Help piss Brad Witt off!
Donation protected
We are reaching out today to let you know that one of the best friends and greatest fucking people we know needs all of our help.
Bradley Evan Witt, Esq. the 3rd. (OK that last part is bullshit).
To fill in the backstory for anyone who isn't caught up, Brad has (to say the least) had more than his fair share of health issues over the past several years. Early in 2020, a tumor was found to be freeloading in his kidney (in the old, no longer functional, one). It looked to be completely encapsulated in the old kidney and an operation was scheduled to take the whole thing out. Minimal risk (as minimal as major surgery's risk can be) and a maximum chance at full and complete recovery. A shitty turn of events but a high probability of a successful resolution.
But then, DUN DUN DUN, along comes COVID. And COVID doing what COVID does, the operation had to be postponed because of new hospital guidelines. Fast forward several months and Brad finally gets the surgery to remove the kidney and the completely encapsulated tumor, only by now, the tumor has decided to stretch its fucking legs and look around for larger digs.
Not what anyone was hoping for.
The operation otherwise went smoothly and all of the cancer was removed. There was a possibility the cancer (as this particular cancer is known to do) could return at some point but things were looking up when a few months later all of his scans were clear of cancer and Brad was feeling well.
Sadly, homeostasis (I was told to use big words so Brad wouldn’t know we were talking about him) would not win the day. In late December Brad, after being in pain for some time, found out that the cancer had returned much sooner than anticipated.
This time in 2 locations: Right where the old kidney was and in another, private location, he doesn’t want to talk about (it rhymes with mutsack).
Now Brad is waiting for another operation to be scheduled to have these tumors removed. The operation will not be as simple as the previous one and will require a substantial rehab time of at least 12 weeks.
There are well-respected Cancer specialists in Vancouver (https://www.ctoam.com/ ) that can sequence the cancer along with Brad’s DNA and provide him with the best imaging and prescribe for him the best therapy, drugs, doctors, and recovery protocol for him to fight this thing. But their expertise doesn't come cheap.
You all know Brad and know that he isn’t a complainer or a whiner and is not going to lay down and let this beat him. He is a fighter and we all know he will beat this. But right now he needs our help. He will have medical bills up the ying-yang combined with not being able to work for at least 3 months. And who knows what other unforeseen costs will appear.
Brad was against us setting this GoFundMe up because he didn’t feel comfortable asking for help from his friends.
We say fuck him and what he wants!
Won’t you join us is PISSING BRAD OFF and donating some money - every little bit will help - towards our goal? PLEASE only give if you can afford to. We know these are tougher than normal times financially for a lot of people. If you can’t afford anything right now, be a pal and write something distasteful about Brad in the comments - references to the circumference of his head or the inadequacy of his weiner are always appreciated.
Thanks – and watch for updates.
You don’t need to read any further as the rest of this will be gibberish at best – or maybe a record review. We’re not sure yet but research is telling us that these types of campaigns do better if they are right around 1000 words.
Go ahead and do a word count. This will be 1000 words on the nose!
Boys, as you are getting older you (although Brad Witt didn't until very late) may notice that you are getting an 'Adam's apple'. This is your larynx or voice box getting larger and sticking out at the front of your throat. Your voice may seem to be all over the place, squeaky then deep or even sound like it is cracking. Don't worry - when your larynx has finished growing your voice will sound 'normal' again and probably a bit deeper than before.
Penis gets longer and wider - Brad would be able to argue against this being the case.
Your testicles get larger - actually, funny story for another time but Brad would not argue with this - perhaps with the timing though...
Breasts look like they're developing a bit! (Don't worry this is quite normal and usually goes away by the end of puberty. See our topic Boys' breasts for more information.) Just don't stay home from school to play with them as Brad did. He almost failed grade 12 he missed so many days.
Apart from hair starting to grow on your body, it also grows on your face, or on your bum as Brad's did. Usually, it's pretty thin at first but gets stronger and darker towards the end of puberty - is this about the weiner again?
You get erections sometimes because you're nervous or excited or maybe you see Donny Wilson in short shorts (which were in style at the time). This can be a bit embarrassing at first but people don't usually notice (if it's small like you know who's) as much as you do and if you don't think about the erection or you concentrate on something really boring (like when Brad talks about playing football) things will settle down again.
You may have 'nocturnal emissions' or wet dreams while you are sleeping. No, you haven't wet the bed (or maybe you did, right Brad?). And that is 1000 words on the
Bradley Evan Witt, Esq. the 3rd. (OK that last part is bullshit).
To fill in the backstory for anyone who isn't caught up, Brad has (to say the least) had more than his fair share of health issues over the past several years. Early in 2020, a tumor was found to be freeloading in his kidney (in the old, no longer functional, one). It looked to be completely encapsulated in the old kidney and an operation was scheduled to take the whole thing out. Minimal risk (as minimal as major surgery's risk can be) and a maximum chance at full and complete recovery. A shitty turn of events but a high probability of a successful resolution.
But then, DUN DUN DUN, along comes COVID. And COVID doing what COVID does, the operation had to be postponed because of new hospital guidelines. Fast forward several months and Brad finally gets the surgery to remove the kidney and the completely encapsulated tumor, only by now, the tumor has decided to stretch its fucking legs and look around for larger digs.
Not what anyone was hoping for.
The operation otherwise went smoothly and all of the cancer was removed. There was a possibility the cancer (as this particular cancer is known to do) could return at some point but things were looking up when a few months later all of his scans were clear of cancer and Brad was feeling well.
Sadly, homeostasis (I was told to use big words so Brad wouldn’t know we were talking about him) would not win the day. In late December Brad, after being in pain for some time, found out that the cancer had returned much sooner than anticipated.
This time in 2 locations: Right where the old kidney was and in another, private location, he doesn’t want to talk about (it rhymes with mutsack).
Now Brad is waiting for another operation to be scheduled to have these tumors removed. The operation will not be as simple as the previous one and will require a substantial rehab time of at least 12 weeks.
There are well-respected Cancer specialists in Vancouver (https://www.ctoam.com/ ) that can sequence the cancer along with Brad’s DNA and provide him with the best imaging and prescribe for him the best therapy, drugs, doctors, and recovery protocol for him to fight this thing. But their expertise doesn't come cheap.
You all know Brad and know that he isn’t a complainer or a whiner and is not going to lay down and let this beat him. He is a fighter and we all know he will beat this. But right now he needs our help. He will have medical bills up the ying-yang combined with not being able to work for at least 3 months. And who knows what other unforeseen costs will appear.
Brad was against us setting this GoFundMe up because he didn’t feel comfortable asking for help from his friends.
We say fuck him and what he wants!
Won’t you join us is PISSING BRAD OFF and donating some money - every little bit will help - towards our goal? PLEASE only give if you can afford to. We know these are tougher than normal times financially for a lot of people. If you can’t afford anything right now, be a pal and write something distasteful about Brad in the comments - references to the circumference of his head or the inadequacy of his weiner are always appreciated.
Thanks – and watch for updates.
You don’t need to read any further as the rest of this will be gibberish at best – or maybe a record review. We’re not sure yet but research is telling us that these types of campaigns do better if they are right around 1000 words.
Go ahead and do a word count. This will be 1000 words on the nose!
Boys, as you are getting older you (although Brad Witt didn't until very late) may notice that you are getting an 'Adam's apple'. This is your larynx or voice box getting larger and sticking out at the front of your throat. Your voice may seem to be all over the place, squeaky then deep or even sound like it is cracking. Don't worry - when your larynx has finished growing your voice will sound 'normal' again and probably a bit deeper than before.
Penis gets longer and wider - Brad would be able to argue against this being the case.
Your testicles get larger - actually, funny story for another time but Brad would not argue with this - perhaps with the timing though...
Breasts look like they're developing a bit! (Don't worry this is quite normal and usually goes away by the end of puberty. See our topic Boys' breasts for more information.) Just don't stay home from school to play with them as Brad did. He almost failed grade 12 he missed so many days.
Apart from hair starting to grow on your body, it also grows on your face, or on your bum as Brad's did. Usually, it's pretty thin at first but gets stronger and darker towards the end of puberty - is this about the weiner again?
You get erections sometimes because you're nervous or excited or maybe you see Donny Wilson in short shorts (which were in style at the time). This can be a bit embarrassing at first but people don't usually notice (if it's small like you know who's) as much as you do and if you don't think about the erection or you concentrate on something really boring (like when Brad talks about playing football) things will settle down again.
You may have 'nocturnal emissions' or wet dreams while you are sleeping. No, you haven't wet the bed (or maybe you did, right Brad?). And that is 1000 words on the
Organizer and beneficiary
Some Friends
Organizer
Vancouver, BC
Bradley Witt
Beneficiary