Help the Grayson Family Grow
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It takes a village to raise a child. And sometimes, it takes a village to have a child.
After being part of the village for 15 children through foster care, we've decided to pursue additional means to have a forever child through IVF.
Our journey to have a child began more than a decade ago. We always wanted to be parents so we started trying for a family early on. The years kept coming and they don’t stop coming (said in the tune of Smashmouth), with no luck--no 2 pink lines. After years of hope and (mostly) heartbreak, we got serious and saw a fertility specialist.
Our doctor ran the scope of testing. We were given one and only one option, IVF.
This was our moment of happy and sad all at once; happy to know we have an option but sad to know that it is well beyond our means.
At that point, we chose to take a break from the emotional rollercoaster of trying and hoping and trying and hoping and never getting pregnant. We needed a break from the mental exhaustion of fertility treatment discussions and going over and over our budget trying and hoping and ultimately not having the funds to pursue our only option.
Somewhere on the curvy road of infertility, we found ourselves on an alternate route: becoming foster parents! For the last three years, we have had the opportunity to foster 15 children--varying in ages from 6 months to 17 years old. We have gone through teething and teenage hormones; we’ve potty trained, gave driving lessons and so many things between. We even had 6 children from two families at once--that was 5 kids under the age of 4!
It’s been an incredible lesson in love and patience and knowing how strong we are together. The children in our care have all be lucky enough to reunify with their families, making us happy for them but leaving that hole in our hearts yet to be filled.
With no forever options through fostering, we tried to self-match through foster adoption websites like AdoptUsKids.org. After a ridiculous amount of hours and 70+ inquiries later, we’re still waiting on a match. We still hope to one day have the opportunity to adopt through foster care but ultimately the odds aren't good or timely. We still plan to keep our foster license and continue to say yes to kids in need. We are so devoted to fostering that the Brookings Child Protection Team recognized us for our efforts and it's an honor that we take pride in as we continue to advocate for children and their families in the foster system.
We have looked at every option, every treatment, every alternative and after all these years, we are back to our one option, pursuing IVF. It’s the right fit for us and where we’re at in our lives. Our doctor is confident in the option and because it still is an option, we would be remiss if we didn't try.
For couples like us, THE biggest hurdle is the expense. We have overwhelming amounts of love, time, patience, and devotion---just limited financial ability. Our extra funds for the last 3 years have gone into our foster kids, which we believe is the right thing---they deserve it.
The honest truth is that we have dreaded posting this and avoided sharing this. We have gone back and forth, back and forth, wondering if we have any right to be able to ask this of others. This is just so totally uncomfortable because:
ONE: This is super personal. It’s not in our element to broadcast our heartaches to everyone, especially when it’s SO PERSONAL. It’s just that this struggle has reached the point that we need to help. Which brings us to reason number two for why it’s so hard to post...
TWO: Asking for help is hard. Asking for financial help is next level. It means we have to swallow our pride. It feels selfish – especially now, of all times. People want to help when you have fallen. We all know how bad it hurts to fall. It’s easy to empathize with a physical fall. But we’ve had emotional fall. A financial fall. We have fallen into a deep hole of fertility grief and now we’re asking for help.
IVF is expensive, and we don’t think other couples going through it ask for help enough. Maybe because they don’t feel like it’s okay to ask for help. Maybe because infertility is hard to talk about, and money is even harder. Maybe because of pride and shame. Even though it’s uncomfortable to be vulnerable, it’s important. It’s a gateway to understanding that this struggle affects 1 in 6 couples. It cultivates compassion. It opens hearts and is a precursor to love.
Despite it feeling uncomfortable for us to extend our hands out for help, Jay and I are going to embrace it. We are going to keep doing what we’ve been doing – put our story out there and talk about being the 1 in 6 who struggle with infertility. Show that it’s okay to ask for help. We are going to be vulnerable and voice our needs to you, our community. Meg Cabot once said, “Sometimes in life, you can fall down holes you can’t climb out of by yourself. That’s what friends and family are for – to help. They can’t help, however, unless you let them know you’re down there.”
By choosing to support us, you’re saying, “I see you down in that hole, and I choose to help.” You’re saying yes to a more vulnerable, more compassionate world. You’re saying yes to a world where asking for help is met with warmth and generosity. You’re saying yes to a world where people don’t feel like they have to go at it alone.
Our financial goal in this GoFundMe is high, but we are keeping our hopes and expectations low. This journey has been a rollercoaster.
We understand completely if people don’t have anything to spare. We just have to ask. For our hearts. For our dream. For our forever.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and hear our story. Even if you can’t donate, we just appreciate your love and support.
All funds will go towards the estimated $20,000-$25,000 that IVF will cost.
Note: some people are more comfortable with Venmo. Our Venmo is @KatieMGrayson.
After being part of the village for 15 children through foster care, we've decided to pursue additional means to have a forever child through IVF.
Our journey to have a child began more than a decade ago. We always wanted to be parents so we started trying for a family early on. The years kept coming and they don’t stop coming (said in the tune of Smashmouth), with no luck--no 2 pink lines. After years of hope and (mostly) heartbreak, we got serious and saw a fertility specialist.
Our doctor ran the scope of testing. We were given one and only one option, IVF.
This was our moment of happy and sad all at once; happy to know we have an option but sad to know that it is well beyond our means.
At that point, we chose to take a break from the emotional rollercoaster of trying and hoping and trying and hoping and never getting pregnant. We needed a break from the mental exhaustion of fertility treatment discussions and going over and over our budget trying and hoping and ultimately not having the funds to pursue our only option.
Somewhere on the curvy road of infertility, we found ourselves on an alternate route: becoming foster parents! For the last three years, we have had the opportunity to foster 15 children--varying in ages from 6 months to 17 years old. We have gone through teething and teenage hormones; we’ve potty trained, gave driving lessons and so many things between. We even had 6 children from two families at once--that was 5 kids under the age of 4!
It’s been an incredible lesson in love and patience and knowing how strong we are together. The children in our care have all be lucky enough to reunify with their families, making us happy for them but leaving that hole in our hearts yet to be filled.
With no forever options through fostering, we tried to self-match through foster adoption websites like AdoptUsKids.org. After a ridiculous amount of hours and 70+ inquiries later, we’re still waiting on a match. We still hope to one day have the opportunity to adopt through foster care but ultimately the odds aren't good or timely. We still plan to keep our foster license and continue to say yes to kids in need. We are so devoted to fostering that the Brookings Child Protection Team recognized us for our efforts and it's an honor that we take pride in as we continue to advocate for children and their families in the foster system.
We have looked at every option, every treatment, every alternative and after all these years, we are back to our one option, pursuing IVF. It’s the right fit for us and where we’re at in our lives. Our doctor is confident in the option and because it still is an option, we would be remiss if we didn't try.
For couples like us, THE biggest hurdle is the expense. We have overwhelming amounts of love, time, patience, and devotion---just limited financial ability. Our extra funds for the last 3 years have gone into our foster kids, which we believe is the right thing---they deserve it.
The honest truth is that we have dreaded posting this and avoided sharing this. We have gone back and forth, back and forth, wondering if we have any right to be able to ask this of others. This is just so totally uncomfortable because:
ONE: This is super personal. It’s not in our element to broadcast our heartaches to everyone, especially when it’s SO PERSONAL. It’s just that this struggle has reached the point that we need to help. Which brings us to reason number two for why it’s so hard to post...
TWO: Asking for help is hard. Asking for financial help is next level. It means we have to swallow our pride. It feels selfish – especially now, of all times. People want to help when you have fallen. We all know how bad it hurts to fall. It’s easy to empathize with a physical fall. But we’ve had emotional fall. A financial fall. We have fallen into a deep hole of fertility grief and now we’re asking for help.
IVF is expensive, and we don’t think other couples going through it ask for help enough. Maybe because they don’t feel like it’s okay to ask for help. Maybe because infertility is hard to talk about, and money is even harder. Maybe because of pride and shame. Even though it’s uncomfortable to be vulnerable, it’s important. It’s a gateway to understanding that this struggle affects 1 in 6 couples. It cultivates compassion. It opens hearts and is a precursor to love.
Despite it feeling uncomfortable for us to extend our hands out for help, Jay and I are going to embrace it. We are going to keep doing what we’ve been doing – put our story out there and talk about being the 1 in 6 who struggle with infertility. Show that it’s okay to ask for help. We are going to be vulnerable and voice our needs to you, our community. Meg Cabot once said, “Sometimes in life, you can fall down holes you can’t climb out of by yourself. That’s what friends and family are for – to help. They can’t help, however, unless you let them know you’re down there.”
By choosing to support us, you’re saying, “I see you down in that hole, and I choose to help.” You’re saying yes to a more vulnerable, more compassionate world. You’re saying yes to a world where asking for help is met with warmth and generosity. You’re saying yes to a world where people don’t feel like they have to go at it alone.
Our financial goal in this GoFundMe is high, but we are keeping our hopes and expectations low. This journey has been a rollercoaster.
We understand completely if people don’t have anything to spare. We just have to ask. For our hearts. For our dream. For our forever.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and hear our story. Even if you can’t donate, we just appreciate your love and support.
All funds will go towards the estimated $20,000-$25,000 that IVF will cost.
Note: some people are more comfortable with Venmo. Our Venmo is @KatieMGrayson.
Organizer
Katie Grayson
Organizer
Brookings, SD