Help with Jose's Final Journey

Hi, my name is Kelly Chicoma and along with a few friends, I want to thank you for taking a moment to read and consider this story.

A man met the love of his life in Ecuador, adventured with her to the US and stayed at her side for the rest of her years. A love so strong, you would think it only exists in fairy tales or movies. This love story belongs to Mr. Jose Luis Erazo and Mrs. Edith Erazo. Their daughter is Viviana Erazo happens to be one of my best friends. She is lucky enough, I think, to have lived with that love surrounding her and I think because of that love, my friend is so, so, so great.

Since Mrs. Erazo’s passing, Mr. Erazo has been at my friend’s side. He has been her anchor and fiercest supporter in everything she wanted to do. It didn’t matter how much time or money he had. To Viv, he’s been everything. I’ve watched Viv move a few times throughout the years, always making decisions and plans with her dad in mind. They have celebrated her wins together and he’d cheer her up any time things were tough. This love is reciprocal. Viv has given her dad everything she could make possible even if it meant passing on “that trip or that party or even that outfit”. Nothing meant more than making her best guy happy. She made sure he was up to date on his medical matters and understands more about the healthcare system now than most.

In 2018, Dementia began its attempts at robbing Jose of the things he loves to do in life and the memories he held so close. Jose was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia and has been slowly deteriorating. In April 2023 he suffered a stroke that affected his mobility and speech. Viv then had to face one of her toughest decisions of having to place her dad in a state managed nursing facility. It was tough because it would mean she no longer had the privilege of spending time with him at home. In the end she knew it was best for him. She could no longer physically take care of him alone. This past April, he was diagnosed with Stage 4 Prostrate Cancer, which metastasized from the prostrate to the bone. Jose was then given a terminal prognosis of 6 months or less. Viv’s career as a social worker can demand her time morning, noon, night and sometimes even weekends. Therefore, Viv has had to take a leave of absence a few times because she physically and mentally could not be in two places at once.

Her dad now faces a daily dose of pain, fatigue, lack of mobility, and now faded memories. Chewing is becoming a distant memory. He must be fed pureed food, which Viv makes sure he has and is given timely. Unfortunately, if someone is not present at the facility, it is not guaranteed her dad will eat at all or be changed timely. State facilities are understaffed and most barely complete their daily tasks. Viviana came to terms with the fact she cannot afford to be with her dad 24/7. She was forced to seek assistance from caretakers who, like fallen angels, have sometimes volunteered their personal time caring for her dad. The daily financial strain of medical expenses and necessities to care for Jose overwhelms Viviana as she tries to balance caring for her father, facing the emotions of his terminal illness, and being a support to Jose’s physical, emotional, medical, and financial needs.

Still, Viviana tries to make sure her dad is as comfortable as possible and almost all hours of her day is spent with him. Viv has spent countless hours researching how best to handle and cope with the two diseases, especially dementia. She has not missed one holiday, Father’s Day or any of their birthdays. She has been there to celebrate with him, comfort him, feed him, be his anchor now. Viviana has described dementia and cancer as both monsters individually but together a whole other beast. Jose now no longer recognizes his daughter.

Viviana has been resilient throughout this time. However, the most brutal reality is the looming emotional and financial stress of laying Jose to rest when the time comes. A few of Viviana’s close friends and I chose to share Jose’s story and ask that you please consider donating to our GoFundMe campaign and share it with your friends, to help assist in the relieve of the funeral expenses Viv will additionally need to face. You can donate as much as you wish. Your kindness and generosity will bring comfort during this difficult time. Thank you.

Translation in Spanish below:

Buenas, mi nombre es Kelly Chicoma y junto con unas amigas, quien agradecerle ante mano por tomar un momento para considerar esta historia.

Un hombre conocido el amor de su vida en el Ecuador, adentro con ella hace los EEUU y se quedo junto a su lado por el resto de sus anos de ella. Un amor tan fuerte que pareciera existir solo en cuentos de hadas. Esta historia de amor pertenece a el Sr Jose Luis Erazo y la Sra Edith Erazo. Su hija se llama Viviana Erazo y ella es una de mis mejores amigas. Ella tuvo la suerte a ver vivido con ese amor al su alrededor y creo que por ese amor, mi amiga tan excelente.

Desde que falleció la Sra Erazo, el Sr Erazo ha estado al lado de mi amiga. El hacido so ancla y su mayor apoyo en todo lo que ella quería hacer. No importaba cuanto tiempo ni dinero tenia. Para Viviana, el lo hacido todo. Yo la he visto a Vivi moverse durante los anos, siempre haciendo cambios o decisiones con su papa en mente. Ellos han celebrado sus exitos juntos y el siempre con ella cuando las cosas se ponían difíciles también. Vivi le ah dado todo lo posible a su papa, aunque hay veces significaba dejar al lado otras cosas como un paseo o un traje. Para Vivi, su papa era lo mas importante ser feliz. Ella se aseguraba que el este al tanto con su medicina y ella sabe mas que muchos ahora como navegar el sistema medico.

En 2018, Dementia comenzó a robarle a el Sr Erazo de coses que a el le gustaba hacer y las memorias que el tenia. El fue diagnosticado con dementia vascular y poco a poco empeorando. En Abril 2023, el sufrido derrame cerebral el cual afecto su movilidad y su hablar. Vivi entonces tuvo que decidir de ponerlo en un lugar del estado. Esta decision fue muy difícil por que significaba que ya Vivi no tendría el privilegio de pasar mas tiempo con el en casa. Al fin, ella supo que fue esta la mejor decision para el, especialmente porque no podría cuidarlo físicamente en casa ella sola. Este Abril el fue también diagnosticado con cancer de próstata en 4ta estaba y se ha mestizado a los huesos. La carrera de Vivi demanda mucho de su tiempo, incluyendo hay veces fin de semana y es por eso que ella tuvo que tomar tiempo fuera del trabajo para estar con su papa. Es imposible poder estar fisicamente y mentalmente en dos sitios al mismo tiempo. El Sr Erazo ahora se enfrenta con dolores, fatiga, no poder moverse solo y mas y mas olvidando sus memorias. Masticar ahora es algo que el se le ha olvidado y hay que darle comida molida. Desafortunadamente si alguien no esta físicamente allí con el, es difícil asegurar que el coma. Estos sitios del estado no tienen personal necesario siempre. Vivi ha tenido que buscar el apoyo de otras personas que le ayude ah cuidar a su papa estando a su lado. Estas personas han sido hay veces como unos ángeles dedicando su tiempo personal hay veces. Los cargos diarios de medicina y necesidades para Vivi se continuan aumentando mientras ella trata de también balancear cuidando a su papa y navegando sus emociones al saber que ya se acerca sus últimos días con su papa. Ella pasa casi todos sus horas con el. Al mismo tiempo también ella ha buscado aprender mas sobre el diagnostico de su papa, especialmente demencia. Ella no ha perdido ninguna fecha importante con el como el día del padre, navidad o su cumpleaños. Ella esta a su lado para ser la ancla de el ahora. Vivi describe demencia y el cancer como dos monstruos individualmente pero juntos algo peor que un monstruo. El Sr Erazo ya no reconoce a su hija. Aun Vivi trata de mantener fuerte, ya sabemos que pronto se acerca la etapa difícil de despedirse finalmente. Vivi tendrá que enfrentar los otros costos que se necesita para poner a descansar a su papa y el estrés que viene con eso. Yo y algunas de sus amigas hemos decido compartir esta historia con usted y pedir que una donación para poder ayudarle a ella con esos gastos. Puede donar lo que usted guste. Muchas gracias por su apoyo de ante mano.