Help River Afford Gender Affirming Surgery

Hi everyone, my name is River and my pronouns are they/he. I am 36 years old and live in Colorado. I have a partner who I have been with since 2017 and I am the proud "dada" of a 2 year old. I am a mental health therapist who works primarily with queer and trans folks as we navigate a world that fails to see our joy and works very hard to disappear us.

I did not come out as trans until 2017 (I was 30). I did not grow up with access to a language to describe or the freedom to explore identity, much less any visual representation to relate to. I am the oldest of two and my parents are very conservative Evangelicals-my dad is a southern baptist minister to this day. As you might imagine, queerness and transness don't mesh well with this worldview.

After surviving two stints of conversion therapy, I walked away from my faith community in 2012 and ended my relationship with my biological family in 2015. I have had access to top surgery and HRT now for several years but due to the circumstances and environment of my upbringing, I was late to living my life in authenticity and did not have access to puberty blockers or hormones as early as I would have liked.

The Ask

I still have more to achieve in my medical transition to feel that I am embodying my true self and even though I am approaching 40, I have to believe that I am worthy of a life in which I feel congruent with my body and my soul.

I am working to raise money for a procedure known as Body Contouring Masculinization. This is a procedure in which my torso, back, hips, and thighs are reshaped through liposuction and fat redistribution in order to achieve a more masculine shape. I call this shape, "The Dorito Chip of Sexiness". Basically, an inverted triangle.

I have found the surgeon that I want to work with. He is located in San Francisco at the Gender Confirmation Center. This is a place that works primarily with trans folks. My previous experience with top surgery was with a surgeon here in Colorado and while he had performed many top surgeries, he was not very affirming of my trans body. He made comments about how my body was too big for the surgery to "look good". For someone who is seeking out affirming surgery regarding their body feeling "not quite right", this was not reassuring feedback to be having with my surgeon pre and post op. I want to make sure that the surgeon who is performing surgery, values trans folks and prioritizes our humanity.

Due to the nature of this surgery and the very few surgeons who focus on trans folks, insurance will not cover the cost. I have been fundraising by selling hoodies and sweatshirts and have also been saving and will continue to do so.

Even so, I need help. After my consultation, I received the estimate and am needing an additional $15,000. I know this is a huge amount. I am holding the tension of asking for what I need while battling my historical narrative that I do not deserve kindness or care.

Each time I have prioritized myself and have had access to medical transition, I have experienced joy and meaning in ways I never knew possible. Please help me close the gap between the money I have saved and raised so far, and what I still need, in order to live out life in a more authentic and congruent way.

With Hope and Gratitude,

River