Help to Break the Cycle of Domestic Abuse

On October 7, 2017, my sister, Mary (Atz) Ziegler was abused and traumatized by her husband. He held an axe to her head, threating to smash her brains all over the house. He also hooked a crow bar around her neck in order to get her to pay attention to him and answer his questions. The list of things he did that day goes on and on, and prior to this, she had experienced years of emotional and psychological abuse. She has two small children who were 5 and 1 and ½ at the time that this happened. They were both present during the incident. My sister was the sole financial supporter in her family. From the time she was married, her husband did not work. The emotional abuse and financial struggles she faced put her in survival mode. She tried to do everything to keep her family together, and she tried to help her husband. On that October day everything changed, and my sister spent the next 9 days with her husband who was threatening her not to leave. He repeatedly told her that the kids were going with him or they were going with nobody. On October 16, 2017, my sister was led to some friends, and she and her kids were saved by these friends who helped her to leave and kept her and the kids hidden. She and the kids left that day with only the clothes they were wearing. Since then, they have been striving to start over and heal.

 

Domestic violence follows a common cycle of abuse. It starts with a honeymoon period, moves to tension building, goes through an explosive phase and then moves to a second honeymoon period only to start over again. This repeated cycle of abuse if very hard to break. The abuse is a power play that leads the abuser to gain strength as he learns how to abuse, make excuses and move on as if nothing happened. Because of this cycle, the victim is led to believe that her abuser is sincere and keeps trying to move on. With each cycle, the victim becomes more and more nervous and may even start believing the lies, thinking the violent actions are justified and deserved. The first step to stopping the cycle is telling someone. My sister was able to do that and now she has to stay strong and communicative. Over the past year, she has had to spend dozens of days in court, because her husband denied everything and has been trying to defend himself. However, just this past October, almost 1 year to the day she left, the judge ruled that my sister was highly credible and that her husband was not, and he issued my sister a 4-year restraining order against her husband. The struggle continues now, as her husband pushes through the court system, alleging that he was the perfect father. My sister is now faced with protecting her kids from being put into a situation that is not healthy or emotionally safe. She is continuing to stop the cycle of abuse, because now that she has left her home, the abuse has taken on a new from through the legal system. As you can imagine, this is a very expensive process and my sister cannot afford the legal fees that are required to keep going. We are asking that you consider helping to put a stop to the cycle of domestic violence by donating to support my sister’s legal fees. The amount we set for the goal does not cover the full amount, and it continues to rise. If we can exceed our goal that would be amazing. Ultimately, if the goal is exceeded and there are funds left over, my sister will be using the extra money to start a fund for women like her. Anything helps, and we really appreciate your support!