Help Us Escape Toxicity And Build a New Future

Hi everyone,

We're reaching out for your help during one of the most challenging times of our lives. We've lived in a household filled with narcissism, toxicity, and abuse for far too long, and we've finally made the brave decision to break free and start anew.

Living under constant emotional manipulation and psychological abuse has taken its toll on both of us. Despite our best efforts to create a peaceful environment, we've come to realize that the only way forward is to leave. Our dream is to find a safe and stable place where we can rebuild our lives without fear and negativity.

A’s letter:

Our father has been the most abusive in this entire household. Using all sorts of abuse that he thought worked. From physical abuse when I was very young, financial abuse when I was a pre-teen, to emotional; mental; and psychological abuse currently as a teen.

He has mentally disowned me since I was 16 by no longer talking to me unless necessary. He no longer wants to waste his time with me, such as not helping me with my homework. He then completely stopped talking to me when I turned 17, excluding me from all family conversations but has no problem backbiting me and calling me names to my mom in front of my face . He does not even look my way anymore, as if I’m invisible.

He has also recently begun restricting my freedom of learning to drive or getting a bank account/Debit Card as a way of "parenting," because I struggle to eat. I suffer with several mental and physical issues that I cannot quite diagnose myself for as I was never able to get therapy (too expensive and he finds it useless). Instead of getting me professional help, he taunts me by commenting on my body and lecturing me on how “dangerous” it is to keep up my lifestyle that is hard to change, which it does not help.

He has been looking down on me all my life, always assuming the worst of me and never hearing me out whenever I want to defend myself (called it disrespect and all.) He always paints a horrible distorted image of me. The father and daughter relationship is practically non-existent as our father is emotionally immature and never bothers on fixing anything.

Our pets’ letter:

Unfortunately, our pets have also become victims of their abuse. We currently have two birds and one cat. With the birds being adopted first, 5 years before the cat. Our birds have been through constant tantalizing from our father. He would pet them aggressively, pet them in places birds find uncomfortable (bird-owners, you understand), harass them, block their gate door so they won't escape from him when he is harassing them, scaring them with a hairbrush (they genuinely freak out and fly everywhere in their cage, causing them to bash themselves against the cage and fall), and just being outright horrible to them. Because of him, our birds’ trust has been completely broken and cannot be regained. His reasoning for all his actions was "If they're considered pets, why can't we pet them?"

As for the cat, our mother pushes her boundaries too. She grabs the cat by her leg alone and her aggressively, obviously angering the cat which makes the cat begin scratching and biting. This upsets my mother and starts handling the cat more aggressively.

There have also been several instances where our mom would threaten to sell the cat, get rid of the cat, open the door and let the cat walk out the house, or abandon the cat. This has left us both weary and afraid if these threats are true. We both love our pets very much and only want what’s best for them.

These pets have also never seen a veterinarian in their life.. We would like to start taking our pets regularly to a veterinarian from now on once we get our own apartment and are freely allowed to do whatever we please.

L’s letter:

As for me, our mother is willing to cut contact just by wearing the hijab. She believes that it isn't necessary/an obligation to wear it as it wasn't specifically stated in the Quran. I have argued with her about it respectfully, showing her evidence and such, but she believes that it has been misinterpreted. In quote, she said, “If you wear hijab, I don't know you and you don't know me.” Recently, I have been going behind her back and wearing it in public, and when I finally told her about it she would ask me why I would do that and would give me a look of disgust. When I finally wore it for the first time in front of her, she would tell me “Take that shit off.” She has also been trying to confiscate my hijabs when we’re about to go out, causing us to look around for it and delay leaving before finding it.

I feel comfortable wearing the hijab and I want to please Allah by wearing the Hijab. Sadly my mother is in my way and she plans on cutting contact when I do wear the hijab. I do not want to live in this kind of environment where I am punished for wearing what Allah has told me to wear.

Hoarding problem:

Another big issue we deal with constantly is our father’s hoarding problems. He constantly buys big things or random junk from a thrift store, or picks things up off the street, and brings them into our home when we don't even need it. Our house is extremely messy because of it, with every room having several broken pieces of furniture. Including ours. Our room is filled with 3 broken pieces of furniture and 3 useless furniture that we never asked for. We have been begging to get desks for our upcoming new chapter of our lives (university) but he does not care. They tell us to stay at the university to do our homework. This is unacceptable as we would like to settle for a neat and homey atmosphere for ourselves.

We have also been sharing a room ever since we were kids, And since our room is super tiny and cannot even fit two desks and two beds without taking up everything and possibly getting in the way of closet doors, etc. Sharing a room has also gotten frustrating as there are times we would like to be alone and have our own personal space. We never got our own rooms as it was expensive to afford another room.

Over protection:

This has been such a BIG issue in our lives since growing up. They never let us bring our technology upstairs, we can never close our door, we never got to go out with friends. We were practically locked away inside our own home. The only places we would go is school then we are to go back home immediately. They have grounded us several times and considered our technology as a reward rather than a luxury item we were trusted to carry (at one point Amir was grounded for 2 years and Lenny for 1 year). Our mom has secretly gone through our phones several times, breaking our trust with her when we found out (she would confront us with an angry tone). They have taken away every chance of us getting closer to adulthood. We never learned how to drive, open a bank account, and make money during our teen years. They never allowed us to get a job or start art commissions. So, now we have several responsibilities to take in all at once with barely any cash in hand.

There was also a time period (2020, what we consider to be the worst year of our lives, for obvious reasons) Where domestic abuse became common in the household, we were in quarantine for 2 years, silent treatment was in effect, we had no technology, and could not text or hang out with a single friend. We were literally put in isolation with the most toxic and abusive environment. It was the most mentally damaging thing that ever happened in our lives at the age of 14 to the point suicide and self harm became a quick coping mechanism for us. They said they were protecting us from the virus.

Laziness, neglect, Etc:

Despite their “over protectiveness,” they suck at being their kid’s best friend. They do not take any time out of their day to initiate conversation, ask about our day, or help us out with problems. They stick very closely to themselves and their addiction towards their phones, computers, and TV. They barely talk to us unless we need something from them. Trust us though, we have tried several times to initiate conversations with them either during meals or just sitting in silence but it always ends in an argument or ends quickly by them just ignoring us.

They have neglected our emotional well-being but have no problem stressing us out by destroying our emotional state and mental health.

We have become their personal maids for everything. While yes, giving chores to your kids is very good but when there is no personal connection with your own child, it feels as if we are maids. Do the chore and don't bother me.

Another thing is the fact our dad barely makes any income. It was hard for our father to complete college due to other factors in our lives, then eventually gave up as time passed by from his laziness and procrastination. We live on the poverty line due to low income and from him not fully completing college. He also procrastinates on serious documents that need to be filled out for us before we turn 18 (once we turn 18, we will have to spend lots of time and money to complete on our own.)

In conclusion, our life is certainly inconvenient. As upcoming university students having to pay for student bills, get cars, pay for medical/vet bills, and more. We are in a tight place. That’s why we are reaching out to you today. We are seeking your support to help us move out of this toxic household and into a safe, stable environment where we can thrive. Your contribution will enable us to secure a new place to live, cover essential living expenses, and continue our education without the weight of constant negativity holding us back.

Every donation, no matter how small, will make a significant difference in our lives. Your generosity will not only help us escape a harmful situation but will also empower us to pursue our dreams and build the future we deserve.

We are deeply grateful for your support and kindness during this challenging time in our lives. With your help, we believe that we can turn our dreams into reality and create a brighter tomorrow.

Thank you for being a part of our journey.