Help Us Celebrate Don's Fighting Spirit

If I could describe my father, Don, in one word it would be, fighter. He was a fighter for most of his life. As a child, he encountered bullies. When he’d come home to tell his aunt that he was being picked on, she’d tell him to “fight back, and if you don’t win, don’t come home.” By today’s standards, that seems harsh, but my dad said that it motivated him. He knew his aunt meant business, so not only did he fight back, he became the best fighter in his neighborhood. Don used his skills not just to protect himself, but other kids who were being harassed. He said, “the one person I can’t stand is a bully.” Don carried this attitude all of his life.

My father struggled through poverty. There were periods in his life when he was homeless, yet he would still give his money to people. I’d ask him, “Why do you do this when you know that you’re in need?” His answer was usually something like, “Because I know that some people need it more than I do. The people I usually give money to owe other people money. If they don’t pay their debt, they’ll get hurt. I won’t watch someone get hurt over $100.” He still believed in protecting the little guy, even when he was down.

The last few years of Don’s life, he fought hard against type two diabetes, a disease that took his leg. The illness crippled his body, but not his spirit. After the amputation, he continued to live a full, independent life. Every day he was out and about, on NYC buses going to appointments, to see his grandkids, friends, and doing things he liked. During Don’s travels, he dealt with bus drivers who wouldn’t stop for him because he was in a wheelchair. This is just one of the many indignities he faced as a disabled person. My father, of course, wouldn’t stand for this. He would park his wheelchair directly in front of a bus and refuse to move until the driver let him on. Passengers may have been pissed, but they were not the ones being discriminated against. Once again, my father would not allow others to mistreat him.

Don’s final battle was with an onslaught of vicious infections that attacked his body. He went into septic shock and had a cardiac arrest. During his hospitalization, he went into cardiac arrest again a month later. He was gone for seven minutes and survived. Don experienced respiratory failure and was placed on life support. He fought for four more months, clinging to his body. I watched the life drain from my father, but not his fighting spirit. Eventually, every warrior must lay down his weapons and surrender. On October 22, 2024, my father’s war was over, and he passed away.

Now my family and I wish to celebrate his memory. We want to honor his life with a memorial service that he would’ve appreciated. My father was more than a fighter. Don was funny, kind, and generous. He enjoyed good music, food, and a great time. He was also a dog owner. He loved his two shih tzu dogs, Buttons and Trixie. They have been in the care of his aunt who lives out of state since he became disabled. My father ensured that they had a loving home when he could no longer take care of them physically. He would often send his aunt money to take care of his dogs. We’d like to use part of this money to ensure that his beloved animals are taken care of and donate to the ASPCA. Our desire is to also have a celebration of life event that would’ve brought him joy and made him proud. Would you help us make this happen for him? As you know, even modest memorial services can be expensive. Your donations will be used for covering these expenses. No donation is too large or small. Please give what your heart allows. Please pass on this GoFundMe link to others who may want to contribute as well. My father had a hard run in his life. We don’t want our last memories of him to be filled with pain and suffering. It is time to celebrate the fighter, not just mourn him.

How will your donation be spent? Here’s an approximate breakdown.

Memorial $1500

Memorial plaque at Woodlawn Cemetery $330

Care of his dogs $800

Donation to ASPCA $370