Help Single Mother and her Sons Stay Safe

My daughter Carissa is trying to hire a lawyer to fight against her current husband Joseph (Joey) Rummens, getting contact and visitation with their 2 children, Cameron (7) and Ryker (5).

*HISTORY*

Carissa and Joey started dating when she was 13 and he was 16, they were together for 12 years. The relationship was toxic and abusive and left Carissa with Severe C-PTSD. Carissa finally found her voice and strength and is fighting for her safety and freedom STILL. Safety is the biggest priority for her and her boys, the next being her healing journey and having a life of peace. Something that should be a human right is constantly being taken away from her at the hands of her abuser. The justice system is his new tool of control against Carissa.

Joey is currently incarcerated for crimes of sexual assault against Carissa, as well as a severe history of abuse. Carissa asked for a divorce in June of 2020 and over the next several months still co-parented with Joey on behalf of the children. In January of 2021 Joey took advantage of Carissa trying to coparent and used it as a tool to gain control over her life. An inexcusable act of selfish sin - Joey raped Carissa in her home with the children in the next room, distracted by a movie Joey put on for them. Carissa cried and pleaded for it to stop, saying "no" over 40 times. Carissa contacted the crisis hotline a few days after the assault, and with the help of her advocate, pressed charges.

Over the next 2 years, the legal journey was hard on Carissa as she watched the legal system be there for Joey time and time again. Justice only came because Carissa would not silence her voice and stood strong. Throughout the legal process, she still remained as unbiased as she could to separate "Joey her abuser" and "Joey the boys' father."

While Joey was in jail following the charges, Carissa allowed contact and an ongoing relationship between the children and Joey, VIA 3rd party (his mother Tammy, and a previous girlfriend D.E.) When the relationship between D.E. and Joey ended it wasn't long after that Carissa made the decision to stop contact with Tammy and Joey.

Joey and Tammy refused to respect boundaries and kept making unhealthy choices resulting in the boys being in danger or affecting their mental health in an unfortunate way.

When Joey started making threats against Carissa's well-being and talking about taking their children and fleeing with them to avoid charges, Carissa and her Crisis advocate worked with the crisis center and other resources to protect them. Carissa begged the court to place Joey on an ankle monitor GPS device - which the court denied because of the "negative accusation on his character appearance" it would have. Joey eventually went on the run and the court ordered a nationwide warrant. Carissa pulled the boys from School and Daycare and relocated to a new town unknown to the world to stay in a crisis "safe house" for 5 months. She was there awaiting the trial against Joey, but due to Joey making delays - the trial kept getting prolonged.

While at the safe house, Carissa found a permanent housing situation to relocate her and her 2 sons and start a new chapter. The day she was supposed to move - Joey reached out to her in what Carissa believes was Joey's "breaking day" calling her to say goodbye to their children before taking his life. In an hour-long phone call, Carissa talked Joey "off the ledge." A lot was discussed over the traumatic phone call, but after the phone call, Carissa contacted law enforcement and her crisis advocate - stating that Joey was in contact with her and that Cameron, Ryker, and herself were in danger and they needed immediate help. That night was one of the scariest nights for Carissa and the boys. It ended with Joey (and an accomplice) fleeing from 3 different agencies of law enforcement in the woods for over 8 hours. Even with the assistance of dogs as well as a thermal helicopter Joey (and accomplice) unfortunately were not apprehended.

Carissa had to spend the next several months in MORE fear. She kept Cameron and Ryker away from the public (not even going to work/school/daycare, or out to play or grocery shop,) in fear they would be seen and Joey would come for them. While the boys missed family and friends they kept busy playing arts and crafts and built endless forts with Mom, the boys were happy, and helping Mom through the worst time in her life with their smiles.

Even with the smiles...This time was hard on Carissa, she hardly slept because of nightmares, and when she did it was on the foot of the boy's bed curled up in case she needed to protect them. The fear she lived through for months was 2nd hand torture at the hands of Joey's choices.

(Joey was eventually caught and sentenced in December of 2022 on the Sexual Assault charges that took place in January of 2021. Taking a plea deal for 90 months. Carissa told the courts she wanted to take Joey to trial but they pursued the plea deal regardless.)

Carissa does not want to discuss too much about the recent decision, that has affected her choice to keep the boys away from Joey at this time. She said she is at a healthy place with her healing and this divorce journey is taking her back to a bad place mentally. But she wants to state it was a choice she never wanted to make as she wants her children to have a relationship with their father, it just isn't in their current best interest. "Joey isn't a healthy mind that can help the boys flourish into gentlemen."

*CURRENT*

With the circumstances at hand from Joey's choices, my daughter Carissa and my grandchildren have had to move away from everyone they know, to build a new life and start a chapter that they can safely write themselves!! They are currently under an address confidentiality program called "Safe at Home" It's like a version of witness protection, which means they get to be invisible because the state of Minnesota recognizes that if Joey has the ability to know their whereabouts it could jeopardize their safety.

Carissa and Joey mutually started the divorce process but Joey is fighting for joint physical and legal custody of the boys. As well as bi-weekly in-person visits at the prison, and daily phone/mail contact with the boys. Joey would be able to send direct mail to the boys, Jeopardizing their confidential address.

Joey has a lawyer who is advocating for him and the "endless benefits" this will have for him if his relationship with his children is restored. Joey wants a relationship with his children. As he should, but neither he, nor the courts are concerned about the effects it will have on Carissa and her healing, nor caring about the effects this will have on the children.

If it was about the children Joey would let them be. Knowing a relationship with his children will mentally and emotionally be too traumatic for them right now. Carissa will be the one seeing these negative effects on Cameron and Ryker and have to help them through these changes while Joey just gets to look forward to a phone call and a visit. He won't be able to answer a phone call if they want to call him at 9 p.m. but Carissa and the boys will have to deal with this trauma as a daily part of their life. All because Joey wants to have a relationship with his children. He had that chance already. This is their time now. To heal and attempt to establish a normal life. A life away from the trauma Joey's choices has subjected them to.

Joey wants this for him, to have control back. To have access to Carissa. If these requests are granted, Joey will be able to know the location of Carissa and the boys and through constant and consistent communication with young children he could learn anything from the boys that Carissa doesn't want Joey to know. This is a very unique and vulnerable situation that most divorce cases don't have to work through. Carissa needs a lawyer to advocate this information to the courts. Doing this on her own is extremely traumatic to her healing journey and she just wants someone in the legal system advocating for her and her children.

*WHAT WE ARE ASKING*

Carissa and the boys deserve a peaceful life away from Joey and his family. They deserve to be the ones to decide when THEY are ready for contact. Joey and his Mother are fighting for access to the boys. We ask if you feel compelled and are able, to help lift the burden of financial worry Carissa is going through so she can access a Divorce Lawyer. She has fought so hard the last few years to make a better life for her 2 boys. Carissa just went through a grueling legal journey for the last 2 years against Joey after the assault. He prolonged the legal journey and got away with so much. He's attempting the same thing now. Carissa doesn't need to fight him alone. She's been strong long enough, let's give her a lawyer to help her and her boys have peace. Send her words of encouragement and keep prayers flowing. Anything you feel compelled to donate is more than enough.

Thank you!