Help Sian Recover and Bring back her Smile

This is the Sian we used to have, even without a silly filter the joy and passion she had for life and seeing others happy was so strong she would literally light up a room. 

But she was hiding a dark secret, she had an eating disorder, the excuses became more extreme, as did she. To the point she didn’t use excuses, she just didn’t come to the table anymore. We took her to The family Dr. Other doctors/specialists where she would say nothing or she was fine. She wasn’t her blood pressure dropped dangerously low, her blood tests were coming back more and more concerning every time her weight was dropping rapidly each time. Her mood blood pressure and bloods all seemed to be going down hill. And she didn’t care, she was losing her sparkle. She stopped seeing her friends, stopped seeing family. Until all she was doing was isolating herself in her room. She lost interest in life altogether, no amount of pleading or begging, even bribing would bring back the old Sian she wasn’t interested in hearing about it the old Sian couldn’t be bought back either, trying her favourite foods offering to let her cook what she wanted, because she loved cooking for people, didn’t even get a reaction. It was like talking to a persons shell, but she wasn’t in there. Her health was declining she was in and out of hospital for electrolyte imbalances, cardiac issues and arrhythmias she was getting sick, but getting worse, still. She was admitted into eating disorder clinics over and over and only having access to the public system. We were told they didn’t have the capacity to treat-her anymore.

Sian seemed to get considerably worse after a check up at the dentist. She had a quite bad slip and fall while going to her seat, a spill had gone unnoticed and when she fell she landed hard on her knee and face. Her knee required an urgent surgery and after landing so hard on her face, they found she damaged teeth chipped front teeth broken premolar, broken back molars. Her teeth keep her up in agony and that’s when she became quite sensitive about her mouth, when she spoke to anybody she would cover her mouth, wouldn’t laugh and became even more hesitant to leave the house. What she was eating became even more restricted she was only handling liquids because her teeth would be in agony while chewing, So she was losing more weight and her medical treatment became a bit more extreme it’s scary seeing the treatment she requires going from the ER to lengthy stays in ICU and CCU.

Though it did lead to us learning something about Sian and her Anorexia she always complained of really severe stomach pains, she would be incredibly sick after eating or drinking, but I thought that was due to the eating disorder, I didn’t put the dots together that  her stomach would still be in agony even after she had been sick if she was after that meal/drink and she had never forced it. So we went to the dr again, he examined her stomach and sent her straight to the hospital. There she had X-rays, ultrasounds, then CT scans and an MRI. That’s when the head Gastrointestinal specialist along with a group of other Doctors looking at notes and talking amongst themselves came in and starting saying you’re sick your stomach is very sick, the Gastro specialist examined Sian. Tapping and listening to her stomach feeling it in different places and asking where it hurt. That’s when things made a lot of sense. She had gastritis,but he wasn’t worried about that, he said that’s easy to treat. Then he said, then there are the things that are not so easy to treat, your bowel has perforations, you have a bowel obstruction, malabsorption your stomach is quite out of order, you really need surgery but, in your weakened state you wouldn’t survive the anaesthesia. Tell me though do you feel sick everytime you eat or drink he asked? Sian gingerly nodded, well, because your stomach is so sick right now it doesn’t want anything in it, it’s like an angry dog it doesn’t want to be touched, and everytime you’re sick it’slike the angry dog biting you for teasing it. So you will need surgery but as I said you’re too weak. But I am willing to try a more conservative approach, I need to attach a tube and bag to your stomach to drain the build up and help reduce the chance of bleeding out from a rupture. I’ll start you on 2 very strong antibiotics and a few other medications to relax the whole GI system and we’ll go day by day or hour by hour to see how you respond. Your stomach is still going to be sick until go have surgery but with no treatment, there is no way you’ll survive. 

So after recovering myself from hearing that, I began to talk to Sian not just about her eating disorder but about what the doctor had said, and it was like someone was finally talking her language after not being able to communicate in a foreign land.

She still suffers from anorexia and fears food, but she fears the pain that she was always getting after eating and drinking and would hate not being able to control her stomach throwing back up.

I asked why she had become so isolated and stopped communicating with people. Why did the isolation start, because it’s coming upto to over 3 and a half years she has doing this.

She says she’s an ugly monster that she hates what she’s become, that she’s too scared to open her mouth in front of anyone because of the damage to her teeth, and she has become even more scared of people seeing her.

Because with the liquid diet she is on it’s bad for teeth and the inability to control being sick damages the teeth further. So the condition of her teeth have worsened, and her self esteem is non existent because she said, she knows we don’t have the money for the dental treatment, and no matter how hard she’s tried to save, being on a government payment it’s near impossible to reach the goal she needs of saving to fix her teeth, and that what she fears that will happen is that her teeth will rot out while she tries in vain to save, or she’ll get some treatment on the public system but all they really offer for issues with teeth is an extraction or referral to a private dentist for treatment and that treatment is what is unaffordable in the first place. So she said she feels stuck. And the only option she can think of is to hide away from the world until she’s old enough to pass away in her sleep or dental treatment  becomes something even the poor have access to.

This breaks my heart. Because she doesn’t feel worthy of me even trying this to try and help, her, she doesn’t know What I’ve written I just said I’d share some of her story, and she said I can’t put the full amount of treatment she’s been quoted. Because believes she’s not worth it, and that’s probably why this all happened in the beginning, because she was meant to hide away from a world that doesn’t want her anyway 

I just wish I could help her smile again, help her get well enough for her Gastrointestinal surgery so we can have the old Sian back, the one that lights up the room, because so many of Sian’s friends have reached out to me since she started to isolate herself and they’ve noticed the absence of her light, joy and love in their lives.

Sian is fighting a battle of darkness of her own, and I think she needs to be shown the world doesn’t think she’s a monster, she’s wanted. And people are willing to help.

so if you can help, please, help how you can even by sharing this, get the word out to help Sian smile again.

thank you for your time.

all my love to you at this scary time.