and help lighten her load.

With all my heart, thank you.

Jaco
(Eva’s husband and lifelong best friend)