Help as I recover from cancer treatment complications

Update after procedure

*******UPDATE: surgery took place Thursday February 15th as scheduled and it was a success. They were able to remove the tumor successfully. However, it was a rectal cancer not a colon cancer and they had to resect very low on the rectum and they removed far more than originally anticipated. The reconnection is very low on the rectum not giving my body the normal place to store stool and there fire there have been some very serious challenges regarding evacuating stool. I also went into the surgery without urinary incontinence but came out of it without a way to evacuate my bladder of urine and therefore am discharging with a foley bag. I also have a newly acquired hemorrhoid which is internal and external. I am in a great deal of pain. They think I will manage at home although I must say at this point with this level of pain and uncontrollable bowel movements I disagree. They are however releasing me regardless with foley in place. This requires me to purchase many items never anticipated prior to surgery and it looks as though this may be a long term situation. I will see physical therapy and urology later today prior to discharge perhaps I will have more information then. I will update if I do.

*****UPDATE: I lost my job today. I have no income and surgery in 3 weeks. Please consider donating. I will be using all proceeds to pay for housing groceries and bills to get me through until after recuperation from surgery and I can return to the workforce. There is literally no donation too small. If all of my Facebook friends and acquaintances were able to donate the cost of a coffee or a fast food meal it would provide my ability to recuperate without worrying about losing my home.

Hello everyone it's me! I am fundraising for myself. As uncomfortable as this is to do, I have found myself without any other options. To say this is how I wanted everyone to find out about this fight would be a lie. To be honest, I have been going through this privately for a while and didn't intend to disclose it to but a few people. Unfortunately, I am now disclosing my fight and the struggles I am now facing because of it to the world.

My entire life, those close to me have always joked with me saying, "Tell me how you really feel". Perhaps that's because I am always so outspoken dare I say blunt. I have always been rather direct. While this is not necessarily everyone's cup of tea, it has served me well when it came to advocating for my patients, family members and my children. I don't think telling you how I really feel would be appropriate. I remember being so upset for other's diagnoses and I have spent the majority of my life in service to others, many of which had this very diagnosis of some type of cancer. Whether professionally, personally, or through my church and community organizations,I have been that someone anyone could turn to when in need. I may not have had much, but I have always been willing to give what I had, and help you obtain resources to get what you needed. My phone is always on and I will always answer no matter the time as long as I hear it. You can always come to my home for a meal, a cup of tea, or cup of coffee. If the occasion calls for it, there's always Ben and Jerry's.

With that being said, I was diagnosed with Colon Cancer. I am scheduled for surgery in the near future. I could be out of work for 2-6 weeks depending on what happens when they are in there. They cannot give me an accurate stage at this time until they remove and send the lymph nodes to pathology. My scans have not shown any metasteses at this time so I can say not stage four as of today but truth is I am left with nothing but questions. I am sure you also have many as well and unfortunately the answer to all of them at this time is more than likely, "we don't know". Will I be having chemotherapy? Will I need radiation? How long will I be out of work? We do not know.

What do I know? Well, I know that I have never backed down from a fight in my entire life and I do not intend to begin with this one. I know that my faith and belief in God remains as strong as ever and I would truly appreciate if you too could join me in this fight. I need all of my prayer warriors please join me! I also know that the reality of this diagnosis and the testing and scans and preps and blood draws and secondary issues that come from such a diagnosis are taking a toll. I am missing work for all of it and my income has been reduced by more than half at this point. I am still in my probationary period and I have no idea, if in fact, I will be able to keep this job. However, even if I do, I do not get any paid time off, there are no benefits to help me regarding any type of disability. I do not qualify for FMLA, I also do not qualify for compassionate allowances through the social security administration. I have filed for disability benefits however I know from experience with patients and family that these benefits could take years to get. I have already exhausted my 403b when I had covid long haulers and lost my cognition secondary to the monocolal which did not return for well over a year. I do not have any other options to ask for your assistance in this fight. If you know me at all you know how difficult this is for me to do. It is by far the most uncomfortable thing I've had to do outside of breaking the news to my family that I have this diagnosis.

I know the amount seems rather high but I do not know what the insurance will or will not cover and I have no idea how long this journey will take or what it will entail. I do know that contributions can be written off on your taxes. I do know that at this exact moment, I do not have any money at all and all cards are maxed out from trying to make up the difference in hours I am not being paid. I need assistance with not losing my home, keeping my car on the road to get back and forth to the hospital, getting the nutrition I need, paying the bills I was unable to defer.

You can feel free to reach out to me. I will answer whatever I can for as long as I can but please understand that I will be making updates as new information becomes available. I would love to see or talk to all of you but I would love that time to be speaking briefly about the cancer and more so about what is going on in your world. What you are finding joy in. I tire of cancer talk if I am being honest. There's a lot required as this portion of my journey is immersed in it. I just prefer to keep all other communication happy and joyful and positive. I want to speak about deep subjects just like always, I want to discuss things that really matter, I want to effect change for the better in all things but especially in a world in which there is no help for anyone who gets diagnosed with cancer. I hope you understand. Just as in all other aspects of my life I am being 100% authentic and forthcoming about everything. I intend to keep that authenticity as this journey progresses.

Cancer... a word that when spoken hold so much emotion, so much fear, so much anger. I want it to hold hope and victories and testimonies. I want it to be the footnote of my life that denotes but a moment in a chapter of my life. I want to remove its power and defeat it in the name of Jesus! I want to be able to say cancer, BUT GOD said no you won't not today, not any day! I want the victory! I do not know what the future holds but I do know that God will be wherever it takes me. I do know that he will have the victory and all glory is his! I refuse to shed a single tear as I give no satisfaction to this diagnosis and rebuke it in the name of Jesus! I am not going to sit and cry I will stand and fight! I will don the full armor of God and I will fight!

However I cannot do this alone, I need you. I never expected to be fighting this at this age. I never expected to be having needs I cannot meet for myself at this age. I do know that cancer is unpredictable and this one is known to recur. I also know that this is but the beginning. I know that if I need chemo and or radiation it can go on for months and even years. The road ahead may be a long and rather complex one. To put it bluntly living with cancer is expensive. Not something any of us prepare for, I am not even sure one could. I will do what I can to meet my own needs for as long as I possibly can but as I have stated I am less than half of my income and have been for a while now.

I have a very loving and supportive family but they cannot carry me through this. Their income is limited and they have families of their own to care for. The last thing I ever desire to be is a burden to anyone but especially not to my own babies. If you choose to donate, your donations will have an immediate impact allowing me to keep a roof over my head, provide groceries, help with insurance and transportation.

When people talk about cancer they speak of surviving it, dying of it, enduring it. I want my story to be that I overcame it, I thrive in spite of it, that I have cancer but cancer doesn't have me, that mentally, emotionally and spiritually I have risen above it and that I have a testimony that people truly care, that they care enough to ensure I will have my needs met and I can concentrate on healing instead of worrying how I will survive it.

If you feel compelled to give, I am most grateful! If you are not able or choose not to for whatever reason I ask that you share this with others that may be able to help. Please say a prayer for my healing. There is no amount too small every single penny will count and be appreciated.

It is will love, gratitude, and humility that I post this. I will be responding as I am able to any messages left here.