Help Ray Ray & Brian Recover From Tragedy

Family, Friends & Community,

It is with great sadness and desperation that I have created this GoFundMe to help my brother Ray and myself. It has been a difficult and painful journey that we have been on suffering already for a year. I do not know the definition of quit so I thought that I could take on this impossible task but it has just become extremely overwhelming now. My brother Ray is a fighter too and I'm proud of him with the progress he has made!!! Please allow me to have some of your time and I will explain our story to you. Thank you very very much for your concern and support!!! We need all the help we can get!!!

I arrived home after working a 12 hour shift around 5:00am on Sunday morning, Nov 20, 2022. I had just been thinking during work that I was looking forward to spending time with my brother for Thanksgiving and having a good meal together. However, this is when not only would those plans not be possible, but our lives would change forever!!! While getting the mail, I saw an ambulance arrive at the gate. I said to myself Oh no, I hope everything will be fine for whomever they are coming for.

Instead of making them work on a code for the gate and lose precious time, I ended up using my remote to let them in. I waved to them wondering if all would be okay. I was very tired so I arrived home and went to sleep. Little did I know, they were actually there for my brother Ray.

When I woke up 6 hours later, I saw there was a missed call from Banner Baywood Hospital. My heart sank as I then realized they must have been coming for my brother! What happened!?! It turned out that my brother had a severe asthma attack and could not breathe!!!

Poor guy, he has lived a difficult life with asthma affecting him and his quality of life. There was a time in the past where he was trying to get home from the train station and fell to the ground having difficulties breathing. I am thankful for whomever the kind soul was that saw what took place and called 911 to get him help that day! He made it past that.

A few years ago, he had another incident this time at home. Thankfully, I was present and able to call 911 immediately. It was the first time that I witnessed him not being able to breathe and needing immediate help. That was scary!!

He was placed on a ventilator for the first time. We did not know if he would actually come off of the ventilator. How does this work?? I was there by his side for support and thankfully, after a few days he did come off the ventilator!! He was able to make a recovery but still with his condition present of course.

I imagine that this time, as he tried to talk to the doctor and nurses, he probably thought he was going to come out of this as well. They would help him and figure things out and all would be fine. He would be home in a few days. But, this time was different. There would be no going home in a few days. There would be no going home in a few weeks. There would be no going home in a few months. Our lives as we knew them were over!!! Everything would be different!!!

You see, apparently my brother's body was fighting the treatments. They were having difficulty getting him help. The decision was made to put him on a ventilator. From what I understand, since his body was fighting the help, the decision was made to paralyze his body!? I guess they can do that so that you are not fighting the help and the machine is able to breathe for you.

Well, unfortunately due to the negligence of Banner Baywood Hospital, that would not be the only trouble and fight that my brother Ray would have! While in the hospital, a place he was at for help, he suffered a massive stroke!!! When I first heard the news, I could not believe it and broke down crying!!! It was on the left side of his brain, which affects the right side of your body. He is right handed. What is he going to do!? We did not have prior issues of this in our family so this came as a huge shock and we didn't know what would happen!

I started beating myself up mentally. Saying what if I realized that the ambulance was coming for Ray? I could have talked to the first responders and could have gone to the hospital with him! I could have explained his condition and what happened to him in the past! Would any of that have made a difference?!

I can't even imagine what it is like to wake up and you are in a hospital bed unable to move your right arm that you have used your whole life for mostly everything! You cannot move your right leg! Wait?! What is this!? I cannot speak!!! That's right...not only had my brother Ray lost the use of his arm and leg, but he also could not speak now. He could not tell us how he was feeling. He could not tell us what happened. Truly sad and heartbreaking!!!

The doctors told us that he would never be the same again!!! That he would never be the same Ray that we knew before!!! He would watch tv but that he would not understand what was going on!? He wouldn't understand what the announcers were talking about for example if there was a baseball game on?! No no nooo this was devastating news this can't be possible!!! He didn't deserve this!!! What did my brother do to deserve this to happen to him!?!? There were many tears shed!!!

Ray Ray (as we affectionately call him) has been fighting ever since! He has been trying his best to recover! He was at Banner Baywood Hospital for a month. Thankfully, he was able to avoid having a feeding tube put into his body! They were pushing to get that done before he would leave and go to a rehab facility.

The day he was supposed to have the surgery, his vitals changed and he had to go back to the ICU. Oh no! Was he okay? That was our sign though that it was not meant to be as we later found out that a nurse tried to feed him ice chips and he had them! Wait what!? Yes that's right he was able to do that and then they tried to feed him some food and he was able to eat the food!?! Woww that was so awesome to hear and gave us hope that maybe he would not be as the doctors had described to us!!!

Ray Ray was able to feed himself from that point forward which was so so great!!! I'm very thankful he did not have to go through needing to put a feeding tube into his body! I had been there as often as I could to support and encourage him during this difficult month.

I am thankful to one of our brothers as well who was able to come out here a couple of times to help support and make these difficult conversations and choices easier! Thanks to his continued communication all year with doctors and the insurance companies as I was not able to handle all of that on my own. I would have been homeless months ago if that was the case!!! Thank you also to Ray Ray's friend who was able to come out for a few days on a couple of occasions and offer her encouragement and well wishes! More recently our other brother came along with his daughter which was very nice! It was great to see them, I know Ray Ray was happy and we had a fun time! Thanks for that guys!

Slowly, during his stretch in the hospital it seemed like he was starting to be able to show some emotions. It seemed like he could tell the difference between me and our brother who visited. He was able to show some signs of being happy to see us. That meant the world to us because it gave us hope and we were thinking maybe he could turn this around and beat the odds! Shock everyone!! That would be a true miracle!!!

My brother transitioned to a rehab facility that was much further from us. We did our research and it seemed like they would be a great option. That is where he began his grueling journey of trying to work on getting back to his normal self as much as he could!!!

Of course, as insurance would go, his time there was limited. He was only able to have a few weeks there. I would visit as much as I could among the course of working so many hours and trying to take care of my son. Taking him to school, picking him up. Taking him to volleyball practice. All of these necessities were in different cities. Our apartment. My son's school. My brother's rehab. My son's practice facility. I was literally driving all over for these responsibilities and for work every day racking up sooo many miles on my car!! I put 50,000 miles on my car in one year!?!? That puts me around 163,000 now!?! Wow not good!!!

After his time at the rehab center, my brother was able to transfer into another location. This was more of a rehab hospital. It was located in the same city so still much further from home. Between this location and the last, I would take care of things for my brother just trying to do the best I could to make his day. To help make things more comfortable for him.

For example, I would wash his clothes at my apartment and then drive to bring those to him. I would also make some meals for him and surprise him with a nice dinner from our Mom & Dad's recipes such as beef stew that I brought him for Christmas along with some chocolate chip cookies that I baked!!! Or other times I would pick something up and bring it for us to have lunch or dinner together!!!

Thankfully, unlike what the doctors told us previously, Ray Ray made some really good strides! It turned out little by little he was able to watch something on tv and understand what was happening!! Thank You Thank You Thank You to God for that!!! That was huge, wow I was so happy to see that he could realize something was funny and would laugh and point at the tv to me as I laughed along with him such as watching The Office!

He was able to watch Super Bowl LVII and knew who the Philadelphia Eagles were and who the Kansas City Chiefs (his team) were!! Yayy so awesome!!! That game was actually played here in our state and how amazing that would have been to go!!! But instead, we were dealing with these life changing circumstances. At least we got to enjoy the game together in his rehab hospital. We had a great meal from our favorite restaurant here, "Vito's"!!! Thank you all for the awesome pizza and pasta you're the best!

I am happy this rehab location was very kind to my brother and was doing their best to try and help him with speech therapy and physical therapy!! Seeing him hold a cane and trying to walk around was sooo incredible and again gave us hope that maybe things could work out!!! Sadly of course, his time there was limited as well with insurance. He was able to get therapy multiple times a day which was so good but he was only able to be there a few weeks instead of months!

Ray Ray was a fighter! He wanted to get better but his stroke was definitely making things difficult and forcing us into some tough choices. We had to make the decision that his apartment would have to be let go. He lived on the second floor and sadly, there was no way he was going to be able to walk up and down those stairs.

That period of time was so hard on me because I was the only one around now to assist with this. My son very sadly and unfortunately, was empowered and encouraged by his mother to remove himself from this situation and go and just live with her only. Everything I had taught him about care and love, about support and encouragement was just erased!? You don't leave your family in their most challenging and difficult times!

You should support each other and love one another!!! You are not always going to see eye to eye and get along. That is how it goes with family and siblings. But, when things are like this you need to be there!!! You don't just abandon your family and pretend it is not happening!!! Truly heartbreaking for me and cannot believe that his mother encouraged the opposite and to just think of yourself in times of need with your family!?!?

I miss him every day and here it is all these months later and it is still the same situation, really sad!!! When that happened, I knew it was going to be a long road for both my brother and I now with our mental, emotional and physical state!!!

As I mentioned earlier, I don't know the definition of quit so I just had to persevere and carry on. Ray Ray's apartment was going to need to be cleared out. In order to try and help save on costs to him, I went there 2 days prior to movers coming so I could try and do as much as I could. I worked on all of his personal belongings and as much of his bedroom as I could tackle. I moved those items to my apartment to have them out of the way and less for the movers to grab.

Despite my efforts, and despite having a few movers for a day, there was just too much to do. Having to gather everything plus wrap it up, plus box it up and go back and forth to the storage, they were not able to finish. It cost us a couple of thousand dollars and there was still quite a bit left and that was now going to be put on my shoulders!

My brother's apartment had to be cleaned out and there were only so much time left. I still had to work. After work, I went to his apartment and began working on things. It was sooo difficult because I only had a car to put things in not a moving truck. I had to go up and down those stairs multiple times carrying items and boxes. I had to load the car up - drive and go unload the car. Come back and load it back up again. Repeat, repeat. I was sooo completely exhausted!!! I had never been that way when moving before. I literally felt like I was going to pass out so I had to take a while to lie down on the floor and relax before the final few boxes. That was such a close call of going to the hospital!!!

Ray Ray moved into a group home after the rehab facilities. The group home was not covered by insurance and cost thousands of dollars a month!?! He was there for 5 months! I am thankful to the wonderful caregivers who were there to help feed him and take care of him!!! They were really nice and caring and understanding thank you!!!

A really sweet moment there was when our niece and her fiance came to visit on their way home. They came with Ray Ray's dog, our family dog Bailey!!! My brother had not seen him in 5 months! Bailey was soo happy to see him and gave him kisses!! It was a nice moment seeing him try to get on the bed and see if he could step over into the wheelchair to be next to Ray Ray! Thank you guys so much for visting and thank you for taking Bailey in and taking care of him!!!

I would go and visit him and spend time with him as much as I could. It was becoming difficult though because I lost a lot of time with work beforehand with all of my assistance that I was giving my brother. Now it was becoming more and more challenging to make up for that lost time and money. I found myself working sooo many hours a week!!!

I tried my best though to make his day and was able to get him out of the group home a few times to try and have a little bit of normalcy. That was the nice thing about the group home, was being able to actually check him out of the home and go do something!!!

That was great to have that time together again finally!!! I took him to some of the places he likes to eat like In N Out and Village Inn! We were actually able to go to the movies as well yayy! We love to go see movies so it was really fun to go a couple of times!! Those were the only times though sadly all year because of all these troubles!

The last great moment we shared before he moved out of the group home was going to an Arizona Diamondbacks game!!! He had noticed on the tv that they were going to have a Batman day and we are big fans of Batman! Sure enough, I looked it up and there it was - June 2, 2023 vs the Atlanta Braves. That would be a good matchup!

We went and we had a blast as it was our first game together in many years! It was a good game, we received these awesome Batman shirts that we get compliments on and the Diamondbacks got the win which was perfect!! We also took a really cool picture which I will share with you! Thank you to everyone who was involved in that picture! We appreciated your time and it made our day!!!

I wish we could have gone to more games that would have been great!! As some of you may know, it ended up being even cooler because the Arizona Diamondbacks ended up going on an awesome path shocking everyone making their way to the World Series vs the Texas Rangers!!! So it was really sweet to be a part of the journey!!! We are proud of the team way to go!!! You will be World Series Champions next time!!!

Since the group home was costing so much money, in an effort to help my brother while we figured out his next apartment, I decided to have him move in with me for a couple of months! It was fun, when I would be done with work, we would watch our favorite tv shows and movies. I would cook meals or we would pick something up. I would communicate with him and check in on him with devices that I have so those came in handy to make sure he was okay!

It turned out that we were able to get him an apartment again in the same community so that was really cool. Sadly though, with inflation and with needing a 2 bedroom now, he would be paying more for rent. It is nice for him to have some more room though and he can use his wheelchair as needed to get around!

We have had different appointments to go to with doctors or to set up therapy. It has not been the easiest as my car is a hybrid so there is no trunk space. I have to collapse his wheelchair every time and remove pieces for it to fit in the back seat. And it's not the best positioning how I have to lean over and reach in to take it out or place it in the car multiple times for everywhere we go as my car sits lower to the ground. He has had to use his wheelchair to get around for the times I'm not available so some pieces on his wheelchair have started to break. Also, his shoe has worn down trying to kick himself around so that is not good!

Unfortunately, I have not been able to help him as much as I would have liked these past couple of months. Due to all the time lost during the course of the year with watching Bailey for a couple of weeks, the hospital visits, talking to doctors & nurses. Bringing him clothes and cooked meals. Taking him out of the group home as well as picking up his medicines.

It was all lost time and I am an independent contractor. If I am not working, I am not making money. So sadly, all of this lost time has now proven to be impossible to recover!!! I have really tried my best, working all the time!!! I hardly had any days off for the whole year!!! With this inflation being sooo horrible and drastic changes with my job, my hours have become an extreme amount!!!

My 10 hour days have turned into 12-13hrs! My 12hr days are now 15hrs!! My 15-16hr shifts have become 18+ hours!!! I have literally worked multilple 24 hour days this past year!!!!! No human being on this planet should ever have to work 24 hours for their job no matter what their profession is!!! And I am talking about 24 working hours so with taking necessary breaks, my day was actually 27-30 hours awake and that is not good at all!!! I am worried about my own health now. I don't need anything to happen to me as well!!!

Ray Ray and I have held multiple jobs where we have helped others around the country. We get that from our mother who was truly a great woman always very kind and caring towards others!!! I have delivered food to thousands of customers with your meal hot and on time. You were given amazing customer service and I communicated with you. I worked all hours of the day and night in the heat, rain and the cold. You were able to have a good meal and enjoy your night or weekend with friends and family!

Maybe you were one of the many people my brother worked for with your account at the bank. He made sure your paperwork and money was correct. If there were payouts coming to you, beneficiary checks, etc., you received them at the correct address and promptly with no worries!!

It's possible you were one of the thousands of riders I have taken to their destination safely and comfortably. You & your friends or family were going out to have a good time. Or it could be that your car was broken down and you needed a ride to work. Maybe I was taking you to the airport and got you there safely and on time so you could travel to go see your family for the holidays!!

It could be that you were one of the thousands of people Ray Ray helped to get a job! He assisted you through the process and prepared you for the interview. He made sure you were paid correctly and everything ran smoothly!!

You definitely could be one of the many hundreds of thousands of customers, if not 1 million customers that I worked so extremely hard for in the warehouse. I scanned and loaded your packages in the toughest trailers. I handled them properly and didn't damage them. I actually worked as a training supervisor and dock supervisor as well to ensure others took great care of you. The trucks made it out correctly so that you would receive your package(s) on time all year long and especially for the holidays!!!

I have helped complete strangers who were stranded with their vehicles using jumper cables or a booster to jump start their cars and get them on their way again safely. I have helped people push their cars off the road in numerous circumstances!!! That is who I am and who my brother is. We care and we show love and empathy!!!

What I am trying to say is that on our journeys through multiple states, we have always been there for others and the community!!! I am truly hoping and praying the community, the great people of this country can return the favor and come through for us!!!

I am doing everything I can to try and turn things around. I'm currently in the process of trying to search out other work and prepare for interviews! But, that takes time and energy that I have had to take away from work to get prepared, which set me even further back. It is going to take some time!

As I am writing this to you, my gas bill and electric bill are past due!! My health insurance has not been paid!! My car insurance would not help me despite not having any accidents, no tickets, paying on time for years. That has now been canceled so I literally cannot even drive now and cannot work!!! It is so very sad, it really is!!! I am about to miss my 1st car payment ever and my lease expires in a handful of days so I am at a horrible crossroads right now!!! I never thought I would be in this situation it is sooo difficult!!!

I don't know if any of you have ever felt that you are literally just one injury or accident away from your life being over but that is exactly what has happened to my brother and I here recently and it is a horrible feeling! To think one day you are doing well, everything is great and then just like that such a drastic change and what seems like no recovery possible!!!

There was no Christmas last month for us. No shopping or gift wrapping. No decorations. No friends or family. No presents given or received. That was the first time in our lives that has ever happened and it was such a horrible feeling!! We love Christmas and it was sad and embarrassing, I don't ever want us to feel that again!!!

Just a couple of days before Christmas, my brother Ray Ray was told that he no longer has a job at Northern Trust Bank!!!??? They strung us along for the whole year! They initially told us don't worry about anything your job is safe here, worry about taking care of yourself. Then time went on and they wanted paperwork. Then they wanted a meeting on the phone. After that, more paperwork. Then a video meeting. More paperwork needing to go see the doctor again.

And after no contact for a bit, they dropped that horrible information on my poor brother right before Christmas!?! They should be ashamed of themselves that is sooo awful!!! He gave a decade of his life to that company and because of something that was out of his control with the stroke happening, that is how you treat him?! I am very afraid now that my brother will never be able to work again!!!

That is why I now have no other choice but to ask you all for help! Our lives have been changed drastically and we truly need your help and your support!!! We cannot do this without you and will end up being homeless without any big changes!!!

Speaking of help and a home. The funds will be used for food and clothing, for the hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills Ray Ray has, for rehabilitation as the insurance only wants to cover a portion of his rehab visits. It will also be used for equipment such as getting him a new wheelchair or fixing the broken pieces.

There is a device that we would like to get which can help him communicate so much better as he still cannot talk besides a few words!!! But that alone is thousands of dollars so we are at a loss. We tried it out and I think it would really benefit my brother! It would be easier for him instead of writing on his board or typing on his tablet!!!

The funds will help for debt incurred because of all of this and lost wages. I don't know if it is possible, but it has always been a lifelong dream to have a home! I talked with my brother about this a few years ago and then all of a sudden, Covid hit and now the biggest inflation of our lifetimes!? Horrible timing! Watching our dreams crumble because of this inflation and now all of this unexpected debt that was out of our control, is a really bad feeling!!! Without help, we would never be able to even dream of getting a home, let alone a car or anything going forward because we would not be able to afford it especially with just barely trying to even survive at this point!!!

But if there was any way to help assist with getting a home, I think that would be crucial for my brother. He could have more space to move around. We could live together to cut down on separate costs. Therapists/nurses could come to the home to help assist him with physical and speech therapy!!! I am looking to work remotely so that would be great because I could work from home and keep an eye on him!!! We could have a nice kitchen and cook meals!!! Cook some of Mom & Dad's recipes that take hours and hours to make! Yumm that would be amazing!!!

Speaking of Mom & Dad, in the past 5 years here, we have lost our Mom & Dad. We lost a couple of our Aunts, a couple of our Cousins. Ray Ray no longer has his dog Bailey who is being taken care of by relatives. I no longer have my son around. We have gone through Covid, going through this inflation. It has been one thing after another, after another. And now this latest setback which has completely altered our lives!?!?

I know this was long and I am truly truly appreciative of your time and your support for Ray Ray and I!!!!!!! More than you could ever know!!!!!!! It was difficult because we have lived this and been suffering for this past year. It was not something that just occurred so there was a lot to mention. Reading this as I typed it, I still cannot believe everything we have had to deal with wow very tragic and difficult!! Thank you again for your time!!!

Please help us recover and get on a path to a new life so we can know what it is to be happy again!!! To be excited and enjoying ourselves!!! To be living and not surviving!!!

We do not have any social media accounts so please help us spread our story!!! Share this with your co-workers and acquaintances! Your friends and family!! Anything you can do to help us, even if a small amount, I promise will truly make a Huge difference in our lives!!! If you cannot assist at this time, we would be thankful for your prayers and well wishes as we need the positive vibes and energy!!! Your friend or relative might be in a better position to help so please still share anyway!!! You can do that for us in any way possible whether that is e-mail, text messaging, Tik Tok, X/Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc., You will see there is a share button on this page and that will open up different options for you to share it properly!

Thank You Everyone And God Bless You All!!!!!!!

Sincerely,

Brian & Ray Ray