Help Roxie Transition

Hello, my name is Roxie. I assume you found this via someone close to me who cares for me, as I don't have some big social media following where I can have this reach an audience.

I am a trans woman struggling with dysphoria and being unpassing. I've tried self-love and acceptance, and am currently seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist. I have been on female hormones for over three years. Clothes and makeup and effort and a can-do attitude have all helped me.

None of it has been enough.

I sadly was not born lucky enough to be comfortable in a body that I can call my own, and this spectre of unease in my own skin has haunted me since before I could put a name to it. It has caused me to have an incredibly avoidant, fragile, depressive personality, and sucks every small joy out of life. I have panic attacks in clothing stores and have to avoid mirrors lest my gaze stays overlong. Self-disgust and dysphoria towards my own body is ruining my life, and I think it's time I acknowledge I need more serious help and confront the problem head-on.

Step one has been arranging for surgeries in the near future. Step two is asking for financial help, as these surgeries are expensive. Despite how crippling my dysphoria is to the point of shutting me down from speaking or even moving at times, many transsexual surgeries are not covered by insurance, and are seen as "cosmetic" rather than medical necessity.

If you could spare a little money, that would be a huge relief in covering the surgery costs and all the other costs that pile up, such as recovery, hospital stays, travel there and back, etc.

Dysphoria is a very real mental illness that I struggle with, and I'm currently reaching out for the only lifeline I can see in this very dark time in my life, a life I feel like I am losing by not truly being myself every second of the day. Not only that, but I am objectively large and masculine looking, despite any feminine coat of paint, and it makes me have to be half-closeted still in the rather conservative state I live in. This isn't merely a matter of my personal mental unhealth, but also a matter of safety, to help me blend in better in potentially transphobic spaces without having to hide who I am and wear a baggy black hoodie. Any help you give could quite literally save my life, on top of helping me feel like I can actually start living.

Trans liberation now.

Be kind to one another.

Thank you for reading my story.