Help secure a safe and stable home for my family.
I am a proud yet increasingly less able workaholic. I live within my means, we have one vehicle, one TV, my phone and my wife's phone are our computers. Weekends are our vacation days where we roast beef hot dogs over a small fire weather etc permitting. Like many, we live week to week, or that's to say paycheck to paycheck, hoping we don't fall too far behind on our bills. When I'm able to work I work in the Bay Area (SF), which is a 2.5hr commute one way with no traffic, so that we can afford a place my wife and son can call home. Colleagues have asked why I live so far away; honestly it's what we could afford and it provides my wife and son a sense of safety and stability I never had in my younger years.
I make a conscious effort to not replicate behaviour I don't approve of. Though I am usually happy to help, I've never been big on asking others for help. As a child abuse survivor it's never been easy to trust others. As a teenager and young adult I worked hard to provide a future for myself; I participated in Youth Employment Program & Reginald Occupation Program, while in high school. After graduating high school (Aragon c/o 97) and leaving my last group home, I worked in San Mateo at a Print's Plus in the afternoon and evenings, Noah's Bagels pre-dawn until before noon and 24hr Fitness from evening to dawn (a room with a view, complimentary meals, and somewhere to try and stay fit), until I was told by a friend (Jason Bozzini) to take a vacation all that work would kill me before I reached 25. So I lived with my friends Jason Bozzini and Chris Erington for a year no work no bills and no income. Because of 9/11 I joined the US ARMY (11c1p). Later I completed vocational training in Cisco Systems Networking at Treasure Island Job Corps, afterwards I found a job as a cable technician, which afforded me a stable enough living situation that allowed me to get married. I pursued and obtained an A.S. in Network Systems Administration. I now work in construction because it pays more.
The lingering effects of the child abuse I'd endured began to affect me around 2011, in 2012I was diagnosed with a neurological disorder cyclic vomiting syndrome (C.V.S.) and as well as IBS, I never told my physicians about my childhood. These medical issues prevent me from being able to attend work on a regular basis. I don't want to be a burden on my wife and child or anyone else for that matter. I've worked hard since I was able to, so that one day I could live not just survive. Now that I've made it this far it's my medical issues, caused by the abuse I suffered as a child, that has made it difficult for me to feel worthy of the title husband and father; I love my wife and child, and I want to protect them and provide for them, however I feel like I am failing them because it's hard to provide when I'm to sick to work and don't have the means. If my medical condition wasn't so debilitating I would not be here asking for help.
I like many parents, true parents, want my child to have a better life than what I went through. To keep my wife and son provided for I ask for 400k, just enough to keep our home and pay off our vehicle and some potential unexpected expected expenses (medical, repairs, etc.) . I still intend on working when able anyone that knows me knows I'm a workaholic, but at least if I can raise the money I'm requesting I won't have to worry about my 4y/o and my wife becoming homeless because of my condition.
If you know me, then you know that if it was just me I would never ask for help this way or such magnitude. I love my wife and son; I've literally fought, struggled, and suffered to get to where I am, and if loosing it all only affected me I would endure that too, but failing them is something I can't just accept.
Due to the physical, emotional, and psychological abuse I suffered through it's always been difficult for me to get restful sleep, the nightmares are intense to this day. I wake up between 12 & 1 am which stems from my childhood, where at times I was woken from sleep by abuse. Upon waking up I have the urge to deficate or vomit; whether or not I have a successful bowel movement I must immediately take a hot bath to get some relief from the abdominal cramping and nausea. If I'm lucky enough I only have to be in the tub for about an hour, however if it's bad then I could be in the tub for days before I am able to feel well enough to try to lay back in bed, these episodes have also caused me to miss special occasions. To get relief the bath must be as hot as I can tolerate; the baths are so hot my back side is now darker than my front. End of July start of August 2021 I had blood in my stool and no longer have medical coverage because I can't work enough hours due to my frequent, painful, episodes.
Typically I'm a very private person, so social media and such has never been an interest nor has being open about any of my struggles especially regarding my childhood but in hopes of protecting what I love I will share documents that validate some, not all of the abuses of my childhood, as well as medical records and related research into my condition.
I really rather not have to had created this request, I'd rather be healthy and working, being a proud positive productive person not having to bare my scars. Since being initially evaluated and diagnosed I've tried various medications, changed my diet multiple times, I've also implemented various fitness/wellness/relaxation practices, all with no improvements to my health condition.
If you can help fund us via donations and/ or informing those who can, thank you more than words can express; if you can't, then thank you for your time and consideration, and please love and protect children from abuse.
IBS article:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4479362/
C.V.S. article:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5560005/
Link to info about some of my childhood:
https://books.google.com/books?id=j99m08h4qhsC&pg=PT4&lpg=PT4&dq=aristela+wise+vs+charles+stringer&source
Special thanks to all my friends that helped me survive adolescence, most of which never knew what I'd survived before meeting them and won't know unless they've read the above.