Help support Carl and his family

The Cote family has been through a longstanding battle with cancer. Carl, (father of Vivienne and Franco, and husband of Bianca), has been debilitated by the illness since April of 2022. The family has been displaced and repeatedly separated as Carl has been moved around for different treatments and recovery. Carl hasn't been able to work since the onset in April and they've been greatly challenged in making ends meet and taking care of the children.

The health complications stemmed from a previous bout with testicular cancer back in 2011. Through a massive effort including surgery and alternative treatment, Carl was able to rise and overcome the illness. Unfortunately, the cancer was not fully expelled from the body and has metasticized.

It's been a traumatic rollercoaster for Carl and the family, with lots of positive trends continually interrupted by rapid declines; there have been 6 rounds of chemo, surgery, endless testing and alternative efforts (see the full timeline below). It's been a turbulent time of upset, uncertainty and adaptation. The family has found a massive amount of support from Carl's parents, Pauline and Alin,

who have made many trips from Red Deer, AB, to Kamloops, Kelowna, Nelson and Vancouver over the course of the year.

There's been a lot of time of separation, with Bianca and the kids being in the Slocan Valley and Carl being away in hospitals or recovery. The local community has provided some support to the family but it's been really hard on Bianca to take on the extra responsibility. And really hard on the kids to not have their Papa present, or be able to play during their time together.

I had the privilege to spend some time with Carl recently in Kelowna, before the worst of the latest challenges arose. It was shocking to see my soul brother in that state. Carl is an accomplished athlete, having played hockey at a high level and completed several triathlons. He's a strong man, with great intelligence and a beaming heart. I've always admired his ability to connect, beyond any differences, with every person he meets. We've often been told that we look like biological brothers. To see him 65lbs lighter, with no hair, and immobile was devasting.

On that trip with two other brothers, we found many moments of lightness and laughter. There was profound beauty as Carl processed this challenge and shared his vulnerability with us. It was really hard to see him in so much pain and not be able to do anything about it. He remained selfless in his grace, reminding us that health and vibrancy is precious. He's currently in one of his most challenging physical states, with clotting and digestive complications potentially calling for additional surgical intervention.

At the moment we (friends of the family) are reaching out to ask for any support possible. With the financial strain adding more stress to the situation, it becomes an impediment for healing. If at all this story is moving for you and you are able to make a financial contribution to the family, we would all have immense gratitude for the support.

Thank you for your consideration, and blessings of health to you and your loved ones.

Timeline

2011

Testicular Cancer beat into remission

2022

April - had to stop work due to debilitating pain and declining mobility in his left hip area.

Mother’s Day - rushed Carl to his 3rd emergency visit; CT scan confirmed a tumour on his psoas muscle

June - progressive decline, bed ridden, limited to a wheelchair, endless tests scans and blood samples

June 10th - biopsy confirmed that the tumour was a metastasis from the previous testicular cancer

June 20th - Carl began his first round of chemotherapy in Kamloops, 4 in total over 2 months

September - the tumour reduced from approx 14.5cm to approx 8cm and the family returned to settle back in Slocan for rest and recovery.

October - good progress in healing to the point of being able to hike

Beginning of November - pain started to flare up leading to reduced mobility

End of November - opted for major abdominal surgery in Vancouver to remove the remaining mass

- recovery went well and things were looking hopeful

Christmas Day - pain had returned and Carl was bedridden again

- the tumor had grown back and was swollen with fluid

2023

January 5th - Carl was transferred to Kelowna general hospital where they started him on chemotherapy

as an inpatient

January - Discharged and moved into a family friend's place in Kelowna

February - saw improvements in mobility and vitality

End of February - more decline, severe pain

This is when we visited him.

March 6 - another round of inpatient chemotherapy for another six days in the hospital.

- discovered a blood clot in his left leg

- the onset of inflammation and obstruction in bowels that may need surgery

All Donations go toward Carl and his family.

Written by Kyle Dow.